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Just Said Yes August 2016

Help! Anyone already have an Engagement Party?

Shannon, on July 25, 2014 at 3:02 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 19

Hi there!

I just recently got engaged, and I want to have an engagement party, but I don't even know what to do! I have never been to an engagement party, and I just recently heard of it. What exactly is an engagement party? Do I make a registry? Who should we invite? What kinds of things do we do? How long should we plan it for? What type of food should we have?

If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!

Shannon

19 Comments

Latest activity by ~*World Of Whimsical*~, on July 29, 2014 at 7:48 AM
  • Zzil
    Master October 2014
    Zzil ·
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    You really aren't supposed to plan your own. If you decide to, wait until you get your wedding guest list together. You can't invite anyone that you aren't inviting to the wedding.

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  • JCB
    Master September 2015
    JCB ·
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    Engagement parties were originally for the two families to meet. I've never been to one, nor did I have one because our immediate families already know each other since we have been together for 4 years and live close to family... so I can't help with any of your other questions. You can have whatever food you want Smiley smile

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  • MrsDean
    Master April 2015
    MrsDean ·
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    We're having an engagement party to celebrate our engagement with our friends. I'm so excited and anything wedding related! Neither his family nor mine live locally so they won't get a chance to meet until the wedding. But to answer your question, I've never been to an Engagement party so I can't answer your question on what to include, etc. I didn't know until I got on WW that guests are expected to bring gifts to an engagement party. We're specifically stating in the invitation NO GIFTS. Their presence is the only gift we need.

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  • Emily381
    Devoted October 2016
    Emily381 ·
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    I'm planning an engagement party because our two families have never actually met, and some people in the bridal party have never met. Mine is really just a casual get together just so everyone can meet, mingle, and get comfortable with each other before doing things like Bachelor/Bachelorette parties, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and (of course) the wedding. I am sending out formal invitations, but that's really just because we're having the best man make the food and he won't follow through if there's nothing to kick him in the pants and get him on task. I didn't know gifts were expected either, and I didn't put no gifts on the invitation (oops!). Sorry I have no advice on that aspect, I'm really just stumbling through this myself as well.

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  • Shamika
    VIP August 2014
    Shamika ·
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    I been to an engagement party maybe 5 years ago. It's basically a party you throw to celebrate your engagement. You do not create a registry for an engagement party - I believe it's more of a celebration not a gift giving event like a bridal shower.

    In my opinion, an engagement party seems like another unnecessary expense - unless you're doing it bc both families don't really know each other and you want everyone to meet before the wedding.

    I guess the kind of food you have would depend upon what you can afford. You can have an engagement BBQ which would be cute and fairly inexpensive.

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  • Piecesofadream
    Master June 2014
    Piecesofadream ·
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    We had one, but friends of ours planned it for us. It was very small with just our bridal party and our parents. It was in their backyard with a very nice but simple menu.

    To answer some of your questions, usually an engagement party is a celebration of the couples engagement and sometimes serves as a way for families and friends to meet if they haven't already done so. You should limit your guest list to only people who will be invited to your wedding, so you should have a good idea of your budget and guest list before planning the engagement party. I would not suggest a registry as gifts are usually not expected for an engagement party.

    You don't HAVE to have one, if someone is nice enough to host one for you, great, but don't go out your way to have one.

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  • MelissaC
    Master January 2015
    MelissaC ·
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    We had one. My FMIL hosted it, but my FH and I chose the guest list from our main guest list and sent out the invites with everyone RSVPing to my FSIL. We just had dinner at a restaurant that we chose. You can make a small registry, but that info is only supposed to be spread by word of mouth for an engagement party. We didn't make a registry so we didn't expect any gifts. A few people brought us champagne and a little bit of money, which was opened when we were alone at our house. We had a small afterparty for our BP back at our house afterwards for anyone who wanted to come over. It was pretty awesome.

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  • kaylarae
    Master April 2015
    kaylarae ·
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    We had a brunch for our engagement party hosted by my mom.

    Don't plan your own

    Don't register - it's not for gifts, just a celebration

    Only invite those who will be invited to the wedding. We had 40 people all family and close friends

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  • Christina
    Devoted April 2014
    Christina ·
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    We did at cookout at my parents house. It was mainly for our family and friends to meet each other. No registry. My parents and MOH invited everyone.

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  • Annie & Javi
    Master October 2015
    Annie & Javi ·
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    We're having one, its basically just to celebrate our engagement and for our families to meet. We are only inviting those who will definitely be invited to the wedding.

    In my family is customary to give gifts at engagement parties but from a past post I learned this seems to be a regional thing. Anyway, we created a registry for ours.

    My FIL's have a huge estate where the party will be hosted, FH and I are involved in the planning but mostly because it will be a larger event (inviting 100 guests) and there will be a lot of DIY set-up involved. We, along with our parents, agreed a family friendly affair that is more laid back would be best. We are going to try to keep things as classy as possible with set-up and decor, we'll have a couple of white tents, tables with floor length linens, runners, centerpieces, etc., we'll serve buffet style food which will be a mixture of American and Puerto Rican fare and will have limited alcohol (beer, wine, sangria and a champagne punch). However since its family friendly and kids will be invited we are having swimming and lawn games.

