He dislikes my daughter and doesn't want to get married anymore

Get the hell out of dodge. Good luck! It may be hard, but you can do it and you all will be better off in the long run

Sorry you're going through this! It sounds like its time to get out of that relationship though.

Leave him. You and your daughters are a package deal. Sorry you will learn a hard lesson, but you should never combine finances until married, nor invest in someone else's home.

If a man says that about my child I would cut my losses and move on. OBVIOUSLY easier said than done. Have a conversation with your daughter too and get her opinion. But do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who doesn't love and respect your baby? If you have documents that shows you poured money into the home, consult with an attorney and see if it's worth suing. But it may be more trouble than it's worth. He sounds like a prick and I would be out so fast it's not even funny. Like today. Your daughters and their wellbeing is so much more important.

Im sorry but in this situation i would leave. No questions. I would never allow ANYBODY to pick on one of my children. Get out. This may be your blessing in disguise.

He doesn't have the credit or money to pay for renovations or the wedding but he can buy an Audi SUV?

Please run. Take your kids and run.

Walk away now.

OP it sounds like you have the right idea. I really respect your strength and your decision to put yourself and your daughters first. You will never regret that decision. Know that even though we're all internet strangers, we have your back!

It sounds like he is going through a midlife crisis... If it was me, I'd leave. I wouldn't even want to do counselling with a man like that! Take your babies and go somewhere safe, away from this man. I don't know what you mean by "picking" on your daughter, but any kind of negative treatment towards your babies is a HUGE red flag.

Know that you didn't fail your kids, in turn, you're making things better for them by leaving.

Chin up! Everything will be okay in the end.

He's telling you that he doesn't like your daughter. That's cold, insensitive, and disgusting. Even counseling can't fix that. It's a deal-breaker, IMO. Walk away.

I'm really sorry you ended up in this situation, but I'm so glad to hear you have prioritized your daughters over him. He's obviously selfish; giving an ultimatum of requiring you to choose to "fix" your daughter's behavior or not get married to him. At least this came out before you were married because the choice is clear.

Sorry for your financial losses, but it'll be worth it in the long run to build a new life for you and your girls without him!

I am a lawyer in California and real estate law is one of my specialties. I highly recommend you go speak with a lawyer ASAP because depending on whether or not you have a claim, each claim has a short period of time to file that claim in court. In the meantime, gather all your documents, receipts, emails, letters, etc. regarding all of the remodeling you have financed and any communication from him on that topic. Not knowing the specifics of your case, nor the state you're in, it is possible you have a claim against him to recover the money you used to improve his home. Even if a lawyer charges a consult fee, it is usually less than $300 and is well worth it to find out your rights. Here, the ones who offer free consults are not actually giving you substantive legal information, but it is more of an interview to see if you want to hire them. I wish you the best of luck!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a difficult and painful position to be in. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who picked on my child and didn't like them. Your children need to come first. My mother has a boyfriend (they've been together for over 15 years) who has never been particularly nice to my sisters and I. We all have a strained relationship with my mother because of that. The feeling that your mother is choosing a man over you can be very painful. Sending you hugs and strength to get through whatever decisions you must make!!

I'm an attorney in Missouri and 100% agree with @earias 's advice. Talk to an attorney about your options. Your daughter comes first. It may also benefit you to talk to a financial advisor to help get a strategy to get on your feet effectively and provide for your kids. Good luck!

Fuck counseling, just leave. Kids come first

Leave him Sis!

If judge Judy can fix matters like this, I'm sure a lawyer can help you! Get yourself a lawyer and GTFO of that horrible situation you are in. You can get money back, but you can't get your daughter's trust and respect back if you choose this piece of shit over family.

This is a sign to run and don't look back. You may loose money in the house now, but trust me when I say "You will loose so much more down the road". On a positive note, he might be doing you a favor by showing his true colors now than later. Always always always PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST!!!!!!!

Honestly I'd be out the door real quick.... just my opinion. Huge red flags right there. I haven't read any comments but I would be long gone real quick if any man said something like that about my kid who's supposed to be their step child.

I know how hard it is to know how much money you have put into the house but get out now. Losing the money will be easier than losing your daughter. If he doesn't respect your daughter then he doesn't respect you. Get out now and let him see what it's like to feel alone. I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one deserves that