How do i deal with my overbearing, self centered mother?

I just had to ignore my mom and her comments. She has a way of being negative about everything, thinking everything I do is silly, always disagreeing with things I like, and making faces when I tell her things. But that is just the way she is, and that is the way she has always been. I've learned to ignore her and carry on with my vision. Next time your mom voices her opinion, tell her "that's an idea (or that is interesting), but I am going to go with this..." If she continues to push back, then walk away. I know, easier said than done. Good luck!

Stop discussing anything wedding related with her, and I mean that in the strictest sense. If you and FH are paying for the wedding yourselves, there is no reason for her to know anything, except what time to show up. Don't take her to any more appointments, shopping, or anything else wedding related. She's proven to you time and again that she's going to continue to make the day about her.

The more details you share with her, the more you give her opportunities to do this to you. She's doing it because she can. If you didn't tell her anything, she might whine about not being in the loop, but at least she couldn't say anything about your decisions!

I'm sorry you're going through this. But stand up to her, don't give her an inch!! This is your day and FHs day, and mom will just have to get over it.

I think you should just tell her exactly how you feel. She is clearly not getting the hints and even the obvious suggestions that she is stressing you out. You're going to have to sit her down and just be like "Mom chill out or get out" like calm down or go away because the added stress isn't helping anyone and is ruining the wedding. Sorry you have to deal with this though. Good luck!

I anticipated my mother being like this and didn't include her in any wedding planning.

We didn't put her name on the invites, and she got so mad, she declined the invite, hasn't spoken to me in over a month, and ... honestly?

So. Much. Relief.

Let her throw a snit. Don't take the phone calls. Stop telling her everything, and if she buys something, don't use it.

If she makes a scene, it'll reflect poorly on HER, not you.

I'm so sorry. I know exactly what this is like.

I suggest simply stating, "I'm not choosing between you and my father. If you can't handle it, don't come."

As per the planning piece, I'd stop inviting and including her as much. When she start complaining about that, be blunt that it's been too stressful and you're doing this yourself. If she volunteers to help say no.

You need to be a lot more assertive and draw a line... or several lines.

Wow, I thought I was the only one. My parents are paying for everything except the small things we want on our own. My parents think bc they are paying they get to dictate without taking what I want into consideration, including my dress. I went by myself crying to the bridal shop to buy a second dress without my mom bc she wanted me to wear one she bought for me years and years ago that just wasn't going to work. With my hair appointment she wanted it one way I wanted it another, I finally just lost it and blurted out, its not your hair or your wedding. So that was a lovely conversation after which included tears bc I hurt her feelings. THEN on top of that, my parents bought a new house this week...so she is even more STRESSED and it's all my fault clearly *rolls eyes* So I'm just done. I had to start being firm with her, telling her, hey you cut me off and talk over me when I want to talk, you don't listen, you think you know best, I am 35 and I am an adult, I know you are paying for this but you had yours 41 years ago...Sometimes you just have to be firm. I have cried more over my mom not talking to me and wanting to tell me what I AM going to do more than anything. I think like me, you distance yourself bc you feel it will make you feel better but it makes you feel worse. I'd tell her, "Hey, thanks for your opinions but this is my special day". Ultimately, its about you and your FH!!!!!! If they no one else likes it, TOUGH COOKIES!

Oh girl yes! Mine too, I swear I am worried I'm going to lose it on her. Are our mothers related LOL I love her, lord knows I do, but she is the same way. I am taking off 2 days prior to my wedding so we can get the flowers and decorations and our nails/toes done etc...I know there will be a fight. Its been a fight down to why my FMIL wants to do a brunch for us the next day and how I will be letting her rule my life forever if I give in and not just leave for my honeymoon....really I'd rather go to the brunch the next day, at least they are all telling me to do what I want to. The Friday before we are taking the flowers (by her friend she wouldn't hire a florist, I have no idea what she has told her friend to do, I just told her I wanted red and white roses) to the venue to set up the decorations (which she doesn't like my canvas sign replacement as a guestbook or my card box I ordered...so I know a fight will happen Friday at some point and I'll be a mess at rehearsal dinner.

Ignore and stop telling her your ideas if she just wants to do the opposite. I know it is easier said than done, but it really is the only thing you can do

There isn't much of a solution, shes your mom at the end of the day. Obviously it sucks and the most you can say is okay mom, sure no problem.... and ignore her comments lol. Which is obviously hard. During weddings mothers aside I feel like it becomes a time when people love to give their opinions. Which to me is so bizarre... unless I'm flat out asking for it I truly don't care. Which sounds harsh but I know what I like and if I am showing you something it's more to include you rather than to ask for your opinion ( unless stated otherwise). I've bought things for the wedding and said " look what i BOUGHT for the wedding" to then have them text me a picture of something they thought was nicer... it baffles me honestly lol. But I mean you can't change people. Just know you have people who feel the same way. Weddings sometimes bring out the worst in some people.

Have you tried assigning her some specific tasks that she can do that would be of help to you and make her feel a part of your wedding? " Here mom look at the plate chargers- I am debating between plain gold or beaded edge gold-what do you think?" or Mom I would love it if you would help me decide on some flowers-send Pinterest pictures-do you like the white carnations or white roses with pink roses"?

As far as your dad walking you down the isle- explain to her that is important to you, and that you want your brother/uncle/cousin to walk her down...

Just my two cents.