How do you deal with people not caring about your wedding planning?

I was extremely hurt that my mother and FMIL showed absolutely zero interest in my wedding. The only person who cared and asked questions was my grandma who isnt even my biological grandma (she's married to my grandpa).
I dealt with it by no longer bringing the subject up to them since they didn't seem to be in interested in the subject. Then, COVID happejed so my FH and I decided to elope.

Your feelings are valid, but at the end of the day, no one is going to be as excited about this process as you and your fiance. Your wedding is still about 6 months away. When it gets closer, more people will start to be excited. This is not to say that they are not necessarily excited for you as a couple. Our moms were really excited and asked about the planning process often, but that was really it. We rarely had discussions with our bridal party about wedding stuff unless it directly impacted them.

This is a common problem and the reality is this, it is your wedding not others. No one will be more excited than you. Honestly I have to control not talking about wedding planning so much because I hope it is not a bother to others but it is natural to want to talk about it because you are excited. This is why this forum is a good place to share your happy moments and frustrations. I hope I am not being harsh but at the end of the day the main ones that will be excited are you and your FH about your upcoming day. As long as they show their happiness the day of that matters most.

I would try to lower your expectations. I didn't expect anyone to care about my planning process, just like I probably wouldn't care about their party planning (especially right now,) that way it was a happy surprise when someone asked how it was going.

Unfortunately, I think this is pretty common. Typically, you and future spouse are the two people who will care most about your wedding plans, since it is your day. I think sometimes, friends and family get burned out by hearing about wedding-related things too often, especially if it's about plans that don't directly involve them. I found that my bridesmaids are super responsive to information about them picking out their dresses, or getting a count for who wants hair/makeup done, etc. They don't seem to care as much about me signing a contract with a venue, or getting my engagement pictures done, or ordering Save The Dates, which is OK since those tasks don't involve them. You can always post about your wedding plans on Wedding Wire - this community loves all things wedding, and everyone would be happy to read about the centerpieces you picked out, or the venue tour you went on, or answer any questions you may have!

I get this so hard right now lol. I am also starting to understand how common this is. It sucks, and while I personally was not one of those girls who planned their wedding since age 10, I did get really excited during the planning process. But even my sister, who is my MOH, was like "you talk about the wedding a lot". Womp, started to dial it back and feel bad that wedding stuff was all I could contribute to a conversation, especially now that COVID is a thing and we can't really do anything else. I actually got pretty bummed a couple weeks ago that neither of our families actually asked us how we were coping with wedding planning and postponing, and it hurt that they didn't think to check in on us, but it's just how people operate. Only you and your partner will experience the highest of highs and lowest of lows during this process, and everyone else will really only be there to watch the ride from afar.

Your feelings are valid. Never forget that. No one will share your excitement besides your fiance. At some point, don't discuss the wedding with them. The boards here are the perfect place to celebrate/vent/etc when your everyday circle doesn't care or share your enthusiasm or frustration.

I completely understand this! Especially with my wedding over a year out no one seems to care at all about planning. Like last night I finally got the color swatches I ordered for bridesmaids dresses and no one else seemed to care at all. I was so excited. So I get it. I am coming to realize that no one is going to be nearly as interested as I am. My FW keeps trying to get me to talk about it with her aunt and mom, but when it is brought up it is just the "Oh, okay cool" So I just keep it to myself and use WW to get it out lol

I think you just need to reset your expectations be be more realistic. Like others have said, and I see it on here all the time, no one will ever be as excited for wedding as you and your FS are. It doesn't mean they aren't truly happy for you, and does NOT mean they don't care. I'm sure they are still very excited for the wedding, and looking forward to celebrating together! But most people just aren't going to be at all interested in the daily minutia of planning. I totally get it - as a future bride, wedding planning is on my mind pretty much all the time. But as a wedding party member or guest, would I be that interested in seeing videos of your venue? I mean this with all respect...but no, not really. For brides who do have that unicorn of a friend/family member who want to know every single detail and help plan every step of the way...they are very lucky! But that is definitely not the norm.

I would prefer people to stay out of my wedding planning. I understand your feelings but most people outside of the bridal party and parents wont be very involved.

I think the media and wedding industry have managed to cause many people to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to weddings and planning. You just have to realize that while your wedding is one of the most important things in your and your fiance's lives, it isn't that important to everyone else because they have their own lives to focus on.

Honestly, the only people I go to with wedding talk is my fiancé and mom. I’m very willing to talk about it but wait for others to ask me about it before bringing it up. I do find myself on WW a lot to get my daily dose of all things wedding and “interact” with others who are in the same bridal mindset!

My friends aren’t involved at all. But I didn’t ask them to be either. They’ll get excited when it happens, so don’t worry too much. Know your audience and you’ll be ok.

I agree with pp on here regarding most people don't really care too much, that being said when things get a little closer that changes a little bit and excitement starts to spread. I love to post things in the Wedding Wire community because we all care and love to here how things are going, good or bad. So i definitely use this platform to vent or for care and support. These girls are amazing! I had a similar problem with my bridesmaids in the beginning with lack of communication and overall non interest but now that we are closer they seem to be more excited and more talkative. Keep your chin up girl, you got this!

This hurt my feelings at first too, but now I wish some people cared less. Lots of people have been making demands of us in planning as the date gets closer, and it's a nightmare. I guess those are two extremes of the ideal where you would just have a friend to plan with. Especially because my FH doesnt really care about the aesthetic choices I'm making

My FH’s father and stepmother have showed zero interest in our wedding since we got engaged. I’ve lost a few friends this past year, on top of our original wedding having to be postponed. Also I’ve had a lot of immature guests message me with ridiculous requests that I feel I have no control over. There’s always going to be people who will be happy for you, and those who won’t. It’s unfortunate but your wedding is about you and your fiancé!

I was just going through this exact thing myself recently! It really made me realize that not everyone is as excited as you are for your wedding. You really can’t take it personal bc people are all going through their own stuff, especially during this time in the world. Hopefully, as it gets closer to your date people will be a lot more excited. Hang in there, and you’ll always have this little community to be excited for you! 💕

Itis hard. I hear what PP are saying and I definitely have had friends who talked about their weeding so much it was stressing me out but I also have been a bride that has not talked about my wedding and it hurt to not even get a hey hows it going? Feelings are valid and if your friends first time being in a wedding they might not really know how to support you right now s but they will come around once the bachelorette party planning and bridal shower planning needs to take place ! Hang in there

I didn't expect anyone to be excited about my wedding planning. It was honestly a surprise when some people were.

One of my friends got married a month after us, so she and I had a whole text thread going, encouraging each other or venting or debating exactly how bad it would look to kill the groom before the wedding... y'know, all the usual stresses.

I sometimes feel the same way. My FH’s family could probably care less if we ever got married. And my family doesn’t talk to me about it at all. I’ve seriously had to lower my expectations on just about everything. My parents never had a wedding (they did the courthouse) so I always thought my parents would want me to have a big beautiful wedding but NOT! They are a nightmare when it comes to this. It’s all what they want and what they think I should do, and if I disagree, then I’m the bad guy. I just wanted to elope and when I mentioned it to my mom she got sooo mad at me! So now I’m just stuck doing what she wants me to do 😡😞