How far ahead of time to ask flower girls/jr bridesmaids?

Our wedding isn’t until March of 2023 and we’re asking our bridal party other than flower girls (who are 3 and 5 now) this summer. One of my bridesmaids is fairly poor and lives multiple states away, my maid of honor lives multiple states away (also fairly poor) and another bridesmaid is my FH’s cousin whose brothers are going to be in his grooms’s party. So his aunt and uncle’s whole family will be in the wedding, though they are 13, 12 and 10 so their concept of time is a little better. We wanted to give them (everyone) plenty of time to save since everyone will have to travel, our wedding will be about six hours away from FH’s family. For the flower girls, we’ll ask them next summer when things are a little closer since they’re younger. I would wait until 14-12ish months before your wedding unless you know people will need to be saving to travel to bridal showers and bachelorette parties or unless you’re including an entire family of kids like we are.

The same time frame as bridesmaids: no earlier than 6 months before the wedding.

7 to max 9 months is the earliest for any WP to be asked. lower girl dresses should be purchased in the last 4 months for growing
kids. And BM dresses come in 2-10 weeks after ordering, and are best ordered at 4-5 months so that few alterations are made due to weight loss of +-15lbs. Fine if your fg are coordinating with bm dresses.

View Quoted Comment Thats crazy to me, with so many members of my family working in health care, nobody would be able to get off work only 6 months in advance!

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Many brides have posted here saying they asked a year or more without taking into account relationships changing so they regret asking and post wondering how to get their bridesmaids kicked out. You know you're inviting certain family so you discuss plans with them so they know when your date is (save the dates sent 8-12 months out). But a bridesmaid has no duties prior to 6 months out.

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Also crazy to me. Wedding party are the VIPs. How are you supposed to set your wedding date without confirming that your VIPs are available on that date and able to be there? My FH is a doctor and 2 of his groomsmen are as well. Only giving them 6 months notice would have been a complete and utter diaster

You can reserve dates knowing who you have in mind, and some like dad don't change. But whole bridal parties do dot ha e to be formally asked and announced anywhere near as many do. There is a lot to be said for knowing who will / will not be at some stage of pregnancy,, or setting their vacation time away for when parent has surgery 3,000 miles away, or who gets in to grad school or leaves the military, before they are asked. Often in the 7 months to 9 months time people who said yes pull out. So their advance notiv
ce is worthless. And many who ask at 2 years, friends all our lives, are no longer friends at all at a year, too bad you put the husband and kid in your party too.
One of the biggest regrets people say here after doing it, is that they ignored advice to wait and did ask early, and made a horrible mess because of it.