Help! Can't narrow down date/venue for a wedding reception

For one thing California is one of the most expensive places to get married so if you are try to stay on such a tight budget that might not be the best place to get host a wedding. Also it would be extremely rude not to allow guests for family/friends if they are in a relationship, but not married. Anyone in a relationship should be allowed to have their significant other attend. You can't nicely ask someone to come celebrate your relationship then turn around and ignore theirs just because they aren't married. If you don't want to invite cousins then don't but don't be surprised if you get push back from aunts and uncles who are expecting their children to be invited especially if anyone of them are children.

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Thanks so much for your input, Veronica.

Totally agree with you on the invitation to folks in relationship but not married. I was thinking more about the younger kids who are in a relationship (college) and not serious ones versus those who are in long-term relationships though not officially married. Would it still be rude to have cousins not bring their girlfriend/boyfriends who are in dating phase?

On the cousins themselves, there are no children - just youth/young adults. Aside from running up the guest list so high, I am honestly really concerned for dragging everyone across the country to San Diego and having uncles/aunts pay for their kids (young adults) - I just really want us to have a reasonable celebration without burdening us financially and without burdening our loved ones financially and also with hassle of travel, take off work, etc.

Thanks again for your insight.

Dela

View Quoted Comment Yes anyone in a relationship should be allowed to have their significant other attend. And while I totally get trying to save money by not having a large guest list you also need to be a good host and allow couples to attend as such. I met my husband in college at 22 and I wouldn't have been happy if I wasn't invited to a wedding with him just because we were a youger couple at the time.

I fully agree with Veronica about inviting all couples. As far as date/venue, you might be able to get close to $10k for 40 people if you use a venue through parks and rec. dept such as a community center. Also, you might want to consider brunch as it is half the cost of hosting dinner (plus alcohol is minimized with having only mimosas and maybe Bloody Marys). Finally, you don't have a date until you have a venue. Most places are booked up through 2023, so you will need to go with what is available. Best wishes!

I definitely agree with inviting all serious significant others. A close friend of mine got married a few years ago and only allowed plus ones for married couples. At the time, my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I had been together 8 years (twice as long as her and her husband). She put me at a singles table. To this day, all I remember about her wedding was the awkwardness and boredom that came with being at a wedding without my significant other where I didn't know anyone. Please don't do this to your guests!