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Dedicated November 2021

Help!!

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Madison, on June 2, 2021 at 11:08 PM

Ladies please be my listening ear and give advice. I’m dealing with a narcissistic control freak of a future MIL. Fiancé’s mom has said the following: I’m not good enough, he could do better, I steal his money, he should be with someone more like her. These comments all came after the proposal. Five months later I’m still dealing with this. I let it go thinking it was just reaction instead here is what she has said recently: the location and date need to change, the groomsmen attire she doesn’t like, my photographer isn’t good enough, no one would come to the wedding, she wants to do flower girls hair, she thinking my hair stylist can’t do hair, the dresses the decor none of it is good enough. Said the shower she wants to through is not about me the bride but instead it’s about FH, said the rehearsal is about FH and not me the bride. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be for us both not just groom so what the heck. She refuses to shut her mouth. FH takes up for me but she won’t stop with the comments and I’m at my wits end, help!

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27 Comments

VIP January 2019
Maggie · on June 3, 2021 at 12:22 PM
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"I can’t even count how many times we have said she will be cut out if she continues this behavior." Here is your EXACT problem. She knows you are making empty threats. You say you keep making boundaries but she won't respect them. That's not actually how boundaries work. You set them, stick to them, and then enact appropriate consequences when/if the boundaries are crossed. The consequences aren't punishment so much as you protecting yourselves and following through with your words.
I'm beginning to think you have a future spouse problem and not a future MIL problem (since he should be the one communicating with her and then enforcing whatever boundaries you two have agreed on). I would get all of this settled before you get married because this will rule your married lives if you let it.
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Super July 2020
Cool · on June 3, 2021 at 2:13 PM
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I agree. This is sounding more and more like a FH issue than FMIL.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on June 3, 2021 at 5:30 PM
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If he has told her that then he should follow through. Boundaries mean nothing unless there are consequences.
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Beginner June 2023
Brittany · on June 3, 2021 at 9:14 PM
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Sounds like my future MIL!!! She is demanding my fiancé's nephew (11 yrs old) be a groomsmen. She keeps butting in with our plans and tells us what she wants. We just told her "Sure" or smile and nod LOL. When in reality, she's not getting her way. It's YOUR day. If she's going to keep disrespecting you, she doesn't need to be invited anymore. Plain and simple.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on June 4, 2021 at 7:21 AM
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First off you need to grow up. Your fiancé needs to grow too. You don’t establish boundaries by giving into her nonsense.
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on June 8, 2021 at 4:42 PM
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As the mom of two college age sons who might be a mother of the groom someday, I am so sorry you are going through this. Is your son the only boy or an only child? Is there a future father in law around? Can he handle her? I would elope, lol, and never let her around any grandchildren.
Have your fiance tell her if she continues she will not be invited. And stick to it. Girl I am telling you it is only going to get worse!
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Devoted June 2026
Kaylee · on June 9, 2021 at 12:19 PM
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I am so sorry that you have to deal with a bridezilla of a MIL. I guess just talk with your FH and let him know how you’re feeling. Tell him you want to exclude her from the rest of the details leading up to the wedding to “make it a surprise” for her while really you just avoid her criticism.
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