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K
Beginner December 2025

He cheated... now what?

Kristen, on November 15, 2020 at 6:54 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 43

I found out he cheated a couple times with a girl I actually met with him... I am so hurt and beyond disappointed. I have called off the wedding for now but how do I tell everyone? Do I blame covid? My dad put down about 5k worth of deposits so far... my fiance is prepared to pay him back but do I...
I found out he cheated a couple times with a girl I actually met with him... I am so hurt and beyond disappointed. I have called off the wedding for now but how do I tell everyone? Do I blame covid? My dad put down about 5k worth of deposits so far... my fiance is prepared to pay him back but do I even tell him the reason?? So far just my 2 bridesmaids know and I'm going to tell the 3rd later today... also he is going to go to counseling and is taking steps to make things right.. not saying I will take him back but I am at least willing to try....

43 Comments

  • K
    Beginner December 2025
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you everyone. I do have a weekend planned with my girl and our sons in 2 weeks... the counselor definitely said I need to enjoy more time with my girls... This is such a hard thing to go through I'm so angry at him for ruining our trust! He has been bending over backwards these last 2 weeks I just hope I'm not making a mistake giving him a 2nd chance... I thought for sure he was my soulmate but how could a soulmate do something so hurtful???
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  • K
    Dedicated December 2020
    KK77 ·
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    "how could a soulmate do something so hurtful" I believe that is a question you will need to determine for yourself. People can learn from their mistakes though its not easy...they are who they are. You will have to determine IF you can trust him again. That may or may not happen and that is ok. You are the one in the relationship and not any of us. You get to decide and you get to choose. I would say that 2 weeks is not enough time to determine. I think you need to understand and he needs to be able to clearly articulate WHY it happened and WHY it happened repeatedly (if I understand it correctly). How does he respond? Does he take ownership? Only time will tell you this is a supreme mistake that he has learned from or if this is just SOP (standard operating procedure). If you get ANY pushback from him, and I mean any, I believe you have your answer.

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  • Erin
    VIP September 2023
    Erin ·
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    As someone who put their now FH on blast for cheating, and then took him back after a great deal of soul searching on his part, it’s been hard for my family and friends to forgive him for what he seid, even though it’s been years, and he’s been an exemplary SO since we patched things up. The judgement is definitely still there. Because of that, I would say that if there is ANY chance of reconciliation in the future, only tell those who need to know for whatever reason, but be as truthful as possible “we have different ideas for the future” “we stopped seeing eye to eye” “things just didn’t work out” etc...
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