I need help putting this in perspective so my hurt doesn’t become FH’s hurt.
Backstory: FH is 10 years older than me and hasn’t been married. I have been married before and did all the things like a bridal shower and bachelorette party.
When we discussed bachelor/bachelorette parties, FH didn’t want one. He felt like he wasn’t a young groom, he’s had plenty of time to party before settling down and didn’t need one. When I insisted, he said maybe we can do one together then. I said no- I really felt like he is a guy who plans and does a lot of stuff for other people, and it’s important he has a night of his friends doing something nice to show him they appreciate him. I chose not to do a normal bachelorette party or shower. I had them at 22, got that experience and wanted something quieter and where I wasn’t the center of attention. I went a couple months ago on a wine weekend with my 2 best friends, we did some planning wedding decor and that’s all I needed.Fast forward to tonight. All day I’ve been excited for him. Made sure he ate a hearty meal, reminded him all day to drink water and told him I won’t be upset if he is out late or crashes elsewhere. He was still a bit hesitant about the whole thing- especially because he knew nothing about what was going to happen except that his best man would pick him up. Just before he left he said “just so you don’t worry it’ll be too crazy, I want you to know it isn’t just dudes. Oscar’s wife will be there too.” I was a bit taken aback, but I know one member of his party is a female so I thought maybe she didn’t want to be the only chick. I let it roll and sent him off.After he left I called one of my sisters, who mentioned that she had been invited but declined because it felt weird (her husband was going). Wtf. I text my other sister, whose husband was also invited...she had also been invited. She was under the impression that couples were the norm at the party/all the significant others got an invite. Except me.
I swear to you I have been so supportive and I’ve been looking to forward about hearing about all the fun he had...but now I’m just pretty much feeling like the only kid in class not invited to a birthday party. And as much as I try to remind myself the bride doesn’t go to the bachelor party...considering all the other “non traditional” things that have been thrown out the window, I am feeling really hurt.In 3 weeks I am supposed to stay the weekend at a resort with the people who organized this AND all the people who are out having fun while I’m by myself, and I really don’t know (at this moment) how to react to it all.I do not want to spoil his memories. He deserves the fun. But I am really struggling to not feel really sad about all this.
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