Hiring a bartender, or no? Hiring a caterer, or no?

Like JC said some venues require you to have an actual bartender so check into that.

I don't want to have to do any work or stress about anything major the day of my wedding so I intentionally picked an all inclusive venue that has it's own carerer.

It's a great money saver. But, like they said above, its at your venues discretion. I have to have a bartender. But of course, there is one in about every family, so maybe someone's boyfriend or girlfriend will do it cheap! The reason venues want PRO bartenders is because the liability of being sued in the event of an accident. They want someone there well-versed in the signs of ONE too many. Self service can be way hard to control. Plus there will likely be sneaky underage people testing their luck.

Catering is another story. I considered DIY-ing my side dishes for my dinner. Eventually, I passed on that. There is so much going on that day that I do not want to end up in a kitchen. Again, I have family that can help with that.

If you are just doing a grazing menu, You can order party trays and have someone pick them up. No catering or service necessary!

My step dad is awesome with food so I was thinking about having him & a couple of his friends do it. For food that is.

Not a whole lot of my family drinks so it would def save me a lot of money. But I see what your saying about people having to much to drink.

I will def. Have to check with my venue.

I wouldn't suggest doing a self-serve bar. People tend to over pour and waste drinks. I have been to so many events and see half bottles of beers and cups full of alcohol left sitting around. Also to save a few bucks and the waste have someone to monitor the drinks. Instead of guest taking a whole beer, have someone pour half into cups. We have a family friend that always serve drinks for any of our family events . So I will be asking him to do the same for our wedding , if my venue allows.

On another note, the cheese and fruit trays you mentioned. Will that be the only food served the whole night or just a snack ?

We aren't having a bartender. Our wedding is very small (30 adults) and it's basically just our family and really close friends. The type of people who come to our house and even my mom's house and go in the fridge to grab a beer on their own.

We are doing two signature drinks. His & Hers (bahama mama & jack n coke) in drink dispensers up higher than little hands can reach. We're also doing big tin basins with beers on ice and there will be wine bottles at each table with extras available for the wine drinkers.

The food we really never debated because like you already know, food is a lot of work.. but if you're not having a full meal, it might be possible for you to have someone else set it up for you. It would definitely be a money saver. I saw that cheese picture on pinterest when I was looking for appetizer ideas! lol

So cheese, meat and fruit trays will be the ONLY food you serve? No, I don't think that's enough for the whole night even for a 7pm ceremony. I don't think many people will stick around for several hours to dance / party (if that's what you're planning) after only having a snack.

The company providing the beer and tap system requested we get a bartender as they wanted less people handling the equipment. I was going to ask a friend to do it but my caterer said he had a few friends that would do it for 8 bucks an hour. Heck yes I will, less stress for me. Now they will only be serving drinks that are already mixed and and the beer and soda from taps. If I needed a full service bartender they are more per hour. I am glad I decided to hire one its just one less worry for me on that day. My original plan was self serve but I was worrying about that going well. Who would replenish the drink dispensers when they are low, how will I make sure everything is cold, who will our the toast etc.

As far as a caterer I was going to try to enlist a bunch of people to help me cook but decided against it. On my big day I only want to focus on my new husband and looking pretty for him. My opinion is if you can afford to have it catered do it so it is less you have to do. If you want to save that money and cater yourself I would definitely enlist help and lock them in for specific dates and times to help, and keep your guest list smallish to save on work. I would also ask friends and family to bring some of the food items so you have less to do. I think most people who come to a wedding expect a meal but since it is so late in the evening you should be able to get away with the meats, cheeses and breads. I hope whatever you choose to do goes well for you.

If I was invited to a wedding at 7, I'd expect a full meal. You'll want to put a warning on the invitations, like "hors d'ourvres reception to follow" to give people a heads up.

I think it depends on how many guests are going to be at your wedding. And you would also need to have someone designated to refill & keep an eye on everything to make sure you dont run out of cups, ice, or anything else.

I would check with your venue to see if they require a bartender. If not, I think a self serve bar is fine. As far as the food, I think you'll need more than cheese and crackers. It's okay not to do a full meal as long as you warn guests on the invitations, but I think you should provide them with more variety especially if they will be drinking.

If you said "cocktail reception" or "hors d'oeuvres to follow", I would expect some hot appetizers or food stations with different options, not just fruit, deli meat and cheese. That's literally just a snack. It's not enough to even say hors d'oeuvres.

Unless you have some type of liability insurance, I wouldn't have a self-serve bar. I think it puts you at higher risk for someone doing something stupid once they leave your wedding all because they were allowed to serve themselves at your bar. My only concern is that 7pm is still a dinner time for many people. Have you considered heavier apps like meatballs, hot dips, skewers, etc?

We aren't having either. We're doing a small reception at home after the ceremony. The menu I've planned can be prepared ahead of time, and we're just having can beverages. But that's us, and that's how we are and our friends will enjoy it as much as we will

I think everyone's advice so far has been spot on! I have no idea where your venue is, but one other thing you should check into is if they allow outside food. Some places have a strict in-house catering policy (but they usually go over this type of thing when you sign your contract).

I think things will work out well if you and FH consider the above.

I do not think I would do a self serve bar. One of the main things that I was concerned with ppl getting to intoxicated. So I decided not to serve plus our venue requires a person to have a alcohol license. I am catering my own wedding. This is no easy task. Being that I cater for a living, I knew to choose my menu carefully. This does not mean that it will be any less challenging. Because I am soooo pick and food is what I do best, I could not part from doing what I get paid to do. Our wedding is at 5 therefore we decided to serve "snacks" while the wedding party takes pictures and a full meal at the reception. For our snack hour we chose spinach dip in a bread bowl with crackers, light deserts (cake pops, brownies and cookies) and bottle water and lemonade. Dinner menu I chose curry chicken, blacked fish, pulled turkey sliders, meatless pasta dish, rice dish, string beans/cabbage/or corn, fruit tray dinner roll and fruit punch and tea to drink.

Most of the prep work I can do ahead of time.

First off, if you are going to keep things simple with the hors d'oeuvres then please let your guests know.

My cousin's wedding had exactly what you just mentioned but with another cousin behind the bar and then light snacks. It was not articulated on the invitations at all and their wedding started at 6 or 7 in the evening as well. We ended up leaving at 9 because we were starving.

I also think you really need to communicate with anyone friends/family that you would like to do things for your wedding. The cousin who was stuck being bartender at the other cousin's wedding didn't get to enjoy themselves at all. Make sure your stepdad and his friends would really want to be doing the food keeping in mind that they may not get to fully participate in things for the wedding.

My concern with the self-serve bar is how do you ensure underage/ intoxicated people are not helping themselves to alcohol? If your venue allows this option (most do not) you will be the one sued if someone gets into an accident after leaving your party.

I would be starving with the only option being meat, cheese, and crackers. I agree that I would not onsider that hors d'oeuvres.

If there's no meal then time it in between lunch and dinner, or in the morning, if its between meals, then appetizers is ok, or cake champagne reception

Personally that sounds like a lot of work and a lot of worry making sure everything is ok for the evening. Not worth it. I think it will be worth the money to have someone pouring drinks and someone to make and bring in the food.

Like many others have said, check with your venue. For me, the bartender and caterer is all included with the cost of the venue, so it's cheaper for me to have them than to not.

My venue doesn't have a liquor license so they require us to hire a bartender with $2 million in liability coverage. Many venues have requirements like this, so just check with them beforehand.