How can I cope with my fiance's tendency to talk to his friends about our personal problems?

I didn't read all the comments. But aren't you on here doing the same thing? Asking for advice? Sometimes we need a different perspective.

I had to talk to my FH about talking to his mother about issues in our relationship. I felt like they were ganging up on me by talking about our relationship behind my back and making me look bad. It was none of her business. I think you are being excluded, like it's Them VS You and your boyfriend is on the Them side. I would feel very upset, too.

I sort of agree with Maya. You came here to talk to us, not him. Without a little more details on what sort of info he is sharing I cannot give much advice but the bottom line is you guys need to talk about boundaries.

I also had to talk with H about what's okay to share and what isn't. And not even when it came to negative things. It's one thing to ask for GENERAL advice, but I'm under the impression that the issue Jinjer is having is that he's sharing overt details of their lives. There's a difference between saying "How do you think I can keep up the romance?" vs "We don't do anything together anymore, I don't feel attracted to her, is there something wrong with her, how to I make her hot again and make her quit nagging me to quit playing video games?"

Not to mention, she's asking advice from other ladies, not men that can possibly take it as a sign to be her "hero" and start an emotional affair (another concern she has, since he speaks about personal issues to his female friends.)

Well, you say you are looking to cancel the wedding. as in break up or just postpone?

if you are splitting, have to say that it's pretty much his business what he talks to his friends about at this point.

either way this sounds like the way he is. not saying you have to like it, but you either take him as he is in general, or he's not the guy for you.

I've been a gal pal to a lot of men, and just about every one of their girlfriends didn't like me very much because they knew just about every time they had a spat it was all coming back to me. but I can shed a angle on it no one ever thinks about. I didn't go blabbing stuff & I gave them my opinion on how I would feel had someone done ______ to ME!

as for the whole emotonal affair thing, whoever came up with that is making a lot of money on giving people what they want to hear. lots of people love the idea of being able to tell their SO that they can't have confidants of the opposite sex because it's a emotional affair.

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no needless to say, I think the whole emotional affair thing is a big load someone came up with to sell a lot of books.

other than putting duct tape on his mouth, these's not much of anything you can do. he's a grown man, and unless he's slandering you, you don't have much say.

I have been there. I ended a engagement many moons ago, and the hardest part of it all was having stories come back to me about what my ex was saying.

sorry hon. lifes not fair and relationships are a prime example of this!

I think it's fine talking to your friends about your relationship... as long as the conversation is something that you wouldn't mind your SO hearing. Who knows, what you say to your friends now may have a way of coming back to your SO. Even if you never intended to hurt your SO, you may end up doing so.

If you and your FH can't talk about anything and everything, then that's something that really needs to be fixed before you even consider getting married.

My FH had a couple really close female friends when we first started dating. They have each since quit speaking to him when they realized I wasn't going anywhere, due to their own feelings for him. I personally think the emotional affair thing is very real.

I had a similar issue with my FH, nothing too serious but I was very straight forward with him, I said " We need to talk about some thing. I'm a very private person and I rather not share our business with other people, family or friends. I'm not mad, but I wanted to address it before it became too serious." He wasn't aware until I brought it up to him and it hasn't been an issue since.