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Beginner August 2018

How do i explain to guests that we will not be serving alcohol?

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Nicole , on January 3, 2018 at 8:22 PM

I am a converted Muslim and my fiancé is Muslim . We are planning on have a small party/reception maybe like 50-75 people . We do not drink because of our faith and my fiances family does not. My family does drink. I suppose this would be a clash of cultures but I’m not sure how to deal with this. My family is used to very American wedding traditions where liquor is served hands down. My fiancé’s and his family are accustomed to Muslim/Arab type weddings where alcohol not being served is normal. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to handle this ? I do not personally want to serve alcohol and put money towards something we do not believe in consuming. But I also am afraid that my family/friends might not understand this at all and would be disappinted at my reception, get bored, leave early. I also feel bad flying people out to come to this event who expect there to be alcohol like they are used too. I understand in American traditions, serving alcohol to your guests is regular and part of being a good host . But since we also hold Muslim beliefs and have two completely different cultures in the room I see this maybe being an issue : issue if I serve alcohol, issue if I don’t serve alcohol. What are your thoughts ?

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58 Comments

Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on January 3, 2018 at 8:59 PM
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I would serve it. Maybe just beer and wine. Those who dont want it dont have to partake.
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VIP September 2018
Leelee · on January 3, 2018 at 9:04 PM
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If, say, 80% of your family was Muslim then I would say go ahead and make it a dry wedding and those few that do drink will understand once they look around.
However, 40% is another story. If the majority of people would enjoy alcohol then I think it’s best to provide it. Even (and I almost never condone this) if you have to make it a cash bar. I’m Team Cash Bar is Better Than No Alcohol, personally.

if your guys are dead set on no alcohol, then I would also suggest a daytime wedding, especially a Sunday if possible.
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Beginner August 2018
Nicole · on January 3, 2018 at 9:10 PM
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I understand the whole, have it served but who doesn’t want to drink it doesn’t have too. The issue is that it’s also considered a sin to us to purchase alcohol, serve it to others, hold it, pour it, etc. And if we were to have drinks at the reception that would mean obviously we pay and provide for this. We don’t mind or care what our guests do before and after or if they go find something they want to drink elsewhere .
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Dedicated May 2018
NoraBoraXD · on January 3, 2018 at 9:20 PM
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You dont need alcohol to be entertainined at a wedding.

Muslim bodegas don't serve pork - not even bacon. When someone orders a BLT or another bacon sandwich, they let the customer know they only serve turkey bacon (or whatever substitute they pick).

As a guest, o wouldn't want the host to break their strong cultural/religious beliefs just because I am not bound by those restrictions. Instead, it's a kinda cool opportunity to experience their culture and beliefs.
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Master July 2017
A. L. · on January 3, 2018 at 9:20 PM
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I would have a small and short cake and punch/soda reception and make it clear that's what you're doing. Or just serve alcohol.
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Devoted August 2018
Jamie · on January 3, 2018 at 9:40 PM
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As I understand from my own Muslim family in laws of more than 20 years...that rule only applies on Islamic land/countries. Muslims are extremely hospitable and those rules do not apply to non Islamic countries like the US.
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Master March 2016
The Trap Selena · on January 3, 2018 at 9:47 PM
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I wouldn’t expect alcohol to be served at a Muslim wedding, just as I wouldn’t expect it to be served at a LDS wedding. Expecting alcohol at a Muslim wedding would be like expecting pork chops at a Muslim wedding.
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Dedicated May 2018
NoraBoraXD · on January 3, 2018 at 9:52 PM
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With all due respect Jamie, I disagree. Those are laws by government, not by religions...

For example, you wouldn't expect religious Hindus to serve beef at their weddings .in the US - it's their religion that doesn't allow that, not the laws of their country/state.

