Having some bridal party issues :(

I personally think that it's rude to ask someone after your party is already established. Plus, you're letting them bully you into giving them exactly what they want and I'm not about that. I wouldn't have explicitly gone out of my way to tell them that they weren't in the bridal party, but I suppose you can't take that back now. I would just reiterate that it's family only and you're sorry that they feel excluded. Explain that they will still be invited to any pre-wedding events like your bachelorette or shower. You could also find other ways to include them like letting them get ready with you the day of the wedding or have them do a reading.

I guess I wanted to tell them in person that my party was going to be family only, especially because they were both assuming and making comments about being bridesmaids. I just didn't want them to find out on social media or some other way. I thought sitting them down and explaining the situation was the best way to do it.

I get why your friends are mad. If you guys go back 20 years I'm sure they just thought they would be in the wedding party and for you to say it's family only is a little bit of a slap in the face. Should they bully you into letting them be in the bridal party...definitely not! However I get it. Maybe you could ask them to still help plan or come to some pre-wedding stuff as a compromise. Then they feel included but are still not apart of the wedding party.

I agree with this - I would not have told them that they were not included, I would have not said anything at all. Perhaps that is why they were so defensive? Do not let them into the party, that is bullying on their part.

Personally, I feel like it would have been WAY worse to not say anything and let them go on assuming they were in it. Maybe I didn't handle it correctly, but I stand by my decision to communicate with them face to face. But I do agree that perhaps this was the reason they acted out like this. Thank you!

No I agree with the decision to communicate face to face, it is too bad (too late now, lol) to have just asked them straight out to be readers at the ceremony or asked one to read and one to give a special toast. I am sorry they are acting this way. Invite them to all pre-wedding things and if they decline just say "okay" do not press for a reason, I am afraid you may get an earful, lol!!

You did just fine. They're completely off the rails. And what's this about: "owe them more than an apology"? Owe them what more, exactly? A new car? Vacation? Winning lotto tickets?

They're being ridiculous.

I agree this seems like a super dramatic reaction to not being part of a wedding party. How old are these people? It isn't even like you picked and chose a few friends to be part of the party (not that it would give them any right to treat you this way)... but it is clear it is family only. I would not cave in to any threats and I would no longer bring it up. They are completely out of line - you owe them nothing.

Thanks for saying that, I agree it is pretty dramatic. They are 29 and 27, and I'm the first person in our group of friends to get married (I'm 29). To me, they are acting selfish and trying to make the day about them. I just stopped responding to the texts and don't plan to bring it up again unless they do. I was honestly shocked and pretty hurt by this whole situation. :/

I am not close with my cousins as they are all way older than me so I don't know what that's like. I think if they knew at all you were very close to your cousins that they would respect your decision. I think it's absurd to have 12 people if you really included them all. 8 is even a lot for my taste if you added the two friends. I don't think you have to apologize anymore more than you did? What more do they want? It's your wedding and your choice. I was in a good friend's wedding party and she moved to FL and we drifted as friends so I didn't include her in my party. She asked me why but she didn't say she was mad at me nor flipped out. Family only is pretty specific, and it's kinda dumb for them to get so worked up about it.