Head Table

My fiancé was in a wedding last March and that couple did a sweetheart table with a table for groomsmen & their SOs and the same for bridesmaids. It was really nice because I knew absolutely no one at the wedding and he really only knew the groom and the groomsmen after getting to know them a bit, so I was glad to not have to sit away from him. Because of how much we liked that as a guest, we will be doing the same for our wedding.

We're planning on doing a head table that will consist of 3 farmhouse tables pushed together. We'll be sitting in the middle, with our wedding party on either side of us, their SO's will be seated at tables together. We're only doing this because FH's brothers are his groomsmen, so their wives and kids will sit together, and the SO's of my bridal party know one another so they'll also sit together. This is really just for the beginning of the reception and for toasts, after that, we don't care where they sit lol. Now I will say, if our bridal parties' SOs weren't family and/or didn't know one another, we would skip the head table and seat everyone together.

I went to a wedding where my FH was in the wedding party. I was seated at a table with people I knew so it wasn't bad! But the bride and groom did tell me I could eat at the head table with my FH if I wanted to!

I've been a bridesmaid a couple of times and sitting at the head table was pure torture for me. I'm an introvert and was assigned to sit next to people I didn't know, so it was painfully awkward eating dinner in near silence and on display for all the guests to see (who aren't even there to see me - they're there for the bride and groom!). We're doing a sweetheart table with just us and having our wedding party sit with their SO's and friends at regular guest tables.

We had a head table but we sat everyone with their plus ones/dates! so it was fine. i don't like the idea of splitting the plus ones up from the party

I feel like head tables are weird. I don't see why members of the wedding party need to be "on display" the whole time and do think its awkward for the SO of someone in the wedding party to have to enjoy half of your event without their SO.

We did a sweetheart table, which gave us some private time away from our guests and also allowed everyone in our wedding to sit with their SOs and enjoy the company of different people.

I am 100% against splitting up couples. Whether that means that you have a sweetheart table, a Kings table, or any other combination of tables where your BM and GM can sit with their SOs/family, I don't care. Just don't separate the couples.

I did have a head table and regret it. I wish we would have either 1) sat with our bridal party at a couple of tables in the front and had their SO's/dates/+ones sit with them 2) put the bridal party at regular tables and done a sweetheart table in the front.

I've been the SO of a bridal party member many times since then and it's always awful when there's a head table. Yes, I'm an adult and can handle being away from H for a couple hours, but it's never actually enjoyable. Looking back I wish I wouldn't have done one!

I detest head tables, for several reasons.

1. They are super dated (they scream 80s/90s wedding)


2. They are rude to the WP’s SOs/dates/plus ones

3. They are awkward! No one likes feeling like they are on display while eating
As not only a future bride, but also as someone who has been a guest to over 50 weddings, and in the WP of 11 weddings… I would highly highly suggest either having a sweetheart table for you and your fiancé, or simply eliminating both a sweetheart table and a head table and just seating everyone at tables with people they enjoy (regardless of whether they are part of your WP or just guests).

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Yes to ALL of this (well, I've only been a wedding party twice). Head tables are dated, and I don't mean that in the "oooh, it's not trendy any more so we need to follow a new trend". But more in the sense that, now we know better, so we can do better.

We are skipping the WP but we are still doing a head table! We are sitting with my brother + his girlfriend & my fiancé's sis + her husband because had we decide to have a WP, my bro and his sis would have been our Man of honor & Best woman.
My fiancé's sis and her husband did the same: my fiancé was her man of honor: I was seated at 6-people head table with him, the best man + wife. This allowed the bridesmaids,groomsmen and groomswomen to seat with their spouse/boy(girl)friend or their +1 at other tables.

Head tables suck. I'm not going to be nice about it, either.

I have only been in one wedding where there was a head table (I was the only BP member with an SO or date.) The couple insisted "oh, [my husband] is seated at a really close table still!"

He was on the complete opposite end of the ballroom from me.

For the first ten or so minutes of dinner, we just sat there looking longingly across the room at each other, before we both abandoned our meals entirely and went and sat together in their lounge area.

Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, I can be away from my husband. But first of all, I already was away from my husband, from 8am that morning when hair and makeup started, to 7:00pm that night when dinner started. I was away from him the entire bridal party prep, the travel to the ceremony, the ceremony, the travel to the reception, and the entire cocktail hour. (Yes, the ENTIRE cocktail hour. I didn't even get to go have a drink with him.) I was $%&#ing sick of it by then.

Second of all, I spent over a grand on a dress and hair/makeup and wedding presents for you, and I spent the last eleven hours with you, following you around, standing up beside you, taking pictures with you... and you can't give me a 45-minute meal seated with my husband?

For me it wasn't even about not knowing anyone. My husband is a social butterfly and becomes best friends with whoever sits next to him, without fail. I knew the other bridesmaids. It was that this whole fiasco was about love and celebrating marriage, and I felt like my marriage was getting stomped on. Every single other couple there was seated together except for us.

The only time a head table is acceptable is if your entire BP is single and won't be bringing +1s, or if you have a head table where their SOs/+1s are seated with them.

View Quoted Comment YES to this!!

View Quoted Comment Well said!! Head tables feel so selfish to me! What about your wedding party? Do you not care if they have a good time too?!

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This 100%%%

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Agreed. I've been at a Head Table where everyone (10 ppl) got up before dinner, and I'm like "b*&^%, I want to eat my steak". I will not waste my food when it's my turn.

Before WW, I have never seen a head table. Every wedding I've been to has had a sweetheart table so that the wedding party can sit with their SOs at other tables. As a guest, I would not be thrilled with sitting apart from my husband if he were in a wedding and I was not. Yes, I can make small talk and muscle my way through dinner, but it's still not enjoyable to me. I'd rather allow my guests' experiences lead the way with this one and have wedding party members sit with their SOs.

Im very lucky in that none of my bridal party have significant others that we dont know well. We are having everyone, including SOs at the head table. Since we have a small enough bridal party (6 total) having everyone at a long table together (14 including FH &I) will work our well.

If we had a larger bridal party OR if there were plus ones that my FH and i didnt know, i think we would have gone the route of a sweethearts table.

We're doing a sweetheart table at ours for a few reasons,

1) most of our wedding party has a significant other NOT in the wedding party, so we want them to sit by their SO.

2) my MOH is a single mom, and I was in a wedding where, even though I was a single mom with no SO there, I had to sit at the head table and my 5 year old son was at a random table with people I had only met once and it made me VERY uncomfortable, I would never do that to my MOH and her kids.

3) I want to be able to just have that brief period with just my new husband before we're constantly chatting and or dancing.

4) we've had our wedding party with us, all day, away from their SOs, let them enjoy the evening with their partner.

I'm not a fan of head tables when they split up couples. It's isolating for the SO/+1, especially if they don't know anyone else at the wedding. The B+G are enjoying their first meal as husband and wife, why wouldn't you let your partnered guests enjoy a meal together too at something as romantic as a wedding?

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Same with us! Everyone in our wedding party and their SOs are close, so having them all sit at the head table, or splitting them up isn't a problem for anyone. We don't have a large wedding party either, so having everyone at the table together won't really be that bad. The only way we'd put SO's at separate tables, is if FH's groomsmen (all brothers) bring their kids. If that happens, then we won't have room and have no choice but to split.

I see what everyone's saying about not splitting couple's up if they don't know the other guests there, but in cases like yours and mine, I think they're very doable!