Honeyfund bridal shower

A shower is for physical gifts. If they are doing cash only, the bride should not be having a shower but some other type of event instead. Fundraisers are a new trend in the grand scheme and not everyone views them in a positive light because it toes the line of what is acceptable vs not according to proper etiquette?


Personally I don’t come from a family or social circle where cash is given and have never been comfortable gifting it so I would be at a loss and likely decline. Only you can decide what you are comfortable doing.
This is a good example of how it confuses guests who would otherwise automatically bring a physical gift (many circles do not give cash regardless of the occasion nor contribute to online fundraisers) and how not having a traditional registry results in guests bringing gifts the couple never asked for and won’t be able to return if they are not to their taste.

I come from a culture where (a) gifts are expected (we consider it very rude not to bring them) and (b) cash gifts are ordinarily asked for and are totally acceptable.

While I disagree with the view of some that they would decline the invitation having taken offense to the cash gift request, I agree that the whole intent of a bridal shower is to shower the bride in gifts for her home with her future husband/wife – it is the one event that I think should be exclusive of monetary gifts. I myself am having a wishing well at my wedding, and our guests are aware of this, but I am specifically not having a bridal shower because I do not need anything nor would I ask for monetary gifts for this type of event as it is contrary to what the event is actually intended for.

How you chose to give a gift is entirely up to you but if it were me, for a bridal shower, I would be purchasing a physical gift with a gift receipt available so the bride can exchange or return the gift if she is unhappy with it.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I would much rather contribute to a gift the couple actually wants and will enjoy, rather than buy some arbitrary kitchen appliance they don’t want, won’t use, and will likely return. I am there to celebrate my close friend/family member, so why wouldn’t I get them what they want? 🤷🏼‍♀️

To me, the point of a bridal shower was always to give the bride personal gifts (lingerie for wedding night, kitchen/bath items). I'd struggle with contributing to honeyfund as both shower AND wedding "presents".

I'd bring a small physical gift with a gift receipt. My friend had a cash registry, didn't register for the shower, and EVERYONE brought a physical gift. And they had a gift opening portion at the shower.

I’m doing both a “honey fund” (though not for our honeymoon) and a small registry and I’m having a bridal shower. I’d gift whatever amount of money you’re comfortable with and then something very small for their home, under $25

I think having a honey fund is silly because I think if you use certain sites you have to give them a percentage. Most people know just to give cash as a gift, but not for a bridal shower. The whole point of a bridal shower is to literally give gifts for the bride and groom to start their lives together not wanting for anything (like kitchen utensils, bathroom towels. Etc…) My FH and I have lived together for almost 3 years now and we really don’t need anything, however, most of the stuff we have is 2nd hand or very well loved so we will be having things on our registry that are an upgrade from what we have now. There are always things that can be upgraded.


If you want to bring something small physically so you don’t show up empty handed, maybe you can get them something personalized off Etsy with their wedding date and married name? And contribute the rest of what you normally would spend on the honey fund.

I had a friend who did a honeymoon shower. Not a honeyfund shower. Her registry was things that they would need for their honeymoon. New luggage, Snorkels, water shoes, etc. I dislike "showers" that are money based, cash or even gift card showers are a thing, because I don't know if my gift is actually going to their honeymoon. If this will be the only money they have and don't go because they didn't raise enough, then I would feel quite slighted.

I think that's silly and I wouldn't contribute. I'd bring a physical gift, a gift card, or cash. Honeyfunds are dumb anyway because they take a chunk of the money - I dont' need a 3rd party service to give you a gift of cash.

When I get a gift for someone I want it to be something they want. If I were invited to this shower I would absolutely contribute to the Honeyfund and then probably just bring a card to the shower. I wouldn't want to buy something (even if it's small) for them to not want it or use it. I disagree with others here and think a shower is about celebrating the couple, it doesn't have to be a physical gift. If you also want to add cash to the card I think that would be acceptable.

I think you've got a good idea to contribute to honeyfund and then bring smaller gift to the shower - maybe bring something related to the honeyfund like something travel related they can use on their honeymoon? e.g. matching luggage tags or something?

I am also on the fence about this. My Fiance and I have been together almost 10 years and have a house together. I do not need anything that would be on a traditional registry but I also feel weird doing a honeyfund... The issue is I know my friends and family will just end up getting us stuff we don't need, regardless. I still want to have a 'shower' so I don't feel like I've missed out on any of the pre-wedding celebrations. Ugh!

I would definitely contribute to a Honeyfund as a wedding gift, but not for a shower.

I'm curious about what you ended up doing. I would have contributed to the honeymoon registry only because that's what the bride said she wanted.