He dislikes my daughter and doesn't want to get married anymore

Mom to mom? Fuck him.

Sorry to be blunt but I would not want to subject my children to that.

As much as i would love to remodel the house i am in now, i WILL NOT until this house is in both our names. I have lived in my fh house for 5 years and i cant wait until we remodel.

But honestly tho is your daughter disrespecting him? Is this a step parenting issue? Because my future stepchildren i expect them to treat me with respect and do what i ask them to do ,and if that doesnt work i work with their father to talk to them from his angle

Couples counselling?? The only counselling you need is from a good lawyer. Find out where you stand legally. Dump this guy and get out.

Of course your daughter gets put first as everyone is saying but i learned from a good friend and from my own experience thats sometimes these kids can ruin a good relationship. Yea you choose your child, but shouldn't have to always lose out on a good man because of the kids. Maybe a good talk with her,because I have 2 almost teen boys&me&fiance would always get into it about thrm&of course id take their side but some days id explain to them its not fair that he&i have to keep arguing over them,its not fair he's moving out,we're breaking up because of them so I had to talk with them and tell them when Im sad ...cant you guys just listen to him,cant you take out the trash when he asks,cant you quite down sometimes he has a good point these are things you guys should be doing. It makes no sense we have to fight over it

So basically what Im saying is having a talk with your daughter may help..... Also fiance seems like he's being way to hard on you,cancelling the wedding, not wanting to pay anymore on it,sounds like he's looking for an exit. Is there something else wrong? Also they are right dont put more into the wedding until you know whats going on,also if theres a breakup before hand talk to him about being reimbursed for the upgrades you made to the house.good luck with everything

I am so sorry! This is heartbreaking. But at least you know now. Cut all ties and save up for a place of your own. You may have to stay with your parents or a close friend until you can get on your feet. Do it for your daughter. My mother did this to my brother and I. My stepfather mistreated us especially him for most of his life. He is now dead. My mother struggles to lives with herself although she is still married to him.

OP. We haven't heard from you in a while... Can we have an update? Has FH changed his tune or is he still giving you an ultimatum?

Do not marry this man. This will end in divorce and you dont know how much damage it will do to your daughters before that happens. Get out now and save yourself and your daughters. Money can be made back but your daughters cant.

Goodbye sir! Your kids come first, you are in charge of their safely and well being. If he treats them wrong, your kids could hold that against you and have issues in the future. (Of course, kids shouldn't dictate your entire personal life). But if he won't accept them, ultimately he doesn't accept you. It's a packaged deal. And he could be giving you warning signals on what kind of dad he will be. Quits when things are tough.

So sorry you are going through this, but you protect your babies!

RUN don't try to marry a man that don't accept your daughter she will always be your daughter it's not certain he will always be your man

HELL NO RED FLAG

@constance sorry for the lack of updates. I've been swamped with work! I'm reading all the messages of advise and as of now I will follow the lawyers advise of staying where I am, gathering all the receipts, not putting anymore money in HIS house (or the wedding), and look for a good lawyer. I'm sure that even if legally I am not entitled to get anything back, a good lawyer can argue that the only reason I did finance all those major remodeling project (including a $35K pool) is only because of the promise we would get married.

Now about my daughter, I want to specify that he is NOT physically abusive whatsoever. He is just overly stern with her, sometimes with reason (she's not perfect), sometimes just for the smallest, non important things. I know he was never a parent before, but I tried many times to explain to him that kids are not perfect and will never be, and that you can't get mad at them for EVERYTHING. He has to be more flexible and patient. But I feel like I'm talking to the wall.

My daughter still enjoys being around him and do things with him. But when he gets in those moods, it's like everyone should hide. And that's the problem. I don't want to walk on eggshells. I don't want to stress about what my daughter might do that might piss him off and trigger a "I don't want to get married to you anymore" argument. I work too hard to go through that. I like STABILITY, I need it. And right now I don't have it anymore and I can't live like that, not knowing what will happen tomorrow. I can't live at the mercy of someone else mood swings.

So that is my update: I'm preparing myself carefully and intelligently for what's coming. When the day come that we have to move out, I will be ready.

Thank you everyone so much for your support. I have read every single one of your messages.

THANK YOU