Help... I don't want a gift registry.

Simple, just say your not registered anywhere.

Yeah, i really wanted the same thing. I wish I could of picked categories out of what we wanted/needed and the people could then pick what they wanted.

We aren't having a shower (after much debate and rushing to register). I have 2 boxes sitting in the living room right now (my aunt and my grandmother got us something off the registry).

You could always have a themed or around the clock shower so that way guests essentially have a "room" of items to pick from if you arent registered anywhere! And then it won't look cash grabby to some people

Yes, I'm trying to think of a good way to get the word out of our color schemes and the types of things we need without a registry. I think registries are only convenient to a point anyway. I know people who still received 7 cutting boards! Haha! I personally do not like shopping for registries either. Its not long before I start thinking, "They want someone to buy THAT? for HOW much money?" Lol. Could just be me though.

The reality is that some extended relatives, and even close friends will want to get you the perfect gift and have no idea where to start. They would appreciate the guidance of a registry.

I hate when people don't register.

No advice here, sorry!

I'd like to maybe make a profile on a wedding site and have a place to give general guidelines of things we could use.

By not registering, you are pretty much asking for cash. Maybe the way your fmil sees it. May be the way a lot of people see it. Try to see things from a guests prospective, maybe.

I think it can depend on the cultural expectations of the people involved. In the rural Michigan community I'm from, it is actually not that typical to have a registry. (Maybe because department stores are pretty out-of-the-way to get to) I know more people from my area who didn't have them than who did. It is just as common for people to either ask or guess what you need.

Oh! I just thought of something that might help you. When my brother went off to college my mom made a pintrest board of ideas and color schemes and themes, so people would know what he already had for his appartment. That way if someone wanted to get him a gift they could get him something that matched what he had.

My FH and I have lived together for years. We are the "it's about time you guys got married" couple. So we didn't register. What we really want is s honeymoon, so we have told our family's and are having them spread the word. I think it's better to be straight forward and honest, than have something in the back of your cupboard that you'll never use, except maybe when the gifter visits.

In the olden days, before computers (I know Im dating myself) you would put your style (i.e. country, modern, contemporary) and your colors scheme for each room i.e. bathroom -blue, kitchen - yellow etc in the shower invitation. If you have a wedding website maybe you could put that info on there? Does anyone else remember that? Lol :-)

My mom says registry used to be just so people would know what your color/style choices were for your home, and to pick out a fine China pattern lol. Maybe instead of registry for specific things, just pick out color schemes for the kitchen and bedroom, and an every day dinnerware collection? You can put some general guidelines on your wedding website and just spread it word of mouth...be prepared to get multiple blenders and crockpots though. Without a registry you'll probably get a lot of duplicates.

That's fine, you don't need to have a registry. But don't be surprised if some people get you gifts that you don't want/like because they had no idea what to get you.

If you decide not to have one, then just make sure that those that are throwing any showers for you are letting their guests know your theme and needs. My aunt is throwing me a shower at the end of the month that is kitchen themed. She noted on the invitation to bring kitchen related gifts, a favorite recipe and a favorite spice or rub. I think that is a really cute idea and easy way to stock your kitchen.

I get what your saying but as a guest I hate when people don't register. I was invited to my friends shower and wedding this summer and there was no registry and I was so lost because I didn't know what to get. It was stressful - I'm sorry but I don't have time to try to figure out what to get you. Also, she got a lot of duplicates at the shower .. It's easier for your guests if you register.

I attended a wedding for friends who are currently missionaries in latin america, just to set the stage. They also did not want gifts and had a very low key but big wedding. They sent out an email explaining they didn't want gifts but if the guests wanted to give a gift, which they understand, there was a google doc link to suggestions. and they asked people to check off as they bought something. They said they love mismatched dishes so anything you gave would be loved. they listed some normal household items you could check off like '8 plates' then also added things like 'money for the honeymoon' and 'money for children's college fund'. so, this is just an out of the box idea to share with you.

I would be offended if someone gave me a google doc that said children college fund/asked me for money for me to cross off, but that's just me.

@OP If you don't want to register for gifts that's 100% fine, but also expect everyone to give you cash. honestly I wouldn't have a showeri if you don't want to do a registry... I've been to one shower without a registry and all the guests were commenting/complaining on how awkward it was to not have a registry. They got a lot of candles and picture frames. Who needs 40 picture frames idk but I'm sure there house has lovely wedding photos all over.

I'm sorry. The "perfect" gift is still money! LOL!

Not registering isn't asking for cash. Asking for cash is asking for cash. Not registering is not asking for anything. To me it's actually the best way to convey to your guests that their presence is enough and there is no need to buy a gift - which is the premise behind the don't include registry info with the invitation (which I don't agree with by the way). To me it's incongruent and maybe even a bit hypocritical.

But anyway, I digress and am way off topic from OP's original question. I think it's ok not to register. I don't want to register either. I just don't feel like going through the process of scanning all the gifts. I'm 3 months out and still haven't registered.