And it's not like dry weddings were never a thing - I'm sure there were plenty before 18th amendment was repealed.
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Beginner August 2018
Nicole · on January 3, 2018 at 9:53 PM
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It’s not exactly a rule pertaining to Islamic countries or not. It’s pertaining to all Muslims ,since it is something stated and talked about in our holy book the Quran. It depends on how religious a person is to follow this rule or not .
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VIP October 2017
Daniella · on January 3, 2018 at 10:04 PM
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You definitely don't want guests bringing their own alcohol. If anything happens, you are responsible. That's why you hire a bartender that can keep an eye on people and their consumption. I don't think "religious reasons" is a valid excuse to not provide for half your guest list. Don't treat them like children because of your views.
If you insist on not serving alcohol, have a short cake and punch reception and expect the non religious people to leave sooner.
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Dedicated June 2018
Kylee · on January 3, 2018 at 11:09 PM
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I would personally just not serve and it and not say anything. You don’t have to explain your choices nor do you need to announce it’s non alcoholic. If somebody asks you can explain why you chose to not serve alcohol. I have a bridesmaid who is Mormon and not serving alcohol because of their removal . We are still attending.
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Dedicated June 2018
Kylee · on January 3, 2018 at 11:10 PM
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Jeez auto correct... sorry for the spelling errors. The mobile app won’t let me correct them either.
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VIP March 2017
Natalie · on January 3, 2018 at 11:13 PM
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If you're not opposed to your guests drinking, but it's against your religious beliefs to pay for alcohol, offer a cash bar and communicate to the guests ahead of time that it's a cash bar. I don't normally condone cash bars, but in your case, I feel that's the best option. If the majority of your guests were Muslim, then a dry wedding would be fine.
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Super January 2018
Miaaa · on January 3, 2018 at 11:34 PM
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Agree with others- cash bar (you're not providing, pouring or paying) or dry wedding but tell people. If your family is big drinkers, tell your parents or aunts and ask them to spread the news to the other people that there won't be alcohol. If someone chooses not to attend because no alcohol, fine that's their choice. I would 100% not expect to see alcohol at a muslim wedding if they're truly practicing muslims. There are tons of non-practicing muslims or even "lightly practicing" (drink but fast ramadan and don't eat pork) that wouldn't object to alcohol at a wedding but it doesn't sound like that's your crowd.
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Dedicated August 2019
Arosejp · on January 4, 2018 at 12:00 AM
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Yes@ cash bar OR how about just offer wine &/or champagne?
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Super July 2017
Future Mrs B · on January 4, 2018 at 12:06 AM
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You tell them that you will not be serving it. Be mindful some people may not come because of it. No matter what it is your wedding and ultimately your decision. I had a dry wedding myself and when I told people they understood.
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Dedicated December 2018
Amanda · on January 4, 2018 at 1:20 AM
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I feel like I am in the same boat as you, I am having the wedding at my church. They will not let me have alcohol on the premises. I have to have a dry reception which appeals to me and my FH because we rarely drink. (Like one or two drinks for a year) Plus I really love the space at my venue, I feel like it is home.

My priority is food, I want to make sure my guests enjoy the food and feel comfortable getting to know the two families coming together. But I also elected to have a brunch reception because people will be less likely to expect alcoholic drinks.
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Dedicated July 2018
Sadie · on January 4, 2018 at 2:27 AM
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@OP I'm in the same boat with religious reasons. I am also having a dry wedding because my family is strictly Adventists and would not be present if alcohol was there. We have been telling people by word of mouth on my FH side and they have all been fine with it and have made plans to go drink afterwards
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Dedicated March 2023
Catherine · on January 4, 2018 at 3:50 AM
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I think if it’s against your religious beliefs, don’t have it. That’s totally fine. Maybe have a beautiful Sunday morning ceremony and light reception? That would fix all problems
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Super November 2018
Mary C · on January 4, 2018 at 6:32 AM
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My first wedding was in a park that did not allow any alcohol. The wedding started at 2 pm. We provided plenty of food. No one complained and everyone stayed until the reception ended. I personally have only been to two weddings that served alcohol and they actually ended sooner than most I have attended because people were drunk or left before they were too drunk to leave. On here everyone say to do what you can afford but then they bash those who can't afford or don't want to serve alcohol.
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