HELP- newlyweds living with husband's parents

This should have been a discussion before the marriage and the move in. Only help I can offer is move out.

Oh boy. Girl I feel you.

My FH and I actually HAVE a house, it just happened to burn to the ground a month after we bought and a few days after he moved it, so it has to be rebuilt and in the mean time he's staying with his parents again and it is /extremely/ frustrating especially since they're adamant that even though we're engaged we aren't to sleep over that their house. Even though we've been together for a few years and already had bought our house and I was going to be moving in soon anyway.

So we get a text asking us when I'm going home every evening.

Parents can be frustrating but you gotta do what you gotta do for the time being. My suggestion to got would be to make time for you guys to be alone. Whether that means leaving for the evening or just locking the door in your room to be together.

It sounds like you're all good people trying to do the best living together in the same space. Is there any place you can manage to get some privacy? Ask permission to convert the basement or garage into a space just for the two of you?

I would also suggest that your hubby have a nice, informal chat with his parents about some boundaries to be set.

Unfortunately, my only advice is to move out. Live on your own and have the space you can afford. I think it will make you appreciate everything you earn together in the long run. Plus, it's the hard times that bring you closer.

Best advice is to move out. It happens when you move in with family. his should of been a big discussion before marriage

Make sure that 1) you and your husband take time just to the two of you each week whether it be a long walk or drive together, a day trip, a dinner and movie date. Whatever. and 2)make sure you take some alone time for yourself. Get acquainted with your nearest Starbucks and go there once or twice a week with your homework or a book.

Other than that, you'll just have to do your best to abide by your MIL's way of doing things until you move out.

She is "very specific about how things are done" because it is HER house. If someone was living with me full time, I would probably be the same way.

Be grateful for the situation you have and make sure to get away once in a while. Other than that, I'm not really sure what else you can do aside from move out.

Hello ladies, thank you for your comments!

The thing is, this was something we had discussed and agreed prior to marriage. That we would move in with them, complete our education, save money, etc.

I feel lame cause I don't think I knew how difficult it would be!

Also, before moving in, we unfortunately never all sat down to discuss our arrangements, we just kinda moved in and have been learning each other's habits since then. I know we will be here at least a year, and my pet peeves are such first world problems, I am just learning how to develop and enjoy my marriage while still coping with a meddling, MIL.

Both of you can work, he can still go to school and you can find your own place. Realistically he's not the only person trying to get an education. I worked, went to school and paid bills pretty much through a Master's and Doctorate. It's called life. Additionally, school has made it easier with night classes, weekend classes and online options. Either hang in there and tough it out with a few of the tips by others or both of you can move. Either way something will be sacrificed.

There are upsides and downsides to every engagement and wedding plan.

We opted for a super long engagement with finishing our degrees and buying our house as the 1st priorities. In part because as much as we *love* our families, we don't *like* them 100% of the time and after a certain point, living with them was out of the question. Waiting sucked, saving money sucked but it was far better than the alternative.

Quicker engagements run the risk of your situation OP. My advice is smile and bear it until you can move out.

My FH and I lived in his parents house for TWO YEARS before buying our house this past September. It was a huge test on our relationship as I am very reserved, and don't like to impose and his father is retired, always home. I was never alone. We also lived with his brother, and for the first 8 months his grandmother! Agh. I don't have great advice other than communication is key. We had a lot of arguments, and a lot of deep conversations. I can't tell you how many times I looked up apartments saying our sanity was worth the cost. But had we not done what we did we would not have been able to afford our home, and it's like those last two years never happened. I now know we can get through ANYTHING and I actually appreciate what we went through. Stay strong!

I don't think I could live with my IL's. My sanity is worth a rent payment. DH and I lived in a studio apt together when I first moved in with him.

My FH and me are both going to take online classes while attending school. It's going to be a lot of work but moving out of my parents just to go live with his really doesn't sounds kin. Plus his family doesn't speak English and the communication would be extremely difficult if I lived there.

I lived with my DH's parents the summer we were both studying for the bar and we struggled with his parents not giving us space. The solution honestly was to get out of the house. So we found all kinds of cool places to study. The other solution was learning to accept the situation and be very grateful that his parents supported us financially that summer. We had some tough moments and some wonderful moments and MIL and I became very close that summer. Not to say she didn't drive me crazy, but I learned to appreciate her and the fact that she hosted me all summer. It's not ideal but keep focused on the end goal!