Honoring a Deceased Family Member

Sounds like you have it covered a empty chair. I've seen that before.

We did a memory table bc we had multiple deceased family members we wanted to be there in spirit. It was off to the side sort of behind the chairs at the ceremony and I didn't even ask bit my friends and family helped move it to the reception area which was really thoughtful

We put pictures of my grandmother on everyone's boutonnieres (bridal party was all family) and bouquets at my mothers wedding

@Savannah I love the idea of a memory table!

@Heather, that is a really cute idea I am definitely stealing it.

I have a picture frame that someone gifted me with my dad's picture that I plan on utilizing in the reception space. Its really so hard without him, my condolences.

I like the memory table idea, and the picture on the boutonnieres!

I added picture charms to my bouquet of my dad and brother. I had cuff links made for H of his dad. I also had out officiate have a moment of silence and said their names. A memorial table with pictures and candles at the reception.

My mom also walked my down the aisle and we did a Mother-Daughter dance.

Sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is to not have your dad there to walk you down the aisle. Know he is walking with you. Hugs

I definitely understand the desire to honor deceased family members. However, some people here on WW have pointed out to me (any may comment here) that this can also be traumatic for other family members in mourning. A wedding is supposed to be a happy celebration, and while I'm sure you want to honor his memory, be careful and mindful of your guests.

Hmmm, considering it's MY FATHER (direct blood) and MY day and it was 9 years ago I don't think it will be traumatic to anyone. Enough time has passed that we have all learned to cope and are comfortable speaking about memories. My mom has since remarried and I am close with aunts and cousins on that side. It would be disrespectful not to honor him and I think it's thoughtful to have a small commemoration. But thanks for the input, I already decided I will for sure be honoring his memory in a few subtle ways.

I ordered a memorial bouquet charm and will include a few framed pictures to be placed on the card table at the recommendations of PP.

I think you've found phenomenal ways to honor him, on a day that is so important to you!

Don't do an empty chair. It's far too graphic for everyone who knew your dad, including you.

I am always on the side of less is more when it comes to this. Have your officiant mention him. Have a table of photos, not just of people who have passed, your family with your dad in context. Do the charm. Maybe even serve his favorite drink. It'll all weave a sweet memory of your dad through the day.

And I'm sorry for your loss. No matter how long ago it was, it's a terrible loss.

I had 5X7 pictures of my husband's parents, my parents, my husband's sister and sister-in-law. I had another frame in the middle that said "Always on our mind, forever in our heart." They were displayed on the side at the cocktail hour and reception. We did ask my brother in law if it was okay to have his late wife's picture since she died less than 2 years ago and it was totally unexpected. It is important to let those who suffered the loss as well know what you are planning on so they are prepared.

I think what @BahneyBride was referring to is the way people memorialize at a wedding, particularly having an empty chair. It can be very traumatic for people to see an empty chair even if the death was a long time ago. I don't want to speak for her but I think she was just trying to give you a different perspective. Honoring our loved ones is lovely - but it is a wedding, not a memorial service.

I'll probably do one of those memorial charms on my bouquet to honor my father, no announcement though. I'm just a very private person about his passing.

@Richard, I wasn't asking anyone's opinion on whether or not to do any commemoration, I was asking what types of commemoration. An empty chair is too much. I already decided on a bouquet charm and a few framed photos. Some people here love to turn everything into an argument. No where did I mention anything that isn't subtle, it obv isn't a memorial service and I didn't describe anything which makes it look like I'm hosting a memorial service. And if a few people are going to be traumatized by some family photos, I don't know what to tell them. This topic is closed as far as I'm concerned - I already took the advice of PP.

I am going to have my sisters light a candle for my mom (she passed away when I was 9) and then we are going to move that candle to our sweetheart table so I can feel like she's enjoying the reception with us. Our ceremony and reception are at the same place, so that makes it easier, so not sure if that would work for you.

I wasn't trying to say you should do nothing. By all means, honor his memory. I lost my own mother less than 3 years ago, and I definitely plan to have something to honor her. My grandmother is acting as my mother of the bride, which I am forever grateful for her. At the same time, I'm trying to be careful, because she lost my mother (her only daughter) within months of losing her husband of around 60 years. I'm happy beyond words that my wedding date also falls on what would have been their wedding date.

Michelle; the person who turned this into an argumentative thread was you.

@Celia, I'm not perpetuating your negative vibes. I read everyone's comments and all that was said needed to be said. I got some good ideas and I am using them. End.

I'm doing the bouquet charms for my mom, grandma and grandpa. Sorry for your loss. Do whatever makes you happy.

These posts are catching me right in the feels. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be special.