How did any of y'all deal with your overbearing mothers?

You have to keep in mind that this is YOUR wedding. You only get to do this once. She has already gotten the chance to make her decisions, and you can't be bullied into her making yours too. You don't want to look back on your day and not be proud of every single detail of it. You won't be if your mom (or his in my case) is making all of the decisions. It also helps if you decide REALLY early that you want to get married so that you can save up most of the money for the wedding between you and your fiancé. This way you won't have a financial obligation to her opinions either. I wish you all the best.

Since my parents paid for most of our wedding, I had to deal with it somewhat. But I also have a distance of 500 kms (about 310 miles) between us as a buffer, so that's nice.

If she was getting pushy about stuff, I would talk to my dad and he would deal with her. But she also let me and DH make a lot of the decisions since she knew it was our wedding and we had to love what we were doing.

FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves so I have expressly told my mother that she can keep her opinions to herself unless she wants to shell out some money.

Had to pick my battles and let her win every now and then (on not important things). I had to check her a few times and remind her that it was not her wedding and not her choices. Keep reminding her that I know MUCH more about weddings that she does. But over all, she was very helpful and was there for me when my BMs were MIA.

I wish my mom were more involved but she isn't very active in my planning! Unfortunately I'm going it alone for the most part. Now my dad whom lives with FH and I is a little aggravating. We are paying for 90% of the wedding. When I ask my dads opinion he always has something negative to say! Sometimes I lose it and tell him to cut the crap and just give an opinion but most of the time I just roll my eyes and move on. Try not to stress it and just pick your battles because you can't win them all!

My mother is so wonderful to have around because she loves the planning process. Luckily we've only clashed on a couple of things (such as my BM dress color), but I just nicely remind her that I'm making the choices I really want for mine and my FH's celebration. If either her or my FMIL had strong opinions I would probably keel over from the stress.

Forget all reason... MOBs are CRAZY! : )

I was SHOCKED when my my super, supportive loving mother who regularly makes everything about me displayed momzilla behavior! I flew from CO to Nordstrom in DC, which carries wedding gowns, to meet mom and MOH... and upon arrival mom says, "Ya'll figure out what you want. I'll walk around the store. I'm just here to pay the bill." In truth, I'm planning on buying my own dress and paying for the wedding- I was looking for love, support, and fun. I was absolutely floored. Was it too much for her emotionally? Did she think I only invited her to pay for things? Who knows?! I had entered into a new world...one in which a normal (or even abnormally awesome!) mom turns into a CRAZY MOB.

Same weekend, mom informs me that my fiancé investigating the location and having a preliminary meeting with the wedding planner was entirely insufficient and that she and I needed to "go to the destination to plan everything." She has already started "making things" even though the wedding is a year away. The other issue is that mom and MOH agreed on some things, and I felt ganged up on, which also completely blindsided me.

So- I've had a weeks-worth of emotional rebound, and want to move forward more prepared. I've been googling all the trials and tribulations and advice (thanks everyone for the posts!!!).

Going forward, I will:

1. Treat mom with all the love and kindness she's shown me over the years, but commit to creating a wedding that truly represents me and my future husband. After all, it IS about me/us.

2. Choose the dress that will rock the fiancé's world...even if it means sweating or freezing, because let's be honest...I've worn plenty of uncomfortable things for him over the years and it makes me happy to feel sexy.

3. Not invite people who don't call me at least 5 times a year because I do want an intimate wedding. (Think about that one! How many people actually call you 5 times a year??).

4. Not feel guilty. And give myself constant reminders about not feeling guilty.

5. Love my kids as much as mom loves me... and forgive my kids when they grow up.

We'll see how it goes! (P.S. I'm 35! lol)