How Did You Ask Your Wedding Party?

I gave my sister a MOH proposal box when I got engaged back in 2019.

Everyone else in the wedding knows they're a part of it, but we didn't do proposals. I'm considering ordering a pizza for each of them and writing the proposal on the inside of the lid.

I was so excited to make the proposal boxes! I included a candle, bath home, ring dish, and a heartfelt card.


I do wish I hadn’t rushed, as I was hoping to put together something a bit more aesthetic - but all my girls really liked the boxes and I was able to put it all together for a reasonable price! Originally I want those acrylic boxes I saw online but I wasn’t willing to pay the cash for it, so I opted with these white boxes from Amazon (I did think they’d be a bit bigger though). I had also been eying some cards from Etsy but again, opted for a cheaper option from Amazon, and I’m happy I did!

I took my MOH out to lunch and gave her this super cute puzzle I found on Etsy. Obviously she knew I was asking her to be in the wedding party as soon as I gave it to her, but she didn’t know she was MOH until after she pieced it together. After she said yes, I gave her a gift box that had little ties to our wedding theme, like a cherry blossom scented candle. I waited until after she said yes to hand her that because I didn’t want her to feel obligated to say yes just because I already had stuff with her role printed on it.

View Quoted Comment This is so cute!! Love the variety of items you chose for your MOH. The pizza box idea is super fun - I think that would be a great way to ask the rest of your wedding party!

View Quoted Comment Aww, these look super sweet! I don't think it looks rushed at all, I actually think it looks well put together. Glad to hear you were able to find cheaper alternatives for some of the items to help save you some cash!

View Quoted Comment I did a puzzle for each person in my wedding party too! I figured it was cheap enough to where they wouldn't feel obligated to say yes, yet still fun for them to put together. Smart idea to wait to give her the gift box until after she said yes. I love that you made everything in box themed towards your wedding in some way!

I purchased customized puzzles with a matching card from Etsy to ask my wedding party members! I selected a few different designs (based on what I thought each person would like). Here's what they each looked like:


My husband got this card for each of his guys:

We wanted to do something fun, though didn't want to do anything too big that would put pressure on anyone to say yes. When we asked our officiant, we asked him in person if he would officiate. For our ushers, we asked them over the phone.

I've been in a couple weddings as a bridal party member! One of them called me up on the phone to ask me, and the other gave me a mini tin bucket filled with peanuts and a baseball trading card with my photo and wedding party title on it (they did a baseball themed wedding).

View Quoted Comment Thank you! ☺️ I was trying really hard to find items that they’d all like/find useful. I wish I got a pic of the outside! I tied a cute ribbon bow and made little name-tags.


Giving it to my MOH was especially fun because I told her it was her birthday gift, so she was surprised when she saw the card! I love giving stuff like this so it was really fun for me

“Will you be my MOH/BM?! I would be honored if you would stand up with me at my wedding.”


Or words to that effect. None of my friends were into the trend of elaborate proposals at the time.

View Quoted Comment Awesome that she was so surprised! Did you put the same items in each box? Or was each one slightly different (maybe a different candle scent, or ring dish color, etc)?

View Quoted Comment I ended up keeping it all the same - except for one girl who got a cute little mug instead of a ring dish (they didn’t have enough dishes at Target and I knew she’d like the mug haha)


I had considered doing those cute little champagne bottles but I had one girl who was pregnant and another who was breastfeeding so decided that wasn’t the best idea 😂

View Quoted Comment How fun! Love the puzzles, what a fun thing for them to keep that isn’t a bunch of clutter!


I’m MOH for a friend and she just texted me - she also has 8 in her party so she wanted to keep it simple haha. My sister wrote me a card when I was her BM years ago.
My fiancé is asking his guys in person but no gift or card - he’s not into all that haha
I love the idea of having a BM proposal brunch or something but didn’t feel like I had the right group for that.

View Quoted Comment I like that you asked them directly! I'm also not really into the trend of elaborate proposals, though I think some of them turn out so cute. My preference was to ask each of my bridesmaids in person, but since they each live in a different state around the entire country, it wasn't really possible for me to meet with each one in person. I also didn't want to ask some of them in person and others over the phone. So when I found the customized puzzles, I knew it was the right solution for me. I liked that the puzzles were fun for them to put together, inexpensive, and not over the top.

I didn’t do anything elaborate. I actually texted my MOH and I think I told my brother and SIL that they were in the wedding over the phone. We may have told FH’s brother and SIL over lunch, but I don’t remember. Our bridal party is small and mostly family, so it wasn’t so much asking as saying “you guys are in the wedding” lol

View Quoted Comment The champagne bottles are cute, but for your bridesmaids, sounds like it was a good idea to skip them, lol!

View Quoted Comment I love that they kept it simple when they asked you! A card or text is always exciting for the person being asked. I also love the idea of a bridesmaids proposal brunch! It's a great way to spend time with everyone and ask in person. It unfortunately wasn't feasible for my group, since each of my bridesmaids lives in a different state, but I feel like the puzzles were a fun and memorable alternative!

View Quoted Comment That's awesome that you kept it simple and not over the top! I think elaborate wedding party proposals can add a lot of unnecessary pressure. Keeping it low-key is easy, free, and meaningful!

When hubby and I were first married almost 38 years ago, we decided with 8 weeks to spare to get married. I didn't have any close girlfriends at the time (my best friend from childhood had gotten married, moved across country and was expecting her first child and couldn't attend my wedding). And my closest cousins were going to another family wedding already planned for the same day. So I asked my brother's wife with whom I was close at the time. Fast forward to now: hubby and I are having a Catholic convalidation ceremony; we couldn't have a Catholic wedding back then because my first marriage had not been annulled. My childhood friend has since passed and so has my brother, and I'm no longer in touch with his widow. The choir director/organist from our church, and I, have become very close friends for the past several years and she was instrumental in helping me obtain a church annulment. The day I received the letter that the annulment was official ( she opened the letter for me, I was too nervous!), we discussed the convalidation ceremony, and I asked her if I could have a MOH, and I asked her right then. She lit up like a Christmas tree!! Since then, she has been as excited as I am, planning the wedding ceremony. We are 70-somethings but having more fun than any 2- 25 year olds planning a wedding! It's just the 2 of us but she has already given me a bridal shower and many lovely gifts. She has planned "bachelorette" events for me this past month - taking me to a 3 day religious retreat, a West Point Band concert (with our husbands), and to dinner and a musical show at a local theater. She has one more event planned later this month that is a mystery.

View Quoted Comment That's so sweet of your MOH to do all of that for you! And how awesome that you were able to get your annulment so you can finally have your Catholic ceremony!

Our attendants all live in different states than we do. If they were local, we would take them individually to coffee or lunch to ask, no strings attached. Because they were not, we asked Bo phone call or private message on social media so nothing was public. It’s not a thing in our social circles to give any type of proposal gift, so those were never a consideration. We decided to save the money for a thank you gift for their love and support that was essentially what we would buy for a birthday. So each person got something suited to their own interests that was not wedding related at all. Also before anyone was asked, we shared with each individual a very transparent list of our limited expectations and the expenses they would be responsible for. If they agreed, then we asked if they wanted to be an attendant, making sure that they had full knowledge before they made any decision. It worked out beautifully.