    .....

    I was engaged a few years ago, my ex and I had an engagement party in our honor, it was a brunch at a restaurant, buffet style, no alcohol, no kids, about 25 people in total, gifts were involved, it lasted four hours and was pretty boring.

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  • S
    Just Said Yes August 2016
    Shannon ·
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    Thanks everyone!

    I have a better idea of what to do now. We will probably have a cookout at my fiancé's parents house because our families haven't met yet. My mom has met his parents, but that's it. Smiley smile

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  • Arianna
    Dedicated September 2014
    Arianna ·
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    My FH's parents threw us an engagement party and we invited pretty much the whole guest list (given it's a small wedding of 60 and most is family). I think we had about 50 people there and there were passed appetizers all night and a bar set up. We had set up our registry early (but obviously didn't advertise it!). We did get a number of gifts - a few from the registry and then some cash. It was an awesome time for everyone to get to know each other and any occasion is reason for a party...IMO. It was so much fun and really formally introduced to our engagement to our entire extended family and close friends. Do it!!

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  • J & S
    Devoted August 2015
    J & S ·
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    My future in laws threw our engagement party. It was at a nice restaurant and only for close family members and friends (50). The party went so fast because we were mingling with everyone and I was trying to give everyone an equal amount of time and attention. We did not register, but we were blessed with generous gifts. Overall wonderful experience Smiley smile

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  • JS081615
    Super August 2015
    JS081615 ·
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    We had an engagement party; two main reasons - 1. we knew we were having a very long engagement so it was a way to break everything up without people thinking we forgot about them and didn't invite them to the wedding or anything crazy like that and 2. because even though we've been together almost 8 years, our extended families have never really met. We had a small backyard party, burgers and hot dogs, very casual. Our families got to meet and mingle and we got to re-tell our engagement story, which I will never pass up telling Smiley tongue

    We were not expecting gifts but almost everyone brought a gift of some sort. We made the guest list and my parents hosted. Every engagement party that I have been to has been the same so far.

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  • S
    Just Said Yes August 2016
    Shannon ·
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    Our families haven't really met before, so that's why I wanted to have one. That's the same with us, we are going to be engaged for 2 years before we get married. Thanks for the input!

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  • MrsLaguna
    VIP April 2015
    MrsLaguna ·
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    I just recently decided to do one, its not really an engagement party although I am calling it that and yes I am planning my own its all of the bridal party and some friends hanging out at a bar/lounge so we could all meet and have a fun night. I got engaged last September and we are in August now so its either now or never this month if it doesn't happen then I won't have one because I feel a year after is way too late.

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  • Kae.eli
    Devoted June 2024
    Kae.eli ·
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    Ours is in a couple of weeks, and it will be just a little cookout at my parents, so our families can meet one another. We do have a registry; however, it was only created because both of our families are big gift givers and people kept asking. I think it varies. Some people are okay with it, others say that it's tacky.

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  • adilou
    Expert June 2015
    adilou ·
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    Congrats on the engagement! I had an engagement party right after we got engaged (FH's family lives in NC and mine in OH) so it was a nice chance to meet.

    Make sure that you only invite people that you know will absolutely be invited to the wedding (we got excited and invited everyone and it is turning into a bit of an issue now that we are in the thick of planning and finalizing our guest list!).

    No registry. We put "the only gift we ask is for your company" on our invitations. We got quite a few cards and we did receive some checks and giftcards - but people raved about how classy it was to do that and not expect anything - it was pure celebration of the engagement. We did have a cash bar though (we hosted it at a nice irish pub)

    we had it potluck style where family members brought appetizers and desserts and i made cupcakes. FFIL gave a speech - and then we partied the rest of the night. It was alot of fun.

    Don't worry about the long engagement either - i did it 2 years before our planned wedding Smiley smile

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  • ~*World Of Whimsical*~
    VIP November 2015
    ~*World Of Whimsical*~ ·
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    We did a low-key affair for our family and close friends. We nabbed up a pavilion at a local park, decorated it, and had burgers and dogs with all the fixin's, and my mom did her famous baked beans and cole slaw. We served sodas and water to drink, and I decorated the tables simply with balloons with pretty weights in our wedding colors, and did place settings with yummy cupcakes from Publix. Total expenditure was about $300 including invitations ($10 at Party City for 100), and because the weather didn't really hold out like we planned and someone passed away within FH's church family, not everyone we invited that said they would be there showed up, so we ended up with plenty of extras (including a 1/4 sheet cake that wasn't even cut) that I used the next day to celebrate with FH's church community group.

    People say it's "not proper etiquette" to throw your own engagement party, but with so many couples paying for their own weddings, and a lengthy list of reasons why parents are becoming less and less willing to foot the bill for weddings (namely the economy), it's really the norm nowadays. We are paying for our own wedding, and neither sets of parents are contributing anything monetarily to help, so had we not done our own, we wouldn't have had the chance to get our WP and the rest of our friends and family together. One of my bridesmaids did bring us a gift, but that's only because she's crazy anal about gift giving (lol). Most people don't consider this a gift-giving occasion. Activities are up to you, really. We just had music playing in the background and everyone sat around and just mingled and conversed, and some awesome friendships were made because of us bringing folks together.

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