Honeymoon or rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal dinner is meant to be a thank you for everyone coming and rehearsing, so if you are having a rehearsal, you need to host some sort of gathering after the fact. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or fancy. It can literally just be something as simple as pizza, but you should do something, as people are taking extra time out of their day to come and rehearse.


As far as the change, unfortunately there isn’t much you can do. People dictate the nature of their gifts. It’s unfortunate that they changed the parameters from both a rehearsal dinner and honeymoon to just rehearsal dinner, but it would be considered inappropriate to say anything, and it will likely make you both look ungrateful (even if that’s not your intent).

I understand your disappointment as now you must revamp your budget, but the giver provides the parameters of the gift. But, truly if you don't need a rehearsal, don't feel compelled to have one. I would reconsider the party though and turn it into a welcome party for all guests. If your loved ones are traveling to a remote area, a second day event would allow you more time to spend together. Logistically, it's also easier to plan refreshments together than for others to separately find food around town or pack granola bars for dinner.

If you don’t need a rehearsal, you can tell them that you aren’t having a rehearsal so there’s no need for a rehearsal dinner. But if you are having a rehearsal, you need to have some form of dinner for those involved.


As far as the changing gift, it’s so frustrating when that changes! But unfortunately, they can choose the form of their gift so there’s nothing you can do about it except move on — and know in the future not to count on their promised gifts until they materialize.

If no one is familiar with the logistics of a ceremony, then a rehearsal is important to have. You practice timing, walking in, where to stand, and so on. Many people don’t have the dinner at the rehearsal venue. Also, unlike the movies, they are often rather simple and inexpensive at a local casual restaurant that doesn’t require dressing up. But if you have a rehearsal, you need a dinner, even if that means calling pizza delivery to your home for everyone.

View Quoted Comment You’re very right! We are very thankful for all the help but just a little bummed! I think it will all work out

View Quoted Comment That’s so true and thank you for the help!! I don’t want to seem ungrateful and I hope I’m not coming across that way., I’m just disappointed but it will all work out!

View Quoted Comment There’s nothing ungrateful about being upset when a promised gift is withdrawn. Just because you can’t politely say anything to them about it doesn’t mean your feelings are wrong.

View Quoted Comment I like the ideas and appreciate you!

You’re allowed to be disappointed that they offered to pay for the honeymoon if that is no longer on the table. While there’s no entitlement, do you know why they changed their minds? If they had unexpected expenses that’s unfortunate. If it was a way to prevent you from attempting to use the same total amount toward the honeymoon, then you know the dinner was their priority and strings were attached.

Personally I think a welcome dinner of some kind is the least you can do if you are asking guests to travel to a remote area, presumably with added expense and time involved. And yes, if there’s a rehearsal you need to provide a meal to thank those involved anyway.

I would embrace the dinner that's offered as a gift, but yes your feelings are understood.

I would just take the rehearsal and plan with his mother on how the dinner will be planned. I understand not wanting something for your wedding process and having to plan with others opinion especially when it's their money can be hard and we might have to suck it up but it's for a good cause. Is your soon to be mother-n-law someone that is easy to work with or will you have to submit to her "offer"?

I think a rehersal dinner is really important in your situation. becuase your wedding is at a remote inn, everyone is staying there the night before, and therefore needs fed.

I have a different problem. My father's side of the family wont come to a rehersal dinner if my mom is coming, and my mom offered to pay for the rehersal dinner...

So instead we're gonna have an abridged rehersal at the venue an hour before go time when everyone is dressed and all the decorations are set up. and Invite everyone who is staying in a hotel to the 'rehersal' dinner.