How close is too close?

Your FSIL and her FH get to have one day to themselves and that’s it. They don’t own a week, 2 weeks, or the entire month of their wedding. It is absolutely ok for you to pick a date that’s two weeks before hers. 🙂


If she ends up being upset, that is on her, not on you. You don’t control her feelings, only she can make the choice to be upset over it.

Just want to say I 100% agree with what Erin said. Your FSIL and her partner get one day. They don't get to hog all the time around it. My fiance and I are getting married a week and a half after his cousin. His family is close and they're even putting off their honeymoon (I did not ask for that) so they can be present with our family.

It's not on you to cater to their feelings

I literally had to learn this. I definitely agree with both posters. They get one day. Not the month of the week. Make you day special for you and your soon to be spouse. Don’t let others wedding determine your wedding date. I am sure they won’t be upset and if they are oh well.

Agree with above, but want to add out of town guests will probably choose one wedding.

If you’re willing to ask the question to a bunch of strangers, ask HER. If you care what she thinks, take her opinion into account (but do give her all the details in terms of venue availablity and absolutely do NOT mention the fact that it’s your first and already her second!)


The bottom line is everyone gets one day. But the line above that is if you share a good amount of a guest list, weddings 2 weeks apart are a burden on your guests, and some will have to pick and choose which to attend. So it’s essential to factor your guests in too. Identify your most important guests, and make sure that they’d be able to attend something so close to the other event.
I got married not too long before my brother— 6 weeks, to me, it was the perfect difference. Neither one of us cared much about “close together” weddings, but retrospectively I became glad to have had a couple extra days a weeks of breathing room. 2 weeks apart would not have allowed for the same experience. The 2 weeks before the wedding were the busiest time for planning and settling all the last minute details, so not a time I would’ve been able to relax and enjoy another wedding, and after, I needed a good amount of time to just relax/recoup/recover, and I’m sure I would’ve felt a bit burdened if I had *another* wedding to participate in while I was so deep in honeymoon phase.
So while it’s true everyone gets one day, make sure you take into consideration how YOU would feel attending and preparing for the weddings so close together, and how your guests would feel attending both.

I should add that there is not a lot of guest overlap. We live in MT, both our families are from WY, and his sister lives in VA. The amount of guest overlapping is an Uncle and Aunt, their parents, and one grandparent. We have discussed that this isn't a big concern for us, and two weeks is plenty of time.

Did anyone make an issue of the close time between the two ceremonies? The main concern would be the overlapping guest lists. I think the limited overlap makes this a non-issue. Only the FSIL would have to decide if here schedule is too cluttered to go to your wedding (presuming she is invited).

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This is the correct take here. Yes, everyone gets one day, and if someone gets upset that someone else has their wedding in close proximity, that's a them problem. However, there's still a lot of people who DO get upset when someone close to them has their wedding on a nearby date. You're within your right to pick the date you want, but if you're concerned about stepping on your FSIL's toes, it may be worthwhile to have a conversation with her about it (echoing that you shouldn't bring up that this is her second wedding!). There may be some of the overlapping guests who chose to go to her wedding since they booked first, but there may also be some that go to yours instead since it's first chronologically and they'd probably get your save-the-date/ invitation first as a result and make plans accordingly. That may not be an issue for you, but it could be for your FSIL.