Help! Changing my mind on a photographer. i feel bad :(

We had to change out a vendor. It wasn't a big deal for the vendor or for us. I would just reach out to them.

Just throwing this out there: Have you considered maybe having two photographers? If you really liked their styles, it would be a shame to let one go entirely unless you absolutely have to.

The benefit of having two photographers is more coverage of your day. And having one concentrate more on the groom and guests during the "preparation" and the other more on you.

The cons would be costs (if budget is an issue) and "competition" if they don't get along.

Some alternative routes:

You could also tell one photographer (maybe the original) that you want your engagement shots (or other occasion) with them instead.

Not a "popular" option, but some couples have done a photo shoot in their wedding attire at a national park before or after their wedding. It is less stress, and you get some beautiful shots too.


Regardless, I would reach out to the original photographer as a courtesy. Do explain that the wedding planning has made you anxious, and you haven't known how to best handle it all.

(You wouldn't be the first one).

If your decision is to keep them, explain which route you want to go, and be prepared to make the booking deposit (at minimum) that day. Give them your contact information and the best times for them to contact you.

If your decision is to not keep them, graciously thank them for their patience, and give them a brief explanation as to why you won't be going forward. For example:

-On second thought, you hadn't observed your fiancé's opinion, and when you did, you felt it was necessary to compromise with how your day should be captured.


Side note on a "lesson learned" when booking a DJ that can be applied to photography and hiring other vendors:

I interviewed multiple DJs, and most of the time had my fiancé listen to me speak with them and provide some input (I am more familiar with the wedding industry having worked in it briefly). Having to make cuts was hard, but two of them were out of town and overall didn't have as much experience as two more local DJs.

The final cut came down to a communication. One DJ had over a week in delayed communication, and then when I dropped a line again, their response just rubbed me the wrong way. When I showed my fiancé the response, he felt the same way I did. Mind you, I understand that people have emergencies and events, and I do want a vendor that can be honest with me.

I booked the other DJ instead, as they were more communicative, and very professional.

Not long after I booked the other DJ, the original reached out again. I kept my communication short, thanking them for their time, but ultimately we booked someone else after putting the decision off for a while. No further explanations.

At the end of the day, the harsh reality is that you are making business contracts with vendors, and they are binding, and both parties can be held liable. It is not easy, but you should be discerning, and very selective. Don't be afraid to voice concerns. Learn to tactfully say, "No" and not elaborate much further. Should a situation arise where a vendor falls through and you may have to talk to one you initially turned down, they will definitely note if you were polite and pleasant, and may still be willing to do business.

Elly has a lot of great suggestions, the one thing I would be careful with is to read the contract, as 2 photographers can be great (typically 2 would mean they work for the same company), mine for example says he is the sole photographer hired unless he chooses to bring a partner along if needed/requested. He also has a list of videographers he recommends and enjoys working with since he only does photos. You wouldn't want the original photographer to feel like the other is babysitting him or his photos are backup since you have the one you love there. Plus, during photos, you have to decide who is going to shoot fam and bridal party group photos since it would be a bit redundant and time consuming for each to take those photos. But if both photographers are 100% on board with 2 photographers, you can totally go for it, you'll just have to set clear boundaries on who takes what photos so they're not on top of each other the whole evening. I like the idea of having your original photographer switch to bridal portraits, engagement photos, rehearsal dinner, etc...

I'm not sure I would keep the original photographer in the loop until you have made your final decision. To me, it would signal that you're updating me to let me know that I am now the backup until you find your top choice, and then if you decide to stick with the original one, then it's confirmation that your top choice wasn't available. I would get with the second photographer to see their costs, date availability, contract, and whatever questions you have. Once you confirm the second is available, you can then make the decision on if you want to book. At that point I would let the first photographer be the first to know you final decision so they can re-open that date for other couples.

Also, don't feel bad about changing your mind, they'll understand and in the wedding business they know things change, plus since you're giving notice over a year in advance, I'm 1000% sure whoever you don't book will find another booking for that date since photographers are so in demand and booking so far out.