This is quite the rollercoaster but I need some outside advice on what to do. I feel like I am in a netflix documentary atm.
I have been married a year and a half to my husband. At the end of August I received a message from a woman on instagram along with screen shots of him having cheated on me since November. He told her he had moved out etc but she knew he was married at the start of it. He then called it off with her and she checked my instagram and saw pics of us together proving he had never moved out and went mad and messaged me, he had been speaking and seeing her for nearly a year (he travelled alot with work so I never clocked anything), his behavior never changed with me at all and I never had a reason not to trust him when he said where he was.
He spent a couple of weeks begging me back but then said I wasn't going back to my normal self quick enough so moved out for a couple of weeks saying he needed some space. Since then I have had baliffs knocking on the door for loans I didn't know he had taken out. I also opened his pay slip as I started opening letters to see what was actually happening as I have two teenagers in the house. He has been lying to me about how much he earns by over a grand (as in he has an extra grand a month I never knew about), it then came out yesterday that he has been paying his ex wife spousal maintenence for years of about £500 a month (no kids, it's the only way she would sign apparently) and he has been taking loans out to cover the money so I would never notice it was gone. I had noticed, but he would make elaborate stories about petrol and things he had bought etc, eating out when he was away etc.
This morning I have had a letter from council tax and energy saying they haven't been paid for over two months. I send him 1200 a month to his account and he just pays everything, so it now seems he has been taking my money as well and spending it on god knows what.
I have also found out in the last week he has been speaking to a woman he cheated on his ex wife with and he's just telling me like I am his mate, but then saying he won't be happy about it if I move on.
I am now terrified about money and what hasn't been being paid, whilst being devastated about what has happened as it was all so out of the blue. I don't even know this man I am married to.
I work full time and I just can't concentrate on anything. I don't want him back now, I physically don't think I could as I am so gobsmacked by all this. He keeps messaging me and I don't know if this is good for me or not. I literally don't know what to do.
Thanks Guys x
