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Devoted September 2020

How Do i Ask for a Bridal Shower?

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Gabrielle, on February 12, 2020 at 11:44 PM

I am 4 months out from my wedding and ideally a bridal shower should be happening in the next 2-3 months.
My mom and I have had big disagreement and are no longer on speaking terms.
She and my aunts were supposed to be responsible for the bridal shower. How and who do I ask for a bridal shower? I feel so terrible putting people in the position to feel like they HAVE to do this for me, but I also don’t want to miss out on this experience because my mother has let me down. My fiancé says that I should approach my step-mother and his mother, I just don’t know how. Has anyone ever been a similar situation? I feel guilty bringing it up to my bridesmaids because I know they all have a lot going on right now as well.

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22 Comments

Master May 2020
Kari · on February 15, 2020 at 11:59 AM
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Why doesn't your FH ask his mom and your step-mom for you? It's considered bad etiquette to ask for a shower for yourself but I don't think it is inappropriate for your FH to. I might be wrong, but if it is important to you and he knows it is, I don't see why he can't mention it to them. He can explain the situation (if necessary and appropriate) as well. Other people might still think one is being done for you and don't realize the situation has changed to allow them to step in and take on that role.
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on February 16, 2020 at 5:20 AM
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I think all of the PP are correct.. it would be very distasteful to ask for a shower for yourself, but your FH could ask his mom for you or you could throw a brunch yourself to thank everyone for being a part of your day and specify no gifts. Either experience would let you have the experience of a shower without breaking any etiquette rules (real or perceived).
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