I had a job while I was dating my husband for years. I decided to go back to school. He wanted to get married. I got accepted and got a WONDERFUL opportunity to get my masters degree. It would take 18 months full time. I know this was the only time I could do it and I was dreaming of the career change! It would be wonderful for our family in the future. Also, I raise my glass to moms going back to school bc I know I personally couldn’t do it, which is why I went back to grad school. At that time, he wasn’t as supportive as I wanted him to be. Half the time, he was impatient and just wanted us to get married because he “waited a long time”. I finally graduated, we got married, and all the whining he did seemed like it was nothing. Now the job search has been tough, especially with covid. My husband is the stereotypical female- emotional, says things he doesn’t mean, and easily moves on after kind of getting what he wants. I feel like he resents me for not getting my job yet. He wants a baby NOW but I don’t feel secure myself bc I don’t have a job. He’s not able to support both of us and is upset about it yet would always tell me he’ll take care of me. He’s so contradictory. So everything is my fault bc I don’t want to have a baby yet bc of my job and I’m horrible bc I’m not hired yet.
Anyhoo- one thing hit me on a trip 2 years ago. His aunt (in his 40s) has 3 kids. She told me that women always need to be financially independent even WHILE married. She was so close to leaving her husband and said always be prepared and have money for yourself bc you never know what can happen. My mom and grandmother have done this too. Apparently, they stash things away And keep money for themselves. My husband said something that made me feel resentful saying how he pays for everything. I honestly don’t even ask for much. I don’t even really eat. Now, I feel like I can’t accept anything from him anymore. I’m sure things will be fine once I start working again but I will never forget how I FELT when he said that. My mom was right, “never depend on a man for money bc men keep track. If women were in relationships, they show their appreciate in other ways and are just grateful. They don’t keep track.” I think from now on, I want to do anything and everything I can to not depend on him for anything. Any advice?
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