Honeymoon before wedding and honey-funding

I think it would be very disingenuous to say to a guest that they are helping to pay for honeymoon that you already had. I personally would not like that. I did a swim with the dolphins for a wedding present (it was on a list of activities they wanted to do for the honeymoon) It was actually a lie, you were just contributing money to them....not really signing them up for the excursion. I gave more because I though the activity would be so fun and knew the bride always wanted to do it. Lesson learned for me.

It really depends on your crowd. While many on WW have no issue with cash/honeymoon funds, people in general outside of that bubble are highly offended by the idea. They see the honeymoon as an optional thing you should be able to afford yourself even if it’s a staycation and save for a trip later.


Many people if you do not have a registry will gift you physical items you don’t want and can’t return. Everyone can use something. If you truly don’t want upgrades and there isn’t anything you see on the trip to Target that you want but wouldn’t spend your own money, register for things related to a shared hobby. Do you enjoy camping, grilling, entertaining friends/family, game night, etc?

View Quoted Comment Oh wow. I would very likely end the friendship if that came to light. People do find out when they are deceived with anything wedding related and it isn’t pretty. I’m curious how you found that out that it didn’t go to what you intended?

If I remember correctly, you're in NJ correct? Most people give cash at weddings around here anyway. I just wouldn't register at all, and if people want to give you a gift, they'll give you cash. As another poster said, having a honeyfund after already going on the honeymoon seems disingenuous.

View Quoted Comment I honestly can’t think of anything people could get us. We never go to big box kinda stores (I don’t even grocery shop at them) and our personal hobbies we are into pretty specific equipment which we have already.

View Quoted Comment Yeah we are in NJ. I think I heard that tho I really am a bit clueless- my crew is pretty unconventional and I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding that had a normal “registry”. It was mostly a honeyfund type thing, or nothing.


It did make me think tho that a nice decor for the wedding could be a photo collage or something of our trip. 😎

Just don't register and people will give you cash.

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They told me. I said how was the swimming with the dolphins? She said, oh we decided not to do that and are using the money from the registry for wedding expenses instead. They did go on the honeymoon (it was a gift from his parents), they just didn't do the extra things people had specifically signed up for. Lots of people were upset who had paid for Private Dinner on the Beach, Scuba Lesson, Catamaran Sunset Cruise, Couple Spa Treatments. I wouldn't have cared if they wanted cash, that is typical in our group. What bothered me was putting a price on an experience which I then went over my normal gifting amount because I thought it sounded fun. Although, I recently learned that you shouldn't do that as the dolphins are not cared for and what ever made me think they would enjoy people swimming with them.

Another "older" bride here... we are both divorced & have complete households separate from each other. FH is one of those guys who will just buy whatever he wants "just because". I didn't want to do a registry either however my newly married middle daughter convinced me otherwise. Like one of the other posters said people will get you "stuff" regardless which you might have issues returning.

I personally registered for a number of items for our "new" patio area: things like lounge chairs, patio lights, a blue bird house as well as a few things that between the 2 of us we don't have but might like/use (like a high end wok & coffee mill). I registered at Wayfair & Amazon mostly (which means I didn't have to go anywhere to get them started & I could shop anytime). IF we get any of the items it will be nice but not like we can't live without more "stuff" Amazon has gift card options for about everything from sit-down restaurants to movies ~ & I did include some for places we actually go.

Mind you we are 2 weeks out & the only one item which has been purchased was purchased by my youngest son.

Yeah. Honeyfund just makes it sound better than straight up asking for money. People "gift" them experiences but in reality the couple just gets a cheque minus the fee. So it's misleading guests, yep. So many stories I've heard about this, usually the guest is miffed because they took time to pick an activity they thought the couple would enjoy.

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So we went on vacation/honeymoon/whatever! I'm thinking we will just make a nice photo thing and have it at our wedding as what we did, seems like a fun thing to put as part of our decor. I got one of those fairy lights with photo clips thing. Our trip was awesome!!