Help! Family drama now considering eloping

I am going to respond in chucks.

1. I got engaged in August and she decided to schedule her wedding reception in April 2021.

- Why exactly is this a problem? A ton of brides have had to move their receptions so I guess I don't understand what is wrong with her planning her wedding reception for April.

2. She then ended up telling me the day we were getting engaged out of spite.

- This was awful of her to do and completely understandable why this would upset you. She had no right to do this.

3. While on vacation my dad got too drunk and ended up telling me he is “worried about my future because he feels like my fiancé doesn’t have dreams or aspirations” he also said that I owe all my success to him.

- Just want to play devil's advocate for a moment. Have you consider he is genuinely concerned about your future? I don't know you or your fiancé, but finances are very important in a relationship that can cause a lot of stress. So it is best to have goals established for your future. Does your fiancé have goals?

4. My dad forced me to apologize, he is really controlling and can never be wrong. I apologized in hopes to be able to move on.

- Not sure why you had to apologize, but if you dad really is controlling then you should probably distance yourself from him.

5. Fast forward to this past weekend it turns out my sister is pregnant and is due 10 days before my wedding. So now she has her reception and baby all in the same year I am supposed to be getting married.

- You can't expect your sister to put her life on hold so rather than being upset she is pregnant you should be happy for her. I am currently pregnant and so is my sister. We are due three weeks apart. I never would've thought we would have children so close in age, but it has been great going through this experience with someone I'm so close to because I always have someone to talk to. Also, again why does it matter if she is having her reception the same year as your wedding? You get one day not an entire year.

6. I feel like the three most important people my sister dad and mom aren’t even happy for me.

- Based on what you've said, I'm not sure why you think they aren't happy for you. Your post sounds more like you are upset because your sister isn't putting her life on hold just because you are getting married. She has every right to have her reception and a baby whether you are getting married this year. Also if your dad is as controlling as you claim then you should really distance yourself from him rather than focusing so much on how he reacts to your wedding. As for your mom not sure what she did wrong since you didn't even mention her in your post. I think you need to relax and realize people aren't ever going to be as excited for your wedding as you are and that other people have lives and shouldn't cancel everything they want to do just because you are getting married. My brother, sister, and brother-in-law all got married the same year as me, but I didn't let that stop me from having the wedding of my dreams.

From your post, it seems you are far too worried about other people, and your wish/ need to be the center of attention. Usually a proposal is an important and private thing between two people. Why was she made part of it? If she wasn't, she could not have told you. And would never have been expected to be there. And why you think you get more than a day or a week for your wedding, I don't know. Other people's lives go on, marriages and babies, on their schedule, with no need to give you any period of time. Perhaps you really would be better starting with a true elopement. Just the two of you, and go on a honeymoon and focus on just the two of you. No one else. Establish your relationship without seeing or worrying about other people. It can be a very stress free and exciting way to get a good start in married life.

You have every right to be upset that she ruined your proposal, and that your father is behaving so rudely.

Those are valid and should be dealt with in therapy.

Pregnancy, however, is not just like flipping a switch. Your sister did not time her pregnancy to be near your wedding, that was just sheer dumb luck. For all you know, they've been trying for quite some time... or this first one just stuck. (And it sounds like she only JUST found out she's pregnant. This is a very dangerous time for her.)

You get a day.

Sometimes, life really likes to remind you of that.

I would probably just elope if I were in your position. What exactly is your dad concerned about with your fiancé

I know if this happened to me I would probably elope, but only if i was okay with not having the original wedding you planned. As long as you don't have regrets. Or even elope and have a few people (friends) you are close with there. Anything to put you under less stress

Your sister spoiling the surprise of your engagement and your dad’s behavior aren’t ok. Her moving her reception because of COVID and getting pregnant, however, have nothing to do with you and it isn’t fair of you to expect that she’d just not get pregnant because you’re getting married. She didn’t intentionally get pregnant to be due 10 days before your wedding. Pregnancy doesn’t work that way. Those things don’t equal her not being happy for you.