House responsibilities

I take care of the "inside" and he takes care of the "outside". Seems to work well for us. . .I've hired a housekeeper (btw best money you can spend) and have a meal delivery service about twice a month, so the cleaning and grocery shopping thing has been solved. As for the laundry. . .I can do it all day long. ..its that putting it away thing that seems to take a while. I don't question anything about the outside and he does question anything about the inside

I pretty much do all the cleaning around our place. The only thing he does himself is laundry and he cooks. I get really annoyed with having to do all the cleaning. I’m very much a clean freak and ocd. I get upset with him all the time for not helping me clean up and when he does clean, he sweeps it underneath things or half does it.

FH does the dishes if I cook and vice versa. We take turns doing different chores.

We share as much as possible.

Some things are more likely to go to one of us:
FH is an excellent cook, and loves to do it, and I'm terrible and hate it, so he cooks.

...I may or may not refuse to take out the trash, and may or may not have always needed it taken out when he was over before we lived together... and I may or may not be not sorry about it...

We don't have laundry in our building, so that's a shared chore. We like to clean the house together as we listen to history podcasts, because we need something to keep our minds occupied while we scrub and sort and such.

I really should do more dishes, because FH does all the cooking, and I think that's fair.

We also live in a really small apartment, so we both have to be on top of it.

We don't have designated chores per say but he will usually do all the outside stuff (Lawn mowing & weed wacking) but we both do what we can when we can. It usually results in a sunday cleaning session where we both pitch in and get the house clean.

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This is pretty much how we are and i've thought about hiring a housekeeper so many times! We have 3 cats and a dog and the fur is OUT OF CONTROL sometimes. And who wants to vacuum every single day? I feel ya on the putting away laundry too! Our dining room table is sometimes overrun with unfolded laundry during the week and then I'll put it away before the weekend when people come over.

Fos us, it's supposed to be, he does the outside (grass, power wash house, mulch, etc) and I do the inside. But I'm kind of a slacker tbh. I hate to clean. Hate it.

I do all the cooking, he does all the dishes. We do our laundry separately. I do the household laundry (blankets, sheets, etc).

We do the day-to-day stuff inside pretty evenly, clean up your own messes pretty much.

When we are having company, I will do a deep clean of the whole house by myself, but he will help if I ask him to.

I also take care of all the animals 100% by myself (sometimes he will let the dog in and out but I have to ask him specifically to do it). They're pretty much all 'my' pets, he's just not a pet person.

In the beginning we did pretty much everything together but now a year and a half later I do most of the cleaning. He will load the dishwasher, take out the trash, and start the laundry. We fold laundry together and he puts always his things and I will put away mine, but as far as anything else I do it.

Communication is key. Discuss with him how you are feeling. My fiancé is the cook in the house so he cooks and I clean (he helps but I do the dishes and such). When we vacuum and mop, he does one and I do the other. We try to take turns on toilets and bathrooms but that just gets done by whichever party feels it is dirty. Laundry is always a hard one because everyone hates it. You just have to find a system that works best for you and try to see if he is willing to compromise. Use the word compromise, it is a winning word. Good luck.

I do the bulk, he pays the bulk of the Bill's during the school year so I don't mind picking up most of the house.

I told my fiance I'm a clean freak before we moved in together. I own the house so I told him if he can't keep the house clean he can't live here. 🤷
Hes getting better at it, not the best at being timely but when he does clean it's a good job
He has strong feelings about how the dishes should be done so he exclusively does those. I do the laundry because my work clothes tend to need more care. Other than that it's just whomever notices.

I actually kind of enjoy cleaning so chores aren't a huge deal to me. He mows the lawn/snowblows the driveway and rotates laundry and brings it back upstairs. I usually do most of the regular cleaning like dusting, bathrooms, kitchen etc. fold and put away laundry, and wash dishes/load the dishwasher - mostly because I can't stand the way he does it lol. We both cook depending on who gets home when or what kind of day either of us have had and we usually take turns vacuuming (we have 3 big dogs so that happens like 3x a week minimum) My rule is, it'll get done when I am good and ready to do it, don't ask me when it'll get done, if you do, it is now your responsibility.

I have the opposite problem!

Sometimes, I feel like my fiance does way more around the house than me.

I feel guilty about it, but then I remind myself that he has one full time job, I have one full time job and two part time jobs. He is just simply home to do these things more than I am! And since I am bringing in an additional income, I try not to let it bug me too much.

We tend to split up laundry since we're both busy, so I may sort and throw a load in the washer, and he will dry and fold it, or vise versa.

We are living with my parents until the wedding to save up for a house and they have a cleaner come twice a month which has been a god-send for us since we have so many wedding-related appointments and such in these last couple months! Just the thought of trying to squeeze in a bathroom-deep-clean and vacuuming the house makes me anxious right now lol

We each do our own laundry.
I have a specific way of drying my laundry, and I think he actually sorts his by color, where I just throw it all in.

I do the dishes more often than he does. But we moved into our house 2 months ago, and this is the first time in my life I've had a dishwasher. So I dont really mind.

He takes care of the kitty litter and the Roomba takes care of vacuuming.

He takes the trash out. I take it to the dumpster.

He cooks so we dont starve or die.

I think we balance it pretty well. It’s also changed at some points when one of us is working more or less.
I’m typically on top of laundry, dishes, and cleaning the kitchen. I’m a little more organized with budgeting and bills too. She does more cooking, sweeping and cleaning the bathroom. She also drives most of the time, as someone else pointed out. We’re also okay with this division though, which makes a big difference! I love laundry and hate sweeping, which she doesn’t mind. She hates the dishes but likes cooking. If you both hate a particular chore, then the best thing might be to compromise so neither one feels stuck doing it all the time (even if it means him doing dishes just one day a week to give you a day off of it).

When we get to live together again in a few months, I imagine we’ll fall sort of into the same roles as before (though depending on if and how much I’m working, I’ll do more).

We pretty much divide up things based on what someone strongly dislikes doing and the other one doesn’t mind lol. My husband is responsible for taking out the trash and vacuuming because I have a bad back/shoulder and lifting the heavy trash bags and using the vacuum often makes my pain worse. But I do other non-household things in turn, like I basically solely manage our finances because it stresses him out to an inordinate degree and I don’t mind being responsible for paying our bills/making sure we are saving. Then other things like whoever cooks doesn’t do the dishes, so that’s how we divide that up. Generally we don’t feel like one person is doing more than the other... we just do different types of things.

We actually had a difficult time sharing the kitchen. I was always responsible for the kitchen and started taking over all the responsibilities, she felt pushed out. We have worked to share those responsibilities. If she has the day off she cooks the majority of the meal and I might make a salad to go with. Usually whoever doesn't cook will take care of the dishes. If she needs laundry done on her day off, she does it. Otherwise I typically use my Sunday to clean and focus on laundry. We actually have more of a problem now because we have all of our wedding stuff and a few things that she's had forever that need to go into the attic while we finish renovating the house. It makes it difficult for me to do the thorough clean I enjoy. Now, when it comes to the outside, that is all her. I don't mind weeding now and then, but really don't like messing with the weed eater. I take care of my herb garden and luckily most of our yard is decked in the back. I think each couple has to find their own balance. Do what you're good at or more comfortable with and don't be shy about asking for help. If you let that fester now, you will find resentment later.

My H cleans way more than I do. I know it drives him crazy but his lone request is "Don't add to the mess". I try to keep my mess contained to one area (ex: come home and dump my stuff on the dining table)
Things were a lot better before we downsized apartments so my laundry baskets tend to spill over into the walkway in the bedroom now. We both kind of grocery shop on our own.
Luckily we're probably moving into a 2 bedroom apartment next year to accommodate for baby!

We have many conversations about chores so thank you to all who said to communicate, we do already. Sometimes it just feels overwhelming. We discussed today taking a look at our budget to see if we can afford a monthly cleaning service to help with some of the bigger things like floors and dusting and stuff. He is very willing to cut other finances to be able to afford a little help. We also have a 4 bedroom colonial house that is about 100 years old with a lot of original woodwork and a huge front and backyard. We moved from a tiny 1 bedroom so it's been a bit of a shock getting used to having much more space!

FH does the dishes almost always, he's way more OCD about it than me, but sometimes I do them. Usually I do all of the laundry, but sometimes he does it. Bathrooms/bedrooms deep cleaning is usually me and he keeps our living area tidy. He also does all of our lawn upkeep - so he kind of gets the short end of the stick there! We never really had to talk about any of it, it just naturally happened this way. I don't say that to brag, but that if it doesn't feel even, you should absolutely have a conversation about it!

ETA - Just saw your update. We've hired a maid a few times and it has definitely been worth it each time to get the "deep" cleaning done.