How does my grandfather legally officiate?

Don't do this. So many bad stories on here about people finding out they weren't legally married after the wedding. Just hire a professional and have him do a reading instead.

Http://www.ulc.org/

Not sure about Arizona, but look into this for him to at least get ordained. I live in California. We are having a friend do our ceremony and he is working with our county and making necessary appointments with the courthouse to make sure he does everything right.

Unless your grandpa has officiated before and knows exactly how to write up the ceremony , I would hire a pro for your wedding.

Takes the pressure off him and one less thing for you to stress on

Oh god, here we go again. The legality is the least of it; anyone can be legal; one of my colleagues has a basset hound who is ordained..... (of course, in some states even Ralph couldn't officiate, and the lack of opposable thumbs is a real downfall when it comes to license signing....)

Get a pro. Have your grandfather do a reading. Don't pressure him to create a meaningful ceremony for you because it's more time consuming and more labor intensive than you think. (I have stepped in for at least three grandparents who bailed because they just want to be honored guests but they didn't want to disappoint their grandkids.)

Having a relative marry you presents a number of problematic issues, not the least of which is their ability to command a room at the most important part of the celebration. (And just being a good public speaker doesn't cover that.....) They need to construct a meaningful ceremony, which is a type of writing not everyone can do. (Of course, they can cop something off the internet; that makes it really 'personal' doesn't it....)

They need to be able to organize your processional, advise you on readings and ceremony elements and basically talk you off the ledge when it comes to every aspect of the ceremony, including the license. We get more screwed up licenses here than you could believe and your cousin is not going to know how to fix that.

In a weird way, this is the same discussion as having a dry wedding; you can throw up all the justifications you want (including the ever popular, "it will be more personal") but in many cases it comes down to "we don't want to pay a pro for the most important thing of the day."

Don't make your family work. If they offer, say no. It's always the best answer.

^Everything Celia said Hire a pro to ensure the ceremony goes smoothly, and don't put that stress on family members or friends.

This isn't a money thing. It's a "the pastor that I always thought would marry me isn't in my life and I am NOT hiring someone that is not meaningful" thing. So thanks for your advice but I will be using my grandfather and he is very excited to do this.

Kthxbai.

MIranda? A good officiant is going to make your wedding sound like they've known you forever; that's what we do.

Excited=/=well done

Hope your marriage is legal! Why take that risk?

You do know that you can meet with as many officiants as you want before booking one right? It's not like you HAVE to hire the first one you meet with. Take your time and find a pro that both you and your FH click with.

Celia is an officiant, listen to her. No need for attitude.

Also, Celia, tell us more about this ordained basset hound!

@Celia

...

I know this wasn't the point. But - can I please get married by the hound?

I'll tip him in milk bones!

So...anyone hiring a pro doesn't have meaningful ceremony? Gee thanks

"Kthxbai"?

What? That makes you sound immature. Sorry, just really hate that.

Anyway, hire a pro. You won't like it if your marriage is invalid because of using your grandpa... agree with what @Celia said.

ULC should work fine - friends weddings have done it in the past with no problems however this is a little tricky since there are so many states/county rules and regulations. If you do your research then everything should be good to go!

In the end it's your wedding so you do you!

Why would you expect any actual advice when you respond like a petulant child?

Good luck, hope you end up legally married...

I went to a wedding two months ago where the pastor had never officiated a wedding before. He is a legally ordained minister so he had the power to marry them, and had been preaching (aka a type of public speaking) for years, but had no idea how to do a wedding ceremony. He was constantly tripping over his words, almost forgot the vows and had to back track, and stared at his script during the entire ceremony. It was very awkward and obvious he had never done this before.

Officiants take time to get to know the couple, so it's not just a stranger up there with you two. It's very sweet that your grandfather wants to do this for you, but he likely has no idea what he's getting himself into. I highly suggest having him do a reading and hiring a pro officiant.

ETA: Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

The sentiment is really sweet, it is. I can see what the appeal is. But a professional officiant will have the experience necessary to combat issues that may come up. A good officiant will also get to know you ahead of time and be able to put personal touches in the ceremony that won't make it look like you just found someone online who you've never met before.

I was wary about looking at officiants online too because all the weddings I'd been to seemed to be done by someone who knew the couple getting married. I started looking yesterday though, and I got really good vibes from a few of them.

Seriously, reconsider this. I know it would probably mean more to you, but that's a lot of pressure for him - even though I'm guessing he offered.

Look around the vendor tab on here, see what's available in your area. Check out their websites. Call them and just see if any *feel* good to you.

Hmm I've been to at least 5-6 weddings where a non-professional officiated, including my brother's (my uncle officiated) and my cousin's (my mom officiated), and they were all lovely. The weddings I've attended with professional officiants were also lovely!

Just make sure you look up the laws in the state/county you're getting married in to make sure it is legal. Also understand that this is a BIG job so make sure your family member doesn't feel pressured into it.