Help me deal with family not being supportive

Honestly, you can't make people be supportive. What you can do is to have you and your FI plan the wedding you can afford, and send them invitations when you get to that point. And in the mean time, come here for people to be supportive.

Thanks 2d Bride. I just wish my mother had a different perspective. I am the oldest and the first to get married. I talked to a friend yesterday and I told her "I rather have her say 'Lets try and do that ourselves' when we see something than tell me to just forget about it." It brings me down. Right now I am really frozen with the planning.

I understand--my parents probably won't attend. It is ok. I have gotten to the point, if you love me you will be there. If not, oh well. It is about my groom and I and a celebration of our union. My advice--don't talk about it. Plan it, book it, then send out save-the-dates. If WHOEVER can't make it, then don't worry about it. They don't have to be there.

My FH acts like he doesnt care if he family comes but I am worried that on that day he will feel bad cuz I have lots of family and friends here in Utah and all his family is out of town. He has made a few friends since we moved here but not many. I told him I am not changing the date anymore cuz I dont want to keep waiting. But you are right Southern Belle its our celebration.

SHUT HER UP!!!! My wedding is going to have everything a big one does, and my budget is $5,000! If you show her that it can be done, and that yours won't be that expensive hopefully she'll shut up. If not, who cares. Tell your FH to talk to her and tell her that she needs to either get involved in a good way or stay out of it. There's a fab caterer in Utah that we wanted to use in Vegas but she stopped traveling. Let me find her!

shoot let me try to find her....i'll PM you

I understand how it feels to not have a supportive family. One of the reasons my FH and I canceled the big wedding was because of non supportive family. We were asked to postpone it more times than I can count. Asked frequently if this was something we really wanted to do...and yet even though our answers were the same they were still not supportive. A big wedding can be done on smaller budget unless you want to invite a large number of people. When I was doing the big one it was all planned for under $5,000. So you can do it.

May I suggest not postponing because of family? Otherwise you will have someone wanting you to push it back or postponing a lot if they aren't supportive.

Talk about it man. I have her my FH sisters ask him if he is sure and it hurts my feelings cuz they all know me. I told him that we are not postponing anymore. As far as having help I'm gonna have to settle to do it all myself. Alexandra K. send me that info about the caterer. Thanks

Both sides of our parents always just to encourage us to elope - mainly because my own parents are divorced and FH's parents always wish that had just eloped to Reno to escape the MOB from hell! We decided to get married in Vegas (we're in the UK) but we invited all of our friends and family. With it being such a distance away it was entirely down to them whether they came or not, if they don't come we can't hold a grudge but if they did then great! We have about 40 guests coming with us which is amazing! I think you should just do what you want to do, if you take the planning by the reigns and do what you want to do they will all go along with it and will gradually get more and more excited! Promise x

I wouldn't worry about your opinion. It is YOUR day and no one else. Do what makes you happy. It will come out good in the end and it will be worth it. My FH parents thought it would be better off if we got married in the courthouse and my mom something a lot more extravagant, but I am doing it me and my FH's way (since we are paying) and that is all that counts.

Why don;t you get married at a park (free or cheap) and then rent out part of a restaurant? It is very budget friendly and a bunch of other girls on WW have done the exact same thing and it has turned out beautifully. It sound like they will never be happy with your choice so don't try to make them happy. Set a date that works for you and your budget. Do not change it for them. It is your money so spent it on the wedding you want. If they don't show up it is their loss.

Hope this helps and happy planning!

Thanks! I realize that it is MY day but for some reason I cant have that mentality. Being the perfectionist I am, I really thought I would be a bridezilla and not care about no one but me, but when the problems present, I want to accomodate everyone and dont realize I am not accomodating myself. In reality, I am done with changing the date. Like I told my FH, I am holding out on dreams to please people and that cant be. So Sept 10th is the date. Jessica thanks for the advice I am going to look at the park regulations. We are renting out the cultural hall of our church free for the reception, but I didnt want to do the wedding there too cuz its all one room. But the park is a great idea. Thanks to all once again.

That's what we are here for

I'm basically in the same boat as you are Liz M! I won't lie, I'm not getting the wedding of my dreams or what I really wanted my any means( I really really wanted an outdoor wedding but once I found out the cost of renting tables chairs and linens and a tent.. lets just say that was enought to make me decide agaisnt it since we can't afford all that).. but all that matters is that I will have a wedding day to remember and I will marry the man of my dreams. My mom is making it out like we are spending all this money that we don't have. She said i was wasting money when I was making string balls and buying flowers for the pew decor, she said I should just attach a bow to the end of the pews and be done with it, and I don't want the traditional bows.. I want different. and when the materials were bought to make the string balls, I spent a total of about $10, maybe $15 and that made me 10 string balls, and to make more all I need to buy aside from what i have already is more glue and cont

Maybe more corn starch. I've kept track of what we have spent on the wedding so far, and we've spent $150 or $160, and what I have completed with that is: more than half of my centerpieces are done, all the bouquets are done, and about half of my pew decor is done. And when that was spent, we used part of FH's tax return money, as well as just buying stuff here and there from his every week paycheck. I'm doing my wedding I guess you could say very minimal, all the flowers I am doing myself and all of the decor I'm doing all myself.. its practically ALL DIY projects. I know its hard to ignore.. but its best just ignore it. Unless your mom is helping pay then it may be a little harder to ignore. My mom has said countless times to me just go to the courthouse.. and I do not want that, neither does FH.

Oh and I didn't mention that I am doing my wedding for less than $3,000. I realize that in bigger cities that's just not possible, but I'm from and live in a small country town.. in the right area's it can be done.

Just so you can see what I have done with the $150 we've spent so far.. here's pics of my completed DIY projects. All of my flowers are ALL FAKE. I did my bouquet for $25 and all 4 of my girls bouquets for $20. The only thing I have left flower wise for the wedding party and our parents are the boots and corsages. I have 10 string balls made, and 4 all completed with the flower in them so far. Centerpiece wise (which is the 1st picture) I have all of the big mason jars completed, a total of around 40 jars I think, and I nearly have all of the smaller jars filled with rocks (I think I like maybe 10 more to fill at the most), and past that I just need to get some more tea candles to put in them.

Those string balls are so cute... My wedding is gonna have to be alot of DIY but I dont feel motivated since I have no help. I guess I can talk to my MH that the problem continues and maybe she can help out some more.