Help! Rsvp's and Mexican Families!!

Okay, so I could've written this post. 😂


My family is all good (hopefully; I'm actually more worried about some of them RSVPing and then being a no-show) but my FH family... Haha. They'll drive from Texas out to California for a quinceanera but not tell anyone they're coming. And we've gotten 3 invites for weddings on his side with no way to RSVP. 2 were backyard weddings so not a huge deal I guess but one was at one of the more expensive venues. The bride was young and I think really wanted the venue but other than that, a lot of other elements were very casual.
So, idk. Our wedding is in October and I've made it abundantly clear to my FH that all of his younger with friends MUST RSVP and I've expressed the same to my FH's mom and family. Basically, it's like spread the word to the tia's and tio's because otherwise they will have no seat, no table and no food.
We're paying for about 90% of the wedding so I'm prepared to hold a firm stance on this. I'm more than willing to host all the family and would be honored for any of our guests to come in from out of state, but we don't have "extra" money to add food for to cover folks who don't RSVP and may or may not come.
If you're paying, stand your ground and make your expectations clear. "We don't do that" is not an excuse for poor manners.

View Quoted Comment Agree completely. It's your wedding. If your paying tell your parents how it's going to be. If your parents are paying for it all and they don't care if you over estimate the head count to have enough food and they dont care if they pay for people who no show. Then overestimate, but if they set a budget and do care then try to convince them with money talk the wisdom of your plan

Let them know you HAVE to get a guest count for EVERYTHING in the wedding world, and so people will need to rsvp! You might have to take it upon yourselves to reach out to each individual person to ask them if they’re coming or not to get a good count if they don’t rsvp themselves.

Are you paying for a majority of things yourself? Then I would explain to your parents that times have changed and things are not like how they used to be back in the days. RSVPS are very necessary. Your guestcount determines everything. Your price for food, alcohol, are you renting special chairs? Will you have enough silverware and plates for random ppl. Most likely not.


You need someone in your family to be on board with you to help spread the word like pp mentioned and to help ask ppl if they are coming after your rsvp deadline. We have a lot of family who dont rsvp. But then have an equal amount of ppl who rsvp & dont show up. I will have a seating chart for our wedding. I will also have an extra 2 or 3 tables for those who didnt rsvp. The ppl at those tables will be last to eat if theres any food left. And FHs friends are the type to show up without rsvp. I told him, he can tell them to rsvp or they can come after dinner when we are only damcing.

View Quoted Comment The struggle! Haha.
We are also paying for about 90% of the wedding, and my FH literally said the same thing you did in regards to "no RSVP we can't guarantee you'll get food or a table". Thanks!

View Quoted Comment We are paying for about 90% of the wedding which includes the alcohol and food. The venue has about 50 tables total and a set amount of chairs as well.


That's a great idea about other guests arriving after food is done and dancing has begun!
Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Yea unless you are going to have a few chivos for an abundant amount of birria or an abundant amount of chairs like back in the days, its going to be stressful. Try not to stress too much or get too discouraged. Hopefully they will come around. If I was you I might even go as far as telling my parents that if they dont get on board w the RSVPS then you will be asking them to help pay for more food and to rent more tables & chairs lol

Is your fiancé on board with you about having assigned seating? If so, he needs to sit in and support you. Use the example of your quinceanera disaster to drive home the point why you want the limited seating arrangement. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground with boundaries. If they are unwilling to respect your choice, give back any money you were offered and plan a wedding with just fiancé within your means and keeping a cap on the guest list you want and can afford.