Ya'll. I need help. I am in the process of planning my June wedding and I feel like my mom is making this her wedding. For a little background information - Me and my fiance are paying for small parts of the wedding but my parents are paying for most of it. Together, my mom, my fiance, and myself have planned/booked the photographer, the venue, the videographer, the dress (without my fiance of course), and the guest list (she has added many of her friends that I don't even know). Currently, we are trying to work out booking food and the officiant. I have given my mom a lot of say in the process because her and my father are paying for most of it. But, I'm getting tired of wanting to have small details my way and hearing "I should have more say - I'm the one paying for it!". Let me give you a few scenarios:
1. Me and my fiance Matt thought it would be more special if someone that knew both of us married us. We don't go to the same church, so we were going to ask one of our mutual friends who is a youth pastor to be the officiant. I explained the reasoning for us wanting to ask him and she said that when her and my father got married he didn't know the pastor. And then of course it was "if I'm the person paying for them, I should have say!". I told her I'd pay for the officiant..but she still pitched a fit over it and say that I should just pay for my own wedding. She also blamed my fiance's family when it was my idea.
2. She bought a couple of mother of the bride dresses on sale to wear to my sisters (getting married 3 months before me) and my wedding. Both of our dresses are a champagne/off white color. Both of the dresses she bought were champagne/off white and she claims to have bought them in the bridal section where you would find mother of the bride dresses. I'm sorry, but they look NOTHING like MOB dresses...these are out of season wedding dresses full of lace and tulle. But, when my sister and I said something to her about it, she was mad at us.
3. She hates my wedding colors because green, burgundy, and golds are not your typical summer wedding colors. But, seeing as we are getting married at a winery, I thought they would be beautiful..and its what me and my fiance liked.
4. Food. In trying to save money I have expressed that I would like to keep it simple with BBQ and chicken with sides instead of doing fancy food. But, she doesn't like that idea at all. I don't mind going in a different direction with food - I could honestly care less about food. But I just don't want this to be turned back on me when we pay more for food and end up going over budget in the end...because it's likely that could happen.
Between all of this and other things like..not walking down the aisle to a traditional wedding song, not having her stay the night with myself and my bridesmaids the night before the wedding, not having a live person singing or playing music during the wedding, etc...I'm going crazy. What do I do? I'm giving her so much choice and say...but this is my day - not hers..and this is turning into her wedding.
Thanks for your help.
