How do i tell my mom that she can’t hang out later after wedding is over?

It would probably be much easier and more polite to just ask your aunt to tag along for the after party.

I wouldn't make my mom leave my wedding for any reason ever. I can't imagine a polite way to make this request

I would just have your aunt come along to kinda keep your mom in check. There's really no polite way to go about this, so to save yourself some hurt feelings and possible drama, let your mom come. You never know, she might be too tired by that point to want to come!

Is it possible to say that the after party is only for friends and those in your age group? If drinking is a problem you could choose to tell her that a special gift she could give you is not drinking more than a few glasses. I'm really close with my mom so I'm someone who would give it to her straight. However, I can't do that with my other family members so I designate another person to set the ground rules. Maybe your Aunt could set the rules?

Don’t say anything about any after wedding events. Make a point to discuss her transportation home, and make sure it’s something she won’t be able to miss. (Like cousin Johnny is going to drive you home so you have to make sure you’re ready to go because he’s doing us such a nice favor). I wouldn’t invite your aunt and not your mom because that’s just asking for drama.

View Quoted Comment My mom and I are not super close. Lots of past stuff. Once was estranged but now we are fine. It’s complicated.

Could you just do the after party somewhere else? Or not tell her? Everyone at our wedding knows their will be an unofficial time to leave when the younger adults are going to party.