How far is too far for a rehearsal dinner?

I don't think its a BAD drive, but I don't think its a good drive either....Its doable with some minor irritations

What day would this be on? For our rehearsal we had to do a Thursday night. I absolutely would not require a 45 minute drive for anyone who might work the next day. If it's a Friday night then I don't think it's terrible but definitely not ideal. Is there a way to wait until you have a venue selected and then broach the topic with your inlaws. Tell them it's a great offer but the venue is a bit far away. When it's still up in the air it's hard but once you have it locked in then the conversation should be able to come more naturally. Good luck.

I would say a 30 minute drive is the maximum.

We are facing the exact same issue. FILs have graciously offered to host the RD, but it is around an hour drive from our venue. Unfortunately many of our guests live close to the venue or will be coming from out of town and using public transportation (I.e. Will not have cars), so I don't know how we would get all of these people out to the suburbs. Hoping someone has a solution or a way to approach FILs about this problem!!

Like the others said, whilst not ideal, I wouldn't have an issue with it. I probably just wouldn't stay too long at the dinner.

I wouldn't think twice about 30 minutes - but further than that and I'd be side eyeing

It's not a bad drive, though for out of towners that don't know the area, it's inconvenient. I would suggest making it closer, but not demand it since after all, like you said, your future in-laws are hosting.

I would not be happy about a 45 minute drive especially is i was staying close to the venue and it was an hour and a half round trip.. i also wouldnt be picking the venue based on what is close to their house so can have the rehearsal dinner there. i would look into inexpensive restaurants close to the venue you want.

If they ask for your suggestion then I would tell them but otherwise I would let them pick since they are hosting.

Can you try to arrange car pools? I don't think there's much you can do since they are being sweet and hosting, and it sounds like having a catered dinner is out of their budget. I wouldn't be thrilled about a 45 minute drive, but if you can schedule it to try to minimize traffic time, that will help. It also depends on where you live. In some cities, 45 minutes it not a big deal, but in others it's a huge drag.

I think it's too far but if it is the situation then not a ton you can do about it. If its Thursday or Friday I think people have just come off work or traveling and don't want to travel extra far. But at the same time the dinner isn't required so it is possible some people will go home right away if it isn't close anyways

I don't think they should make their plans until your venue is decided. Their plans should be based off of yours, not the other way around. My in-laws hosted the rehearsal dinner at my parents house instead of their own because it was much closer to the venue.

Thanks for all of the replies, ladies. I was thinking 20 minutes *might* be okay but that 45 minutes was too far. I guess once we nail the venue down, my FH and I can touch base with them again to see if we can come to some sort of compromise.

We are definitely not picking a venue based on proximity to their house. My FMIL did suggest a few (after she insisted she wanted no input - here we go!), and of course, they are all close to her house. lol However, they are also way out of our price range and were eliminated a long time ago.

Kylene - We are most likely going with a Saturday wedding, which means a rehearsal dinner on Friday. Traffic is definitely a concern because I live in Atlanta and Friday nights are horrendous here. Rush hour runs 3PM to 7PM or later and even worse if there's a Braves game or something scheduled. I will have to think about that some more.

Fluffy - Carpooling is an idea. About half of our wedding party is made up of locals or people who lived here at some point, so that could work. I wouldn't be as worried about people getting lost, either.