How did you choose who would be your bridesmaids?

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Well, originally my maid of honor was supposed to be my best friend who I had been best friends with for over ten years (met in sixth grade), but we had a huge fall out and we were no longer friends. Her and I also had a mutual friend that was going to be a bridesmaid, but she dropped/I removed her because she kept coming up with excuses as to whether she could even be a bridesmaid so I only had one of my friends in my wedding. That friend I met through my husband as she is married to one of the husband's best friends and he was a groomsman. Otherwise, I had my sister, my brother (bride's man), my sister-in-law (brother's wife), and my other sister-in-law (husband's sister) on my side.

View Quoted Comment Okay thanks for explaing.

View Quoted Comment No, I don't think so. I had several friends who I knew for years, and they were invited to the wedding, but my level of friendship with those in the bridal party were distinctly closer. And I have a very limited relationship with my cousins because they all live far away. My brothers were in the wedding party as groomsmen.

View Quoted Comment Okay thank you for sharing. Glad it all worked out.

I feel you. I had a close friend at college. We had classes 3 times a week together for 4 years. She often asked me to do a favor for her, at some point where my dh gave me a hint that she is using me. I just feel like, well we are friends and I gladly help wherever I can. I found out that she got married during summer break from her social media. I did feel disappointed. She didn’t tell me any single thing about getting married, not to mention inviting me. That’s when I knew I wasn’t her close friend as I though I was. I was just someone she could rely on for years. Now we don’t meet anymore. I drew a line. I also didn’t tell her that I am finally having my wedding on my silver anniversary. Not to pay back, just because I am no one for her 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Wow that is really disappointing. Whew it definitely teaches me not to treat others that way.

Oh, I am having our adult daughter and our son’s girlfriend as my bridesmaids. Our adult son will walk me down the isle, as dh best man, and our young son as the ring bearer.

View Quoted Comment Woah that's very nice of you. How long has your son and his gf been together?

View Quoted Comment Over 3 years now ❤️ She is like my own daughter already. She is from another state, and she stayed in my house during her summer vacations. My son stayed on her parents house on winter vacations. I and her mom became friends as well. They are a very nice family.

View Quoted Comment Wow, that's very nice. I've been with my FH for 5 years now abd I dont think I would be asked to be a bridesmaid for their 50th wedding anniversary this upcoming Spring.

Although this is kind of morbid there was a group of women that stepped up and helped keep me going when my dad passed away. We had been friends before, but how they stepped up without a question made me realize how awesome they are. So I decided that if you were willing to be with me and honestly help pull me out of one the darkest times in my life I would love for them to be there on the best day of my life!

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I don't think so. They may have if I had gone with a huge bridal party and not included some people. You can't think about it like that though - you have to choose the people who are right for you.

I had two bridesmaids - my best friend and my sister-in-law. I chose to keep it small because I didn't want any other friends to feel left out. I asked 6 of my other close friends to be my "friends of honor." they basically got to enjoy all the fun parts of being in a bridal party, without actually having any responsibilities. most of them lived out of town so I didn't want to put any additional pressure on them either. they got ready with us, we took photos together, they all wore dresses within my color scheme, and they sat in a reserved row in the front of our ceremony. I also asked a few other friends to be readers, greeters, and hand out programs, so there are plenty of other ways to include your friends if you don't want a huge bridal party.

View Quoted Comment I like that idea. That was very considerate of you.

One is my daughter and the others are best/closest friends who are very supportive who I chat with regularly.
I would never pick someone just to fill a certain number or out of obligation to anyone. Only 2 of them are married and I wasn't a bridesmaid for them but that isn't the common denominator factor of what makes our friendships.

I never had to think about my maid of honor and matron of honor, I didn't even formally ask them they already knew. As for the others, it was pretty much a gut feeling. Who do you want to stand with you on your wedding day? That's how I picked. I knew that I wanted these five people that each had different roles in my life. I did struggle with feeling "obligated" to have certain people, but I had to get out of that mindset which was so HARD. Because once it is one sibling or one cousin and then if I don't ask the other I am causing problems. So I decided against any obligatory bridesmaids.

There is a weird amount of pressure in it all.

I have few gfs so it really wasn't hard to pick. One of my FH's SIL told me that when deciding, to think into the future at me looking at pictures. Will I be upset or regretful about picking certain people? Also, if we haven't communicated regularly the past year/months then they don't need to be in the wedding. This cut out my conundrum on whether to ask 2 girls that I've known since childhood. We keep in touch, but def. not enough to have them in my wedding.

I also was in a wedding as a BM (didn't expect to be asked) and I'm not having her as my BM. Purely because we aren't close, and I kinda found out she only asked me because she needed one more girl for it to be even, and my FH was in the wedding lol.

View Quoted Comment I agree with the advice your FH'S SIL gave you.

I literally only have 2ish close friends. So I’m having both be a bridesmaid, along with my sisters, my future sister in law and my one cousin who I’m super close with.