How do we ask for money? Instead of gifts.

View Quoted Comment People are not an accumulation of pennies that could benefit you. You sit in a limited view of money.

View Quoted Comment “Exact instructions?”, Ordered them to give me the money? .. lmao you’re ridiculous. And no, you did not read because I did not say that. Also this thread is for how to ask for cash, why are you here? To criticize the wedding couples? Shame them?

Jacks nailed it. We are both on a subsequent marriage & had full lives before each other so we too have enough "stuff", but would also love a honeymoon. We haven't registered anywhere & a few guests have asked where we registered. I told them, "we really don't need anything so right now we're just saving for a belated honeymoon. What do you think about Las Vegas? Neither of us have even been". Almost immediately, people have responded with things to do & places to see. I ask if they know the cost & mention "We'll have to save for that. It sounds like it would like a lot of fun!". The few who have asked about a registry, sound interested in gifting money toward our honeymoon goal. I would set a space aside at the wedding for cards/gifts & have someone in your wedding party keep a hold of all the cards for you.

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I don't think anyone is offended by having a registry in this day and age. Actively promoting a registry, especially when you are asking for cash, is a different story. Many people believe the argument that you are just giving people the option, not demanding anything is disingenous. For one thing, you've made it clear here what you think of people who can't afford to give generously by your definition when you are spending thousands (irrelevant, host the wedding you can afford) and for another, you're not supposed to be thinking of gifts except to be appreciative after the fact when you get them.

Telling people that you prefer money puts people in an uncomfortable situation and sends the message that weddings are tit for tat. The point is one properly says nothing about gifts. You can get away with a registry but not with explicit language on your website and in the view of anyone who knows anything about reputable etiquette advice, never a cash registry. If you are fortunate enough to have all the things you need then don't register. Guests are not responsible to fund your lifestyle choices and shouldn't be asked.

Consider the fact that quite a few people here are making the same argument and you can anticipate that a good number of your guests will be thinking the same thing. It would be rude for them to say anything, of course. But the attitude that anyone who even thinks this way isn't worth your time or can just stay home is backwards. It's other people who are turned off by the sense of entitlement this can convey.

View Quoted Comment Do your research on proper wedding etiquette and then come back. I don’t feel any type of way towards guests who can’t give, I feel a type of way towards guest who COMPLAIN about a wedding couple choosing to put it on their website. It’s a choice not an obligation and if your viewing your family or friends website and they have a registry and you get upset or offended well god damn .. good luck with life!

View Quoted Comment Again, no one will complain, and if they love you they may just think it’s in poor taste or privately think you’re the one who needs a refresher course in proper etiquette here. Anyway, you already made it pretty clear what you think of those who don’t appreciate a couple’s entitlement to a cash “injection” when they are spending thousands. That is about as antithetical to the idea of gracious hospitality and genuine etiquette standards as you can get.


By the way, traditional etiquette circles happen to consider money to be crass, impersonal and inappropriate as a wedding gift, while in several cultures it’s relatively standard. Either way, you don’t advertise.

View Quoted Comment Yes girl!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for saying something. I don't know what the big deal is on asking for money. If these are people who you are close to and love, then why can't you say "hey if you would like to get us something we prefer money. These are not strangers, these are family and close friends. there is nothing wrong with asking that.


Some of us are saving for our big day. Alexandra thank you for telling these little minds people who obviously have no idea how some is work hard to get things.

View Quoted Comment Girl I would just put on your invite a qe code for an account so if people want to send money they can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking all your close friends and family for money instead. Also you can put on your invites we will do a money dance and or a money tree. Don't let these small minded people make you feel like you are in the wrong. It's your day.

Start a Honey fund. www.honeyfund.com

View Quoted Comment “Wishing well” is this a website or a jar at the reception or what?

We are each on a subsequent marriage & as such, came from respective, independent homes before combining. We also have all the material goodies one could want. We chose not to register anywhere. When guests have asked where we are registered, I've told them, "oh, we couldn't really think of anything we needed. I think we're just saving for a honeymoon" They often ask what are we doing about a honeymoon, to which I reply, "neither of us have been to Las Vegas so we thought about saving a little to go see the sphere". Most of our guests (we're only having a total of 25 people) have been, so they offer ideas as to what else to see & restaurants to visit. I say, "That sounds like fun! I'll have to put that on our list of things to save for" & from what I gather, our guests are going to contribute to our honeymoon goal.

In my family, it's cliche to outright ask for money, but is it considered rude when people do a money dance? In mine yes, in others absolutely not. I think it's a matter of preference & the crowd you invite. To some it is, to others its customary. I wouldn't ask for money, but I also wouldn't ask for a physical gift either. I'd leave well enough alone & in your own words, encourage people to contribute to your honeymoon when they ask.

View Quoted Comment The reason it works to talk about what you are saving for when asked about a registry is not technically because you’re encouraging people to contribute. Rather, they generally will come to the decision themselves. The polite cover story for having a registry is or I should say used to be that it was a list of things the couple plans to collect for themselves. Guests then have to do some research to find it, ie ask close friends, look it up online or through an arms length link on a website.


So when people ask where you’re registered, saying you’re not is not asking for gifts or money at all, it’s just stating what your personal plan is. You didn’t register because you are saving for other things.
Of course I can sell a bridge to anyone who actually believes all this and also why the most traditional people still frown on registries.

View Quoted Comment No it’s nothing, not a link or anything. My reason is that I am doing it in my home town, although I no longer live there. We cannot bring physical gifts back with us. I didn’t want a registry, but since people started to ask I felt the need to mention something. There will not be a jar or a table with gifts, and truthfully I don’t have a place to put the money because I’m not expecting it. I just wanted people to understand that I am limited in what I can carry back.


Honestly, my point has always been that we shouldn’t be judging others for wanting to put a cash registry because everyone’s situation is different. There will always be judgmental people as you can see on this thread. Unnecessary.

I want to do the same thing for my wedding because my fiance and I want to enjoy our honeymoon instead of collecting things. I already have two registries set up for our honeymoon fund but I can't garuntee people will use our registry if they see it posted on our wedding website.

Point of clarification, the registry was created to avoid duplication of wedding gifts back when couples were just starting up a home. It's not a Wishlist or set of demands from guests. It's been morphed into that in the past couple of decades. REAL etiquette (not websites funded by the wedding industry) says that asking for money in any way from guests is rude.