Honeymoon fund vs items on registry?

From everything I’ve read/heard on the subject, you need to have a few items on a registry. Many people will want to buy you “things,” not just give you money. Plus, it is seen as tacky. People will definitely still give you money. We have both a “house fund” and a traditional registry with some nice things that we wouldn’t buy for ourselves.

I think it’s fine as long as you don’t have a shower and don’t write it on the invitation. But beware there will be people that will give you physical gifts no matter what.

If you don’t register for any tangible “things,” people who want to give you “things” will just pick out something themselves lol. Some people will not be swayed to the honey fund just by the lack of a physical registry!

I’d register for a few tangible things. There’s got to be SOMETHING you need... a new blanket? Some luggage? An upgraded kitchen appliance? I know you’d prefer the honeyfund money BUT if some people are going to be set on a tangible gift, better that they at least get you something you want rather than them picking it out on their own.

Great question! We didn't want to ask for things either, because we have lived together for four year, live in a tiny apartment and don't need a thing. Good to know it'd be better to have a couple of items.

I was in the same page as you so I didn’t even created a registry at all and then my maid of honor mention that since I was having a shower people would show up with gifts I don’t particular like like a set of wine glasses I might not even need and she was right. So I created a small registry with a variety of things I didn’t think I needed but I did in the end. Just new sets of towels, extra sheets, a few kitchen gadgets I wouldn’t mind adding and just a range of price for everyone. I also added a honeymoon registry not a fund. So I added specific activities we wanted to do such as romantic dinner, massage for two, horse back riding, tours, snorkeling and things like this so people would pick instead of just sending us money.
In the end out of 45 guest I received 3 presents from the registry and 3 present from the honeymoon registry. The rest was all cash.

I don't think it's bad

I did both. So far, a few people have sent physical gifts, but the vast majority haven’t sent anything. I suppose we will either get cash gifts or the guests will bring the physical stuff to the wedding reception.

We did the honeymoon fund, too. I think that this is a new thing and I find people think it's tacky because a lot are oldschool, imo. I don't think it's too much to ask for someone's gift to go to something useful rather than a garage/shed/back of a closet, etc. I always feel more gulity for someone spending a buttload on me for me not to want it, use it, or just have zero space for it. Money and giftcards tend to be the most useful gifts, to me, but I can't just say: "gimme money/giftcards, that's all I want".

My bridal shower has come and gone and I got way more than I expected in Disney Giftcards. I even had quite a bit of physical gifts too, which I was thankful for some that I put on the registry. Like, omg, the weighted blanket I'd never bother spending $80 on -- I sleep with every night, now. So, put things on it that you'd want but would never splurge on! To me, that was what made putting at least a few things on the registry, easier.

So, I made it known with my family, tastefully that: "I'm so excited for Disney, we're going to do a lot and I'm hoping I have enough to spend while I'm down there!" A soft hint and I'd say drop little hints here and there that don't seem over-the-top. I even had my aunt outright ask me: "Hey, do you have a registry?" That was a perfect point to be like "Yeah, but it's super hard to put stuff on it because I've moved out my parents house a few years ago and there's not much space in the apartment for much more." Which sets the tone that you don't really need much in that department, but you're still willing to put something together for those tangible gift people!

Also, don't put it on your RSVP or Invitation, I think that's tacky. Your Invitation is for the person coming, it should be about what you find most important -- them getting the info on the venue, time, etc. The RSVP is dedicated to who's coming, also important in showing what you're most excited for. You should do it on a separate little slip -- mine was a bit bigger than a business card and it read: "The Bride and Groom are registered at ______. In lieu of physical posessions a donation to make Magical Moments is appreciated." (I'm having a HP wedding, thus the wording).

Basically, like PPs stated -- if you don't tell people what you want with a registry, you're going to get weird things or things you already have (my grandma, bless her, gave me a salad bowl for my bridal shower because I didn't make the registry in time for her. I don't eat salad and idk what to do with it, but I'm sure it'll become a nice candy dish). I ended up only putting 30-ish items on my registry and I also put Disney Giftcards on it, so they also see that when they print my registry out.

I'm thankful for whatever I get, ultimately.

View Quoted Comment Yeah that’s what I figured, people might get things that aren’t on the registry if we don’t have one haha I guess we should have a small one

View Quoted Comment Yes makes sense, I’ll probably do the same! Thanks

Are you okay not having a bridal or couples shower? If you want either or both of those, you'll need a physical gift registry. If I were you, I just wouldn't register at all so people will gift cash. Then you don't have to pay the fees you do for cash registries and you don't offend older people or people who are more traditional.

Are you going to have a shower? I'm not and also not creating a registry anywhere. I've had to tell a few people that we really just want them to come to our wedding we don't want anything. We're having a wedding because we want to get married in front of and celebrate with our family and friends. That's all.

View Quoted Comment Yeah we aren’t planning to do any kind of showers

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We had a smaller Amazon registry and ended up getting about 70% of the gifts off it but we got a lot more cash gifts!

View Quoted Comment Awesome, good to know! Thanks

View Quoted Comment We are not planning on having a shower

We are doing both a honeymoon registry and a traditional registry. Some people are going to want to buy tangible "things," so I figure it's better to at least ask for things you will actually want/use.

We've lived together for a few years and now own a home, so I'm with you on not needing a lot of things. If you decide to do a traditional registry, just pick out some "upgrades" or things you maybe wouldn't spend money on yourself. For us, we plan to ask for a nice dish set and silverware set, since our current stuff is kind of mismatched. We'd also like to replace some small appliances like our coffee maker.

Our honeymoon fund is going to be two jars "betting" on who's getting caked. Whoever has the most money in their jar is getting caked and the money is going towards our honeymoon. Our friend's dad (successful self owned mechanic) said he's dropping $100 on me, so I pray my uncle claps back (who is also successful at his job) with $101 lol. Don't want my face ruined with a cake since I don't wear makeup as it is, I want to stay pretty through my day lol!

View Quoted Comment Good idea! We will try to come up with a few things like that