How do i tell my bridesmaids i don't want a typical bachelorette party?

You just have to tell them now. I wouldn’t wait because even if it’s a while away you don’t want them to get carried away buying stuff/preparing the day. Just be nice and honest and say that you love all of the excitement but you really don’t want any strippers or penis related items. I also told my friends I didn’t of those “last penis ever” themed things and they completely understood.

I agree that you should tell them now so they can think of other stuff to do. I wanted a simple girls day, so we got our nails done, went to a candle making class, and went to a winery for dinner. It was simple and fun and I loved it! If your friends realize what you want I’m sure they’ll be happy to plan it, but they can’t read your mind!

Just be upfront with them, and do it now so they don't get carried away. I would also let them know that you want your MOH to be involved.

Tell them now. Tell them exactly what you want and who you want there. I told all 4 of my bridemaids what I wanted to do as soon as I heard anyone talk about it.

I will also agree with everyone telling them now is better! because they already have all these ideas so if you tell them now they can stop planning what they were going to do and start planning what you truly want

I'll be devil's advocate and say to let them have their fun lol. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do during the party, and they can get their fill of penises lol.

I was totally up front that I didn’t want any of that.
BUT it was easy for me since my bridal party is just mine and his adult children! (Can you imagine the horror!)

My adult friends asked if we were going to be wild and I said “well, the MOH suggested one of those rooms where you can take sledgehammers to stuff!” and they are all for it.
I also would love to go to Afternoon Tea at a posh hotel in DC so we may do that too.

View Quoted Comment

This advice doesn't make any sense (nor does the devil need an advocate).

Ash, you should absolutely be able to tell your nearest and dearest what you would and would not be comfortable with. And the sooner and more clearly you communicate this, the better. You deserve not to be stressing about this for the next year+, and they deserve to know your true feelings. No one needs penises to have a good time.

View Quoted Comment

To each their own. I just cared about more than myself during my wedding planning so if her wedding party is so excited about it, I'd take that into consideration.

View Quoted Comment

Asking for a Bachelorette party that is honoring you to not be full of phallic imagery isn't caring about only yourself.

I told my MOH the first time she mentioned Bach stuff that I don't want a ton of penis stuff everywhere. She's super excited to go on a weekend long trip but I've had to reel her in because she doesn't know my bridesmaids and that's something that is too much to ask of them in my opinion. Sometimes the person planning is more outgoing and wild than the bride, but that doesn't mean she gets to have the weekend she wants - she can do that when she's getting married.

OP, tell them as soon as you can. And let them know that your MOH wants in on the planning as well so it's important to you for her to be included. You're not being mean or rude for putting up some boundaries on what you consider to be fun. If you're cool with compromising then maybe let them include one or two things. For a Bach party I'm going to soon, the bride isn't all about that stuff, but we know she'll think the glitter penis confetti we got is funny. There can be a middle ground.

View Quoted Comment

Why did i not think of this?!!! I would love nothing more than to be put in a room where i can break things with a sledgehammer!! That sounds like my kind of bachelorette party

It's YOUR wedding and YOUR bachelorette party. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not wanting to get s**t faced and have some dude's junk in your face. My man of honor is super bummed that I won't him throw me a bachelorette party and my aunt is upset that I don't want a bridal shower...sorry my wedding, my comfort, my rules. A girl's spa/relax weekend with a handful of close ones sounds infinitely better in my opinion and you should definitely make your feelings known NOW before they start planning for reals and putting down money for things you have no desire to attend. Maybe don't tell them about the quiet girls' weekend so no one gets hurt feelings. Just say you don't want a bachelorette party and leave it at that

View Quoted Comment I plan on doing it at least one week prior (or more!) because I know I’ll be SORE!

I literally told my bridesmaids, "I don't want a bachelorette party." they ended up taking me out to lunch and we just had a fun, casual girls day! if they're your close friends, they should understand and they should want to do what YOU want.