Help! Torn between two venues!

When they are "all inclusive" do the homework to make sure that you like what they offer, AND have the chance of getting an outside service or vendor if you want.

I was torn between two venues too. Both had multiple spaces we could use, and decor items. However, my decision boiled down to food. Food is important to my fiancé and I especially because we are having a destination wedding, and most are going to travel an average of 450 miles to see us get married.

In any case...

I had been warned by a friend and his wife to avoid, "Venue X" because when it came to their Italian food fare, they under cooked the pasta. Pasta! I did a bit more research and their exclusive food caterer didn't have much in terms of menu items that were more specialized (most items you could buy in bulk, prepare cheaply, so on, so forth). I didn't see many reviews of the caterer unless they were over 3 years old, and there were hardly any pictures. When it came to "Venue X", most people reviewed the locale favorably, but were not very impressed with the food.

These were the first in a series of red flags.

-"Venue X" stated in their wedding packages that no outside food or alcohol was allowed. While it wasn't a deal-breaker with the alcohol, they stated that the only exceptions they had really made were for others with specific religious/dietary restrictions in mind. Furthermore, they didn't even want to give us a tasting until after booking the venue, even though my fiancé and I offered to meet with the caterer pay for a tasting right off the bat. (This was the nail in the coffin for me)

-There was only one preferred vendor in terms of flowers.

-No choice in bakeries (only what came with the venue)


I really hate to put this venue in a bad light because the owner made a very good impression, is a person of faith, and has worked hard for this venue.

The final red flag was when speaking to one of our vendors that they mentioned that "Venue X" had a reputation for not treating couples well, or coordinating their day smoothly if they did not go along with the vendors/ options on their list. Yikes.

I did take the opportunity to be honest with Venue X's staff when telling them why I wouldn't be selecting the venue. I did state that the lack of food options was a major factor, as well as lack of flexibility when it came to tastings as we were planning a destination wedding and wanted to be sure our guests were happy.

I am happy with the venue my fiancé and I chose. The Stillwell House's menu comes from the family owned "El Charro" restaurants famous for creating the chimichanga. It is ESSENTIAL southwestern cuisine. We were able to plan a tasting in two weeks after being granted work leave sporadically, and it was SO HARD to choose between food options.

While I am still in the planning process, they have been extremely accommodating with my schedule, and have good rapport with my vendor team.

I did however change my proposed wedding date first from the spring season to the off season due to costs, and then from a Saturday to a Sunday since there was a minimum count requirement at The Stillwell House (if fewer than the count arrived, costs could go to additional food options), and multiple vendors raised their costs for the demand of Fridays and Saturdays.

My suggestions:

-Do the homework in terms of what flexibility you may have with the venues. See how much of the $$$ really goes into food, decor, etc.

-Offer to pay for tastings upfront if you are still making up your minds.

-Talk to vendors you interview. See how they like and get along with the venue(s).

-If you are considering moving your wedding to a date other than a Saturday, consider the age of your guests and what potential days off they may be able to get. As long as you send out save-the-dates a year or more in advance, people have more time to plan and budget to see you.

-Book as much as you can NOW. Your wallet, sanity, and waistline will thank you. I am seeing firsthand how brides gain weight during the planning process due to the stress. Do it early rather than the "traditional" timeline, and take the time to get in better shape (if you aren't already) at a reasonable pace rather than crash dieting as many brides do.

I hope this helps.

$7000 more is a lot for a venue that seems to be nearly comparable to the other. If the offerings are comparable and the other venue is "super cute", I would go with the cheaper option and splurge a little somewhere else.