Honeymoon vs. registry

I started my honeymoon registry with Zola. There is a star or heart I believe that lets you choose "this is our most wanted" gift. It also moves it to the front of the registry page. My wedding isn't until March so no one has used it yet (I still have it private), but it lets you select whether you want them to contribute specific amounts or whatever they desire. We chose to let people contribute how ever much they wanted because we didn't want to be greedy and require certain amounts. I hope this helps!

We have a honeymoon fund on Zola and a few items because I know my southern family will only buy gifts. For example, my cousin just got married and our grandmother still hasn't gotten them a gift because she refuses to just do money and is waiting for a registry. Just knowing my family, I knew we needed some physical gift options. The link is on our website and we mention in the FAQ that we want money for the honeymoon most and then on the registry it says that is our "featured gift" to draw attention to it.

Not sure if some of the comments made are helpful to answering the questions I have. Nor were they completely polite. I totally get where you and a bunch of other commentators are coming from. I personally gift both ways (honeymoon and object) because it is what the couple wants.

However I am not sure why a couple has to be forced into choosing something they do not want. Nor are we having a “luxury vacation” (a bit unfair to assume). Which is why we are using Travelers Joy to show people what we are doing and where. So they know what they gifted. They will see a picture of us doing that thing or event and we will personally thank them.

No offense but our current life situation doesn’t work out with having gifts in our apartment. Neither of us wants to use our parents homes as storage, or can afford storage for ourselves.

So picking things, just because it’s “the rule for wedding traditions” seems useless and a bit unfair to us as a couple in our current situation in life.

I think the benefit of these forums is that you get honest, blunt opinions that you usually wouldn't get from friends and family.

To clarify, I don't mean luxury like "Bora Bora," I mean something you couldn't or wouldn't otherwise take.

Lots of us live in apartments with no space (myself included--I live in a studio and will be moving into a tiny one bedroom apartment with almost no living space when I'm married). I'm young, so my stuff is pretty crappy, but I do have pretty much everything I need. I have still managed to register for updates (sheets, plates, towels) with the plan to donate my existing things to charity and also register for a few new items. When my registry runs out, people will know to gift me money, if they want to give a gift.

The last wedding I went to, the couple specifically said on their website that they didn't want physical gifts and directed people to their honeymoon fund. People talked about how rude it was *at the wedding* and at least one guest, who is typically very generous, chose not to give a gift at all (I didn't/wouldn't have done either of these things, but I also refused to give to their honeymoon fund and just gave cash instead).

It's rude to ask for money. I'm sorry if the tone of these messages rubbed you the wrong way, but WW doesn't sugar-coat that.

I respect yours and others opinions. That is why I came on to ask about if Travelersjoy was successful for them. I am sorry as well for taking it offensively.

However it wasn’t what I was asking on the board and nor would I ask for money directly. A registry is a very sensitive thing and I want it to be as helpful or kind as humanly possible with it. While still doing what we want.

I was honestly curious about how to word things for my website as it has a description. I wanted to politely express what is best for us.

I wanted to make the gift giving fair for everyone even though I should be thinking about mine and my fiancé’s wishes. Especially want to make sure I am using the best website for the choice of registry we have decided on. Without messing up others.

I am glad the registry works for others and I thought it would for me as well. My fiancé at first has given me push back on a registry. I had to explain that many people would be confused and end up gifting things we don’t want.that it is a guide. Supposing that they even wanted to gift us or were even financially able to.

I completely understand that some of my description may be lacking in what I was thinking or trying to say.

Thank you for your opinions and advice. I will definitely take it into considering how others may view things when (if) gifting.

I completely understand that this feeling is mutual to many people. However based on how I am choosing things I like to make or repurpose things. I like to take things people no longer need and I like to wait for purchasing things from a flea market or friends and family.

That is not to say others methods are wrong. I like new things too. Older is not always better and repurposed does NOT always work out for me. Which is why I will never buy $25 kitchen knives again.

With that said I have only been trying to explain that I am curious about other sites that may have been used for honeymoons and how those people felt about using them and if the site worked well when they went on the honeymoon.

I am not implying I am putting something on invitations that they must give us things or money. That is rude.