Help!! i am little bit addicted to wedding planning. Any tips to calm down? And to stop my future in-laws from taking over the wedding?

I was addicted to and here I am 4 days and feel like I’m missing something. If you don’t slow down you might feel even more overwhelmed then you already do. Trust me it’s hard and I’m sure you know already but really think about decisions but don’t over analyze. Honestly I specifically left my FH mom out of the planning. She is a control freak and will take over too much. If it’s something you’re afraid of happening to you then set the boundaries now. Have FH set boundaries and stick too it. Have consequences if needed. If you’re looking for just some help then say hey I’m doing the planning and just want you to help out when I ask or if I give you a specific task. Give her something to focus on and maybe she’ll be wrapped up in that. Good luck

Is she paying for the wedding? If she is contributing, then yes, it's common to involve her. If she is not, then she has no say in anything and I would stop telling her things immediately. Whenever she asks if you've decided on something, tell her that you're considering different options and haven't made up your mind. Or that you want it to be a surprise. Make sure to get FH on board, so that he doesn't babble - chances are, he's used to her behaviour and has other ways to deal with her.


As for the planning addiction, it will pass. I was mad about planning everything for the first two months or so, made a power points, excel spreadsheet and Pinterest boards by the handful and then it calmed down. Now we're three months our and the planning fatigue is setting in.

As others have said, I think you get super excited at first but things will calm down. I got almost all of our vendors done within 6 months of getting engaged for a 2 year engagement, got burnt out and now have to get started again because we're a year out. Putting together a timeline really helped me calm myself down and have an idea of what could wait a while.

As far as moms go, if she's helping you pay then you'll probably have to give some control up. If she's not, then its your fiancé's job to talk to her and reel her in a bit. I originally had no problem sharing things with my mom and FH's mom, but his mom started lying and creating drama to get her way, so she's been cut off from any decision making and just gets to learn about stuff when it's 100% finalized. My mom is just a pain and super negative so I've also stopped asking for her opinions and only tell her finalized details as well. It's still early, so she might just be excited as well, but it's much better to set those boundaries early and stick to them. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment What did you make PowerPoints about?

View Quoted Comment I did one for my seamstress regarding the dress I wanted, and another one for decor... But I abandoned that one for a "specialized" Pinterest board but the spreadsheets have been a gift that keeps on giving, especially the one we've made to keep track of guests.

I too was super addicted to it in the beginning... now i'm so over it I can't get motivated to do anything! It's just the initial excitement and will probably pass.

OMG I totally understand. I had a 17 month engagement and within 4 months I had 50% planned. One thing that helped me and my bank account was The Knot where I did my wedding website. It had tasks by month based on when your wedding is, that way I could focus on what had to be accomplished that month and start to spread out payments. As for FMIL issues, I'd talk to your FH and see if he can talk to her and set some boundaries, or if that is not an option and she must be involved you can give her small tasks or redirect. For the wedding, she is in charge of picking linens, chargers, plates, silverware, designing floral placement for tables (we picked exact flowers ourselves), and helping her son figure out groomsmen gifts. Basically all the things I listed above are things that she can do any way she wants and it'll still have the same end result of being beautiful.

I was SUPER excited and addicted the first three months of being engaged. I was planning so much, but then it started getting overwhelming and I gave up numerous times. Of course I kept getting back into it, but it lasted like two weeks and then I stopped lol. I kept asking my husband to help me and he did, but the times where I really needed him I felt alone. So, I had to have a heart to heart conversation with him. And thank goodness for my husband's cousin who stepped in and helped us a BUNCH! She made sure we got our sh** together. He thought she was annoying, but she really got him going to get what needed to be done haha. I was so over all of the planning lol! BUT! Our wedding day turned out PERFECT! It was everything I wanted and more

On another note, if she is paying then she should have a say out of respect. But definitely draw a hard line where it needs to be especially accepting X amount of money. It's normal for her to be just as excited, but at the end of the day it's YOUR special day