Honorary Mom

I do guess I don't understand what you even mean by an honorary mom. Why can't she just be your aunt?

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I dont have a mom at the wedding. my mom is dead. its a way for me to still be able to share that moment with an aunt I am close with seeing how my mom clearly can not be there. she would be taking on a lot of the mother of the bride tasks and its a nice way to honor her at the wedding for her stepping in and doing these things for me so I dont have to go through the day and planning feeling completely motherless........Im glad you dont understand the meaning of honorary mom and are able to have yours with you on your big day.

I don't think its in poor taste to change who is your honorary mom since the original engagement was so long ago - and you are closer to your moms sister now.

What role exactly do you have in mind for her? Would you want her to walk you down the aisle, do a reading at the ceremony, or something else? I think all of that would be fine, but I would not use the title "honorary mom" or else it could be very weird. Just call her what she is, your aunt. I'm having a "honorary grandmother" in my ceremony but we're not actually calling her that, we're just giving her a wrist corsage and a front-row seat to show she's a particularly important guest.

I don’t think Veronica meant offense. I also don’t understand. I am fortunate that my mom is alive, but she had no involvement in my wedding day other than being a guest. I think it’s wonderful to honor your aunt if you would like, but there aren’t any specific tasks MOB typically partakes in the day-of.

I think it's always fine to ask those closest to you to help you get ready, process into the ceremony in a place of honor, wear a corsage, whatever other things you like at your wedding.

All of that said, it seems like from your post there might be specific cultural "mother of the bride" duties you are talking about and that's why this doesn't feel that clear to some responders. If that's the case, then only you will know how it will go over to choose one person over another for this role. I hope you can make the decision that feels the best to you.

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I'm very sorry for your loss, but it was more about me not understanding the term honorary mom. I didn't understand what exactly you'd want your aunt to do. I wasn't at all trying to upset you.

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I don't understand the meaning of honorary mom either, and both of my parents are dead. Moms don't typically have a ceremonial role, so it's not clear what an honorary mom would do or the purpose of having someone stand in for your mother. What do you picture as mother of the bride tasks?

Nope!! Do what you want

I too am confused by the honorary mom meaning. If you're wanting her to get ready with you and do those "MOB zipping up the dress" shots and sit in the front row, that's fine, but I don't think you need to label it anything. I would just do a memorial to your mom, and maybe a special thank you to your aunt for being there for everything in a program if you're doing one. Get her a gift at the rehearsal.

I am also not sure what you are asking by an honorary mom. My mother has also passed and will not be with me on my wedding day. I am going to find a way to include her on our day in some way or another, though she will be greatly missed.

Now, if you are looking to have a figure in your wedding that is similar to the MOB role, it sounds like your Aunt has become that for you over the last few years and I think she would be touched if you asked her to play a more active role in your wedding, whether that is helping you get ready, being in family photos, etc.

Family is what you make it and so choose to honor those special folks in your life however you see fit on your day!

I would suggest maybe honouring both with a wrist corsage each or something. You can have anyone you want take any role.

Edited to add I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.

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Thank you so much. We have decided to do a first look with my aunts and the FH great grandma and grandma I am also doing one with the dad grandpa and my brother and nephews so two small groups we will also be honoring all the aunts with a wrist corsage and I think I am still going to ask my one Aunt that was my moms sister to be in the dressing room with me to get ready.

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Yes it would be to have her there for those things as like you said she has really stepped into that role for me over the last few years. we are going to honor all of the aunts with wrist corsages but I am going to have my one Aunt be with me in the dressing room and get a couple extra special pictures with her

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Sounds lovely!