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Zach
Just Said Yes September 2021

Honeymoon Fund Registry Question

Zach, on April 20, 2021 at 4:10 PM Posted in Registry 1 11
We are planning on doing a Honeymoon Fund as our primary registry items; we already live together and have gathered a lot of essentials, most of our guests will be flying in, and our honeymoon is going to be more of an adventure than a relax at the beach kind of thing. I will include a few items for people that would really prefer physical gifts, but the majority will be specific honeymoon "items" like massages, wine, events, etc.
Now, there are many websites that tackle this sort of thing (Honeyfund, Zola, Traveler's Joy, etc), but all them have a fee (credit card) if guests are not presenting cash or check at the wedding as their contribution.
My question is, would it be weird to add our direct-pay links for Paypal, Venmo, and Google/Apple Wallet at the bottom of the cash/check option as additional forms of gift giving? This way they could bypass credit card fees if they have any of those payment methods setup. I would of course include the credit card option if someone really doesn't want to do any of the above, but I was just wondering what you all think of that idea.
Thanks in advance for your advice!

11 Comments

Latest activity by AndrewSlackes, on May 24, 2021 at 3:01 AM
  • L
    Lady ·
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    I think everyone knows that cash is a good idea and will likely write you a check or give you cash a gift. I wouldn't even register with a honeyfund site because all of them take a fee. I think adding paypal or venmo links is pretty tacky. Just don't have a big registry for physical gits and people will get the hint that you prefer cash.

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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    I find the idea of putting personal payment methods on your website/registry kind of uncomfortable and weird. We went with Traveler's Joy because it offers a lot of options for dealing with the credit card fee: You can have the guest pay it, cover it yourselves (it's deducted from whatever the guest gives you), or split the cost of the fee 50/50 with the guest. You can also accept cash or checks through this registry with no fee. And you can still accept cash/checks through a card box at your wedding.

    Offering a credit card option gives more flexibility for guests who don't have the cash on hand to give a gift. Considering that buying a physical gift includes sales tax and shipping, it's not totally unreasonable.

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  • Zach
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Zach ·
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    Interesting perspective on the credit vs debit I hadn't thought of. However, why is putting the direct payment links more tacky than a direct credit or cash/check payment? I have been seeing a lot of comments that it is tacky, just not fully understanding why more options is bad...

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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    A lot of people here consider directly asking for money to be tacky and rude (I think honeymoon registries are an exception but many people don't agree). It should always be a welcome option if guests want to contribute something, and not something you ask for or handle specifically. That's why registries are nice, because they give guests the option of contributing something and choosing what they want to give, without asking them directly. I like honeymoon registries like the one at Traveler's Joy because guests can contribute towards certain experiences... they're still just giving you money, but with a similar experience of buying a physical gift where they're contributing towards something specific. Offering a physical registry, a honeymoon registry, and having a card box at your wedding is plenty of options without needing to give them your PayPal address.

    It's difficult to explain. It feels different to give someone a card with cash in it versus sending them the same amount of money through Venmo. Very impersonal.

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  • Zach
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Zach ·
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    Again, thank you for the time and perspective! So the credit card option on Traveler's Joy would also be impersonal, right? And yes, I plan to break up our honeymoon into many bitesize chunks and take a personalized picture/video to add to our thank yous.

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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    The honeymoon registry works by breaking up whatever experiences you put on it into dollar amount chunks (for instance, maybe breaking up a $600 flight into 6 $100 chunks, or 12 $50 chunks). Your guests can pick out whatever they'd like from the registry like any other shopping list, and then how they'd like to pay for it. The credit card payment goes towards the registry company, which in turn pays you via bank account transfer, Paypal, or check when you go to redeem your registry. So no, it's not the same thing as your guest using their credit card via PayPal to send you a payment directly (which will also charge a service fee). In fact if you use a credit card to send money on just about any service, they'll charge a fee.

    You'll probably run into a number of people on this site who think that honeymoon registries are tacky and shouldn't be the responsibility of the guests to pay for. Personally I don't agree. Times have changed and a lot of people don't want or need physical items. I don't see how it's any different from a physical registry except without the added expense of gift wrap, shipping, sales tax, etc.

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  • Zach
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Zach ·
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    O, I was only thinking of including PayPal (or whatever service) for direct transfer as an alternative to the credit card payment through the website.

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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    If the point is to offer that as an alternative for credit card payments to avoid fees, there's no point. Transfers are only free through Paypal, Venmo, etc. if they're bank/debit transfers.

    It's not the registry that is charging these fees per se but the credit card companies involved in the transaction. You can thank the credit card companies for this inanity. Smiley smile

    It's annoying that you can't do a bank transfer through Paypal/etc. to the registry, though.

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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    With Zola you can either have guests pay the credit card fee or you can pay it when you transfer the money to your bank account. I wouldn’t use PayPal or Venmo, who is also owned by PayPal, since if you have too high a number of funds transferring into your bank account, they could block your money and not give it to you. Same with Cashapp. They do it with sex workers all the time. Most guests would be fine paying a 2.4% credit card fee. Or you can pay it when you transfer it to your bank.
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  • Chelsea
    Expert June 2021
    Chelsea ·
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    I would just use one of the services you listed above like Honeyfund or Zola or the Knot. I think most people won't mind paying the extra fee! I just feel like somebody would say something about you putting your personal digital payment options on there.

    Here's some options that The Knot provides!

    Honeymoon Fund Registry Question 1

    Honeymoon Fund Registry Question 2

    Honeymoon Fund Registry Question 3


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  • A
    AndrewSlackes ·
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    I think its best to avoid providing links to paypal venmo or etc unless asked - checks are still the way to go

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