My fiancé and I met quite a few years ago and really enjoyed one another's company. I'm 40 and he's 36. We are both teachers and avid runners. I had taught with his sister for a number of years at the beginning of my career. Four years ago, when I needed a date for an event, I asked his sister if she minded if I invited him. She passed along my number and we began to see one another on a regular basis. Shortly after we began dating, his parents and sister told him that they did not approve of us dating, being that I was a divorced single mother. I know they don't care for the fact that I am 4 years older and that I am of Mexican descent. They feel I have too much baggage and that he could do much better. As hard as it was not to have their approval, we decided to continue the relationship.
About a year and a half ago, we moved in together. Three months ago we were engaged. Our relationship is wonderful. We enjoy doing everything together, communicate well, and our arguments are very few and healthy.
However, his family still does not approve of our relationship in any way. My 11-year old daughter and I have never been invited to family holidays or for dinner. His father and sister are refusing to attend our wedding. Yesterday his sister threw his mom a birthday dinner and invited a bunch of family and friends, including my fiancé, but left out my daughter and I. My fiancé chose to attend, which made me feel sad and disappointed. I do feel like he is condoning the behaviors that allow them to treat us as outcasts. We had a conversation about it and he understands my point of view, but still stands by his decision.
For those of you who have gone through this similar situation, what advice can you offer? How have you handled this in a healthy and productive way?
