Honeymoon fund? Instead of gifts??

Yes, I do think people would think that was rude in a bridal shower invite. Bridal showers are specifically for physical gifts. It's totally fine if you don't want anything, but I wouldn't have a bridal shower. If you don't make a registry for your wedding either, your guests will take the hint that if they're feeling generous, you would prefer cash/checks.

I think you should just skip a shower if you don't want any physical gifts, which are the entire purpose of a shower.

I was hesitant on having a shower because we’ve lived together for so long and really don’t need anything. But my moms throwing it. So I can just not register and people can bring whatever..

Agree with previous posters. A shower is for showering the bride with gifts. I would be very uncomfortable if I received a shower invite that only asked for money.

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FH and I have also lived independently and together for years, so we do have all of our housewares. That being said, a lot of what we have is hand-me-downs from relatives. I knew I wanted to have a bridal shower, so I registered for a lot of upgrades in our house (silverware, plate sets, appliances, bedding, towels, etc.). I recommend going that route for your bridal shower and then not having a registry for the wedding so people will gift cash/checks. If you're super against any sort of registry, you can still have a "bridal shower" since your mom wants to throw you one, but instead I would call it a "bridal brunch" or "bridal luncheon". That way you can still have a party, food and drinks, play games, but folks will understand that it's not a gift giving event. Just my thoughts

You asked, so I'll tell you, yes, I would find this pretty obnoxious. Unless I felt like I had no choice but to attend, I would decline the invitation. If I felt like I absolutely HAD to attend, I'd buy a gift and bring it. A shower is literally to give the couple physical gifts to start their new life. If you don't need/want anything, skip the shower.

You'll likely receive some responses along the lines of, "it's your day! Do what you want!" You can do that. But, it's possible guests like me will find this rude/tacky/whatever.

Please no poems and please do not call gifts (money IS a gift) donations, unless you are a charity. You will get plenty of gifts (including money) for your wedding; there is absolutely no reason to throw a separate party to ask for more money.

And “homely” means unattractive not pertaining to the home.

Well I completely disagree with everyone else. Do whatever the heck you want! If people want to give money, they will. If they don't then they won't. I don't think it's rude, obnoxious, or wrong. It's your wedding, nobody is going to agree or like everything you do in your wedding. Oh well can’t make everyone happy so.

I agree with most of this. Those poems are cute but they belong on your wedding website (if anywhere!) and not anywhere on an invitation! If you know your crowd (mostly millennials and Gen Xers) then it might be safe to include as an insert in your invitation suite. It is def not a bridal shower poem though, that's a shower just for the bride and usually people give lingerie or candles or an ice pick (inside joke).

Idk I recently attended a bridal shower and the invitations said "We are registered with this honeymoon fund". I would say about 80% of the girls including myself contributed and I didn't see anything wrong with it. There were also some girls who brought physical gifts but it wasn't much and it went very successful. But hey not sure how others would take it.

Meh, people are too sensitive sometimes I think. I went to a bridal shower in the fall and the planner requested people only bring a bottle of their favorite wine to contribute to the couple's wine collection. It was great for me as a guest- easy peasy! I understand the purpose of a shower is to give gifts but we still had a great time playing games and celebrating the bride.

But yes don't use the word "homely" --- Denise is correct it means unattractive lol.

I wouldn't call it a donation, but other than that - this is honestly completely fine. People you're sending this to know you. They know you've lived together for a while and don't need certain things anymore. They're going to be more willing to give cash, and requesting money for a honeymoon doesn't seem at all rude to me. It seems like a well deserved vacation, honestly.

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AGREED! It's your wedding and what you want. If you're just going to return a gift they get you, save them the trouble and just do this! Seems easier to me frankly.

I've been to a shower where they requested gift cards, a few people got physical gifts for the bride, and it wasn't tacky in my opinion and I didn't bat an eye. If anything it's practical.

I came to support the bride however I could and of course... drinks and games.

They were a close friend and I'm down to earth, so if your shower attendees are the same I don't see any issues.

I agree with not loving the wording of the poem, especially the word "donation" but it's been done before and it's your choice! You'll have guest who are like "cool I'll throw $ in a card and don't have to shop" or you'll have guests who wouldn't like it. There are registries where you can add some home items and have cash fund as an option. That way it's a little more "traditional" and someone has the option of contributing to your honeymoon or buying you upgraded silverware (or whatever you feel like you could upgrade if someone really wanted to buy you a physical gift)

Showers are for gifts. If you don't want gifts you shouldn't have a shower. Just skip having a registry and people will most likely bring you cash at the wedding or mail you a check if they cannot attend the wedding.

If you have your Honeymoon destination set up, maybe see if you can register for excursions or activities instead.

View Quoted Comment Showers are for whatever you want it to be, you are celebrating your Union with your partner. Again if people love you they will come and support you in anyway. Wedding laws do not exist lol it’s just suggestions.