Help! I think my engagement ring isn't durable :(

It might be made of silver rather than gold if it scratches and dents easily. Is the stone itself getting damaged?

ETA: I think you have the totally right attitude regarding this, (that your concerns are based on long term durability and not the amount he spent, for example) and your FH will hopefully understand that it isn't that you don't like the ring - you just want the symbol of your love/marriage to hold up for all the years you will be together!

Please don't wait to lose the center stone before you tell him.

I think it's Sterling Silver and Cubic Zirconia. That's why I think maybe it is not lasting a great deal, I read Sterling Silver is not meant for regular use? I haven't had it appraised but that's what it looks like. It has a sterling silver 925 mark.

If the stones are scratched or damaged, I would definitely inquire about the quality. But metals can scratch and dent easily depending. I have a platinum ring, very durable, and have one minor dent and other signs of wear on the bottom that you can only see if inspecting closely. It's also begun to mold to my finger on the bottom. I've had it for 5 months now. The sapphire stone is still beautiful and perfect.

Silver is very soft and can scratch easily. High gold can scratch and dent more easily than a cheaper gold (18k is much softer than 10k because 10k is an alloy). And if it's plated it will damage more easily than if it's solid. Palladium and platinum can dent but they are fluid so they are more durable.

ETA: I see your update. CZs are super strong and shouldn't scratch or chip. But sterling silver is not great for wedding rings since those are typically every day wears.

Thank you @Van Pear ! The center stone is a tiny bit damaged on the side, not very noticeable though. That is what worried me the most when I saw it, I understand what you said about silver, that's probably the reason why then.

Few things...

1) I would get an appraisal done on the ring as soon as possible so you know exactly what you are dealing with in terms of stone and band material. This may have been done when FH bought the ring. I know when my fiancé purchased my ring they did an appraisal right then and there. So this maybe already done.

2) insure your engagement ring. If anything else happens, you will be covered. This cannot be done until it is appraised though, so I would make that my top priority.

Unfortunately CZ tends to cloud up over time, as is not meant to be a forever stone. Luckily, they're cheap to replace!

Have you said anything to him about it not being durable, make sure you express that you really like the ring.

@Van Pear white gold is plated with rhodium specifically to give it more strength. So solid is not always more durable.

My white gold ring has VERY minor scratches on the bottom, and I've been wearing it 100% of the time for 13 months.

ETA: I realize now that you were probably talking about something that is a different base metal plated with gold

Gold scratches, the stone shouldn't be scratched. Also most diamonds have inclusions that can look like scratches, cloudy or dark spots.

@Chinique Thank you! I haven't said anything about the durability yet! I already told him I really like it though.

@Future MRS Huber Thank you, I will ask him if it was appraised already.

@Anne, yes sorry. I meant yellow gold plated. I wasn't really thinking about white gold! You are correct, rhodium plate is durable, it's also done to give the gold that colour. It does wear down and needs to be redone over time to maintain the "white" gold.

@MNBride it is a CZ I think, the damage I see in the center stone is a very minor dent on one side, but still I think it's odd because I have only worn it for a week!

@Sara&L Thank you for the advice!! I think I will tell him a bit later on and look into options with him! I don't want him to feel that I didn't like it either

I had the same thing happen to me. We decided to have the ring appraised for insurance purposes, HAVE IT INSURED!! The jeweler talked to us about durability and cost. It was already bending and scratching and I only had it 4 months. My options were to get two bands to make E ring more durable. But then the rings would tarnish different.. and be quit expensive. Also looked into having the ring set into stronger metal, same setting just gold instead of sterling. That was also quite costly. I then decided to let us think on it. I can always get a silver band and it would be fine. My right was appraised at $990. And Jewelers Mutual was great about claims. I work a desk job.. nothing hard labor. But just normal daily chores was causing damage. Laundry, dishes, cooking I constantly was taking it off. I had put in 5 claims in just a few months for repair. That's when we decided we needed another option. My ring spent more time in the Jewelers then on my finger. Sterling silver is not meant to be put in a setting. I was explained this by 4 different jewelers. It's very soft metal. Bands are alittle easier. I still have my original ring but after all the repairs we decided it would be best to find something that would last longer. I think it was great that him and I could make the decision together. We both went and picked it out together. It was special just the same.

I don't think you can get a silver and cz ring insured... A nice one is only about $75...

I picked out my engagement ring in silver. I was dead set on it. FH tried to tell me but I still insisted cause that's what i like. Anyways....it's been 8 months and its still super sparkly but i have a lot of wear and scratches. I have to clean it every week. Sometimes twice. I talked with FH about it and I've looked all over to find one with the same style and setting in white gold cause I'm in love with everything else about it. I spoke with a jeweler and after the wedding we are having an exact replica of the ring made in white gold with moissanite. This might be an option for you. Moissanite is slightly cheaper since they are lab created diamonds

Tell him you like the ring, but as the materials aren't holding up, you need to exchange it for a similar style ring in "forever" materials.

It's hard to explain to someone that it's not that you want an expensive ring, but you need to put some money behind it if it's going to last. Hopefully he didn't get swindled thinking it was a nice quality ring and paid a lot for sterling and CZ. Sterling turns my finger green over time.

@HickChick418 Thank you that's really a great idea! I will think about it with my FH.

@AMW Yes! It's exactly that, I don't want something really expensive, just that I would like it to last. I really hope he didn't get swindled. I will talk to him soon.