Honoring late husband at wedding ceremony

He sounds like a great man and I'm glad you found someone after the loss of your husband. But in my opinion I don't think you should do that at your wedding to this man. This is also his day. I can see having a part in the ceremony where he commits to your children and he may even mention something along the lines that he's not trying to replace their dad, but I don't think your late husband should be included in the wedding at all

With much respect I would not include that at the wedding. It's your new journey & this wedding is about both of you. I know he was a big part of your life but he was an ex husband, would be best to celebrate your now to be husband only & give him that special place that he deserves. Honor your soon to be husband!

I feel like if you have other late people you also want to honor in addition to him it would be ok to list out names.

I am sorry for your lose.

Is our fiancé in on this idea? I understand fully respecting your late husband. But i am not sure if your wedding to a new man is the place for to acknowledge you late husband. Maybe give your kids a little picture of him. The can do a bouqet charm if they are BM or carry it in pocket if they are boys

View Quoted Comment Thank you.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. He is my late husband not my ex husband. just to clarify the difference but I do appreciate your thoughts.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for these suggestions. I like them a lot. Something small with the kids and not overshadowing what this day is for he and I. Jake is in on the thought process for this and has been brain storming as well. In fact, when my oldest asked him (not me) if his cousins from Minnesota (in law family) were coming Jake told him absolutely. And then they went off to plan a wheel chair jousting tournament because two of the cousins are in wheelchairs.

I like the idea of a bouquet charm or lockets for the kids with a picture of their dad inside. I would think a picture memorial or seat of honor could be sweet too.

Hello op, I'm a widow who married a widower. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials. When my late husband passed (heart attack in his sleep), I felt the world ended. We did everything together. We had the wedding of our dreams. One of the struggles I had was making this wedding different. My now dh (he lost his wife to cancer) tossed around the idea of adding a touch of our late spouses to the wedding but decided not too in the end. Honestly it would have added sadness. We decided instead to plant 2 rose shrubs at each of our homes, visited each resting place of our spouses to share the good news (so to speak). For the wedding I wore the first jewelry my late hubby gave me (a beautiful cross unbeknownst to anyone but me) and I located a monogrammed handkerchief which was the last present his late wife gave to him and placed it inside his tuxedo pocket (unbeknownst to him)...these actions were unknown to anyone but me. We were marrying in the same church each of us married in and we wanted more than anything for our guest to see and feel we had been given another chance at love. Everyone there knew our journey already. But you do you (it's you all's wedding), but do realize adding obvious remnants of late spouses for all too see adds a level of sadness and you want your wedding to be a joyous occasion. IMHO.

WOW!!!

This is a hard one!! Sounds like you are marrying an understanding man who accepts every part you, even you lost of a dear love one. That's truly respectable and amazing.

I would do a chair with a photo of your late husband with a candle and a flower on your family's side.

Simple, respectful, but not overshadowing the new journey you're about to begin.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and what a wonderful story that you’ve found such an understanding and loving FH.

I like the locket or charm idea for the kids. But I agree with several other posters to not let that overshadow the happiness of this new day and new opportunity for love.

I think your late husband would want you all to enjoy your day and be glad you thought of him. I like the idea of the kids having lockets or ribbons with his photo in it to symbolize his presence, it'd be beautiful and not over shadowing. You could have your kids give you away as a symbol they're ready to have a step Dad too. That's of course depend on their ages ect. Or a unity ceremony with the kids involved. I feel like involving the children is a natural way to honor your late husband and show that you're creating a new chapter but haven't forgot where you started from.

I am sorry for your loss. Maybe saying something like thank you for loving me and supporting in such a way that we can move on find love and know that you are happy for me and your children.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment Thank you.

I am just seeing this and I am interested in what you did. I am getting married in March 2021. My fiance lost his wife to cancer is 2014. She is and will always be a HUGE part of our life. We were trying to think if ways to include her in our ceremony because we feel she brought us together.... somehow. We are very spiritual people. I came up with the idea of his 2 sons giving him a handkerchief with her letter embroidered on it saying that she wanted him to find love again and to spend his life with someone. I saw it on etsy. I thought it would be a great gift from the boys because they love our relationship and are so happy for us. They also know that their mother wanted this for him. So this gift he could keep in his pocket at out wedding to reassure him that he is making the right decision and she wants this for us. He can also use it to wipe away any tears... like she is wiping them away for him. Just an idea. But hopefully he likes it.

It's not appropriate to include your late husband at the wedding. That's not to say you can't have your memories of him.

View Quoted Comment I disagree. My fiances late wife is a huge part of our life. I want her to have a part of our ceremony. She is important to us. A lot of people do not understand it. But it's not for everyone to understand. If I were to pass and someone came into my sons life I pray she would honor me the way I honor his late wife. She deserves it. It is 100% our day but she made him a husband forst....a father..... the man I fell in love with. She had a lot to do with the man he became. She WILL be a part of my ceremony. Completely appropriate.

View Quoted Comment So we decided to keep it rather simple. I will have a pin on my bouquet that belonged to him from his army days and his mother will be gifted a corsage as well.

I just want to say thank you to Stefany and Margie on this post. I lost my husband five years ago and am about to get married again. This post helped me a lot and it pained me to read the women who presumably haven’t lost their spouses saying that we shouldn’t honor our lost ones. Thank you, Stefany, for asking this question as I’m looking to honor my late husband, too. ❤️