My b/f & I have been dating over 3 years after re-uniting after a 12 year part in ways. He has never been married before, and I was married for 11 years to my son's father ( it should be noted that I never had any say in any of the planning for my 1st wedding, since I was only 20 and my mom took over). Anyway, We've had the big wedding talks in the last year, and we even went venue hunting to book our venue for next year before our date was booked. He told me earlier this year that he would propose by the end of the year. I assumed Christmas or New Years.
Well, I have plenty of rings I like pinned on Pinterest, and I always keep myself logged in. I told him months ago about the pinterest board for ideas of what I like. I am very simple; I don't like too much bling, I don't like Yellow gold, and I like a slimmer band. Cost is not a big deal to me, as we are both very financially saavy people who don't want to overspend.
He wants the wedding experience. I would be happy celebrating in any way, but I understand that we should celebrate our union because it is our special love story, and I don't want to take the experience away from him. This will be my second and last marriage, and his only, after all.
With all of that said, he mentioned last week that he took a look at my pinterest board and couldn't find my rings I had saved, and he wasn't going to "waste too much time" searching for them. I mentioned that it usually takes 6-8 weeks for a ring to be ordered for pick-up if he was wanting to shop in a store. I'm a little disheartened that he hadn't started the process to research all of the pertinent info that one should know for engagement ring shopping before November. I had told him that I didn't want to pick out my own ring. I'm a romantic at heart, and I really feel strongly that the gesture of a man asking a woman to be his wife should be well-thought out, and he should WANT to make the effort for the grand gesture. I'm happy to point him in the right direction for what I like, which is what I thought I was doing by telling him what I don't like, and saving pictures of rings I do like.
Once I mentioned the 6-8 weeks standard delivery timeline, he said he wanted me to come shop with him to just point out a few rings I like. We did that this past weekend. I'm very simple, as I stated earlier. I don't want him spending too much on a ring, because we do have to pay for our wedding, plus, I don't do what everyone else is doing. i dance to the beat of my own drum, regardless of trends. I don't want him spending the national average of $5-6K on a ring! I also don't want the same ring as 10,000 other women this year, too. You know what I mean? Every ring I showed him was under $2500, respectfully, which is about a half a month's salary for him. Shouldn't be a stretch by any sense of the imagination. He either didn't like some of them, or balked at the price tag if it was over $1200.
I am happy to have a 1/4 carat, or even less, colored gems in lieu of all diamonds, etc. I'm really very easy-going and not hung up on status or materialism. Quality is still important. This ring is a symbol of our love that will be endless. I am very sad now, and I told him I don't want to go shopping for rings together any further. He doesn't think that the ring means that much, but it just does. I value the sentiment of commitment, and show of his happy investment in our future. I will be wearing this ring every day, and I want to have the happy thoughts of him making the romantic gesture with a well-planned proposal every time I look at it. I want him to want to make the effort. Otherwise I feel like he's saying I am not worth the effort of the grand gesture....and THAT spurs some new big questions in my mind just thinking about this.
Am I being ridiculous for wanting the effort and a proper proposal with a modest, quality ring